


I Got My Ion You

by bronzegyu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comedy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Romance, closeted wonwoo, my gay ass has feels abt the midwest basically and this fic happened, slow burn tbh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2018-10-19 02:04:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 60,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10629882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bronzegyu/pseuds/bronzegyu
Summary: Group work is tough. Especially if you’re Jeon Wonwoo, an uptight Valedictorian, and your lab partner is a 6 foot tall hot (literally) mess otherwise known as Kim Mingyu.To make things worse Wonwoo finds himself stuck in the middle of a clique he doesn’t really like with the new kid Vernon. Will Wonwoo ditch his friends and his set out plan in the middle of his senior year for the clumsy and mysterious art kid Mingyu or will he end up doing something he regrets?





	1. The New Kid (again)

It was like one of those movie moments. Vernon Chwe was standing in the center of the slightly sticky but mostly just nasty concrete court in front of Glendale High. His fourth school in his four years of high school. Like every other high school in existence, Glendale reeked of apathy, and Vernon picked up on that immediately. He just stood there as what seemed to be hundreds of bodies milled around him trying to get to class or trying to get out of class. Those who tricked themselves into believing that high school mattered in some way (clearly it didn’t and never will) slowed as they passed the new kid to stare for a second or two. Vernon never knew if they stared because he was a new addition to the environment they all had figured out or if it was because they didn’t know where to place him. He always wondered if they saw the white in him first or the Asian. Could they see that he was doing everything in his power to act like nothing could bother him or could they see through that in a second? 

These are all things he wondered. Thoughts that he let rest in the back of his brain, but right now he had something more important in mind- surviving senior year. Vernon was so tired. Tired of moving from city to city, restarting every time, and pretending that he was having fun. He was just so tired. He wanted to just get senior year over with so he could start the next phase of his life. One that he had control over. But for right now, he was going to focus on getting through first block, then the whole day, then eventually the whole school year. And as he was standing on that gross concrete, all Vernon could think about is how much he truly did not care and how he wished someone had figured out how to make time move faster. 

The next thing Vernon registered in his brain was a big blond head running (if you could call it that) towards him. For some reason this kid opened his mouth and chirped,  


“Hi I’m Seungkwan! You must be Hansol!” 

It took Vernon a second to process that this Seungkwan kid was talking to him. Partly because he had never seen someone so awake at 8 o'clock in the morning, but mostly because he hadn’t heard his real name spoken with that soft Korean cadance in ages. When Vernon finally snapped back into reality he met Seungkwan’s big brown eyes and replied “ummm I actually go by Vernon.” There was a soft slip in Seungkwan’s smile but it seemed as though it came back as quickly as it left. 

“Okay, Vernon! Today is your first day at Glendale, and I’ll be your tour guide-” 

“Who put you up to that?” 

“No one! I just wanted to. It’s not every day you see a Korean kid in this part of the Midwest.” 

Vernon chuckled to himself and noted that Seungkwan’s accent was more than just  
barely there. It slurred his speech just enough to make him stand out, but I guess his blonde hair was already doing most of the work. 

Seungkwan was anything but subtle. His hands moved a little too quickly when he talked and he gestured with his entire body. He moved with the words he was saying, and he used parts of his face Vernon didn’t even know that you could use to illustrate whatever story he was telling. And for a kid with a accent on the thicker side, he really didn’t seem shy about talking either. Or shy about anything really. In the first 10 minutes of meeting Seungkwan, he had already proudly explained that he was the president of Student Council and told him about the time he got a rash after eating too many tangerines. You see, Seungkwan never really said things, he just went on long, accidentally funny tangents that left who ever he was talking too with a lingering feeling of TMI. 

Seungkwan was quick too. He didn’t look it, but boy could that kid walk fast. Vernon’s usual lazy wandering turned into a brisk walk as he followed Seungkwan. He showed him the big gyms, the swimming pool, the orchestra room, the choir, the everything. Seungkwan made sure to emphasize that Glendale had all of the facilities but none of the talent needed to house successful programs. 

As they walked around the school Vernon couldn’t help but notice typical signs of American teenagerhood. He saw groups of friends discussing their uneventful summers, kids complaining about taking too many hard classes and teachers chastising students for breaking dress code. The hallways were long and littered with colorful anti-bullying posters that were mostly ignored and dumb freshman welcoming signs that Seungkwan spent hours making with the Student Council but would inevitably be torn down by the end of the day. To Vernon it seemed like a safe, typical high school for his senior year and that’s the only thing he could find solace in. 

The one thing that stood out to Vernon was the library. It was the spot to hang out. It was placed right in the center of school and according to Seungkwan “everyone who was anything at Glendale” hung out there. When Seungkwan opened the doors to the library to show Vernon around, it was almost as if they had left the nastiness of a Midwestern High School and had been transported to some weird utopia (although Vernon didn’t believe in those). The square room was lined with book shelves carrying everything from mangas to literary classics. The rest of the space was made homey with couches and desks for studying. You could really tell the librarians wanted this space to be particularly welcoming. Naturally friend groups had clung to their established tables and used the space to solidify their cliques. Obviously Seungkwan had to make a fuss about pointing every group that was hanging out in the library and explaining their place in the Glendale social hierarchy. Seungkwan really did have a flair for the dramatic and even made sure to point out who not to hang out with. Vernon side eyed the kid and tried to pretend he wasn’t more than just amused at his antics. 

After his little tour, Vernon found his way to his second block class. Instead of sleeping through his free first block like he had intended to, Seungkwan explained everything about Glendale High in meticulous detail. The school was predominantly white and conservative, but there was a fair share of Asian students along with a couple of Black and Latino Students. Seungkwan blamed it on historic systemic oppression in their town and Vernon didn’t even know what to do with the information other than figure that Seungkwan a lot more than just a bubbly Student Council President. 

Afterwards, Seungkwan explained to him that no one in the entire high school had any pep other than the cheerleaders and their boyfriends. Not even the Student Council cared about anything. He carefully explained that most people just did things to beef up their college applications and that’s what he hated the most about Glendale. The first period bell interrupted Seungkwan’s little rant about the school and Vernon thanked him for showing him around. Although he hadn’t gotten to relax during his off block like he wanted, spending it with Seungkwan wasn’t the worst way to start the day at a brand new school, but it was still the same new kid routine Vernon had been perfecting for as long as he could remember.  
Starting a class at a new school is when historically things had gone south for Vernon. This time though, the stakes were high. It was his senior year, it was Chemistry, and everyone already had friends. Either he’ll be the only one in Chem without a friend, or he’ll be stuck with the other loser in class. When Vernon walked into his class he purposely finds his way to the seat closest to the back like he always did at a new school. He just didn’t see the point in liking a subject or getting attached when he was just going to move away anyways. I mean all he had to do was pass right? His enthusiasm, or lack thereof was obvious, and he liked it that way. He had no interest in being in that Chem class, and he wasn’t afraid to let the teacher know that either. He put in his headphones, cranked up the volume to his Chance the Rapper playlist and just tried to focus on making it through the day. 

A few rows in front of him, a kid with a whole different outlook on school was picking his spot for the year. Jeon Wonwoo was, to put it simply, rather particular about his spot in class. Wonwoo was, in fact, convinced had picked the best spot in the class. He was in the second row just off center of the class. It was close enough to indicate that he was interested in the subject and far enough to signal that Chem came to him naturally (like everything else) and he didn’t need any attention from the teacher. Wonwoo looked like he was made for that spot. He melted into his persona as naturally as a popsicle on a hot summer's day. Wonwoo looked effortless, he was at home in that dull Chemistry room. His sharp features were softened just the right amount with his round glasses and sweater to make him look like a mostly friendly, but somewhat intimidating, Valedictorian type. His whole ensemble made him the perfect mix of cool, collected, and cautious. Although he looked like he was made for the part, everything from his appearance to his seat was calculated and planned to set him up for the senior year he had dreamed for. 

To be completely honest Wonwoo was quite content with himself. He was ready to make it the year of Valedictorian Wonwoo. Just as he was getting ready to start Chemistry on the right foot when a tall kid came running into class along with the bell. His hair was dark and messy, probably because he didn’t wake up early enough to brush it out in the morning. And he had to run his fingers through his hair to move it out of his eyes for a very practical reason; he needed to see. Unfortunately the only spot left was in the first row just off center to the right… 

It’s after the entrance of the tall, tanned weirdo that Wonwoo decides that you can’t plan everything. The rando had taken the seat right in front of him and reminded him that high school is full of heathens who wake up late, don’t care about anything, and exist to ruin your senior year. Wonwoo really knew he was out of luck when the oaf turned around and whispered to a poor unsuspecting girl for a pencil. I mean who doesn’t bring a pencil to a senior level Chemistry class? It’s Chemistry. You do things. It’s really not that surprising. But Wonwoo had to collect himself. So he just tried to focus on the lecture, but it didn’t help that the guy was tall enough to completely block Wonwoo’s perfectly planned view of the front of the classroom. Or that he pulled out a comb to brush his hair out halfway through class. To make things worse (if they could get worse), the kid in front of him was dumb enough to wear a thick ratty ass GAP sweatshirt to class and was now struggling to take it off in his seat. Watching the back of the fool's head while he was squirming in his seat was not fun, and it only made it that much harder for Wonwoo to see the board. While their teacher continued to drone on about proper lab etiquette, Wonwoo could only wonder 1) what the idiot’s name was and 2) how he hadn’t flunked out of high school yet. 

When their teacher took roll Wonwoo figured out the idiot’s name was Mingyu. It was oddly nice to put a name to the thing he already knew would ruin his academic experience in Chem class. Wonwoo’s luck starts to reappear halfway through class when Mingyu hunched over his desk and Wonwoo was able to see the board. Wonwoo wasn’t sure if Mingyu was sleeping or if he just passed out but what he was doing didn’t even matter. Mingyu was out of sight and out of mind. Problem solved. And just as Wonwoo was starting to forgot about that Mingyu kid the teacher decided to announce lab partners. 

“Wonwoo your lab partner is Mingyu.” 

All of a sudden all Wonwoo can think about is how screwed he is. Wonwoo isn’t dramatic. He really isn’t. But in that moment his senior year was falling apart. Chemistry was supposed to be perfect. He was supposed to get the top grades and then that would push him to first in the class instead of second. This was the only thing he had been counting on since his freshman year. When he transferred into Glendale his sophomore year he made it his mission to get that Valedictorian seat, and he’d planned his entire class schedule around it. This was the last class he had to take to make that dream reality. It was the last class he had to take to assert his academic superiority and although that was a dick move, Wonwoo needed that. How was he supposed to achieve all those dreams if he had a oversized imbecile as his lab partner? 

Wonwoo just sits at his seat waiting- no expecting- Mingyu to turn around and introduce himself but he doesn’t. The seconds add up as Wonwoo impatiently shakes his legs waiting for Mingyu to introduce himself and his inflated ego starts to, well, deflate when he realizes he was going to have to initiate communication. After fake coughing and waiting a little to get Mingyu’s attention, Wonwoo gives up. He carefully leans forward, making sure there’s space between their bodies, to look over at what Mingyu is doing. His eyes widen as he sees Mingyu’s comical, but very accurate, caricature of their Chemistry teacher drawn on the back side of the class syllabus. Wonwoo can’t help but let a scoff escape his lips and that is what for some reason got Mingyu’s attention. Mingyu snaps his head around at just the right angle and knocks his head into Wonwoo’s. And it wasn’t just a bump. It was the real deal. Wonwoo’s head flew backwards colliding with Mingyu’s, and his glasses (which were loose to begin with) flew off his face. The impact of their heads hurt to say the least. Mingyu was left tearing up and blubbering like a child, and Wonwoo was partially blinded because his glasses had fallen off his face and cracked against the crummy Chem lab tile flooring. The next thing Mingyu processed was that he was stuck staring at a set of sharp angry eyes in a pair of cracked silver rimmed glasses. All Mingyu could do was stare back, and offer a sheepish smile. Wonwoo’s usually calm attitude almost fell apart. All he could manage to do is stare back at Mingyu in disbelief. I mean how could this kid get any more hopeless? He tried not to think about the glasses and instead he focused on forming some words. Any words would probably make this situation less awkward. He manages to get out just five, 

“I’m Wonwoo. Your lab partner.”


	2. Clique's and Chem Labs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vernon is still figuring out Glendale and high school cliques are enticing as ever. 
> 
> Wonwoo on the other hand learns more than he expects during a Chem lab.

The first weeks of school flew by, or Vernon just doesn’t remember them because he spent most of his time sleeping. Well, he tried to sleep, but in reality, he’s usually roped into helping Seungkwan with Student Council once or twice a week during his off first block. 

Vernon thinks he’s pretty good at figuring people out. He’s quiet, so he picks up on lots of things, but he doesn’t get Seungkwan. Seungkwan has effortlessly charmed half the school and the teachers into loving him but he really doesn’t seem to have many friends. Sure people respect him, they listen to him, and they do what he says but he’s always so busy and occupied Vernon never sees him just hanging out with anyone. At first, he thought it was because Seungkwan is really that busy, but he sees now that Seungkwan is simply invested in making sure he appears to be. 

And for some reason, Seungkwan has let Vernon invade his time and his space, but they aren’t really friends. Vernon doesn’t know if Seungkwan just likes having someone listen, really listen, to his stupid rants, or if he actually just needs someone to help him with his work, but either way, Vernon doesn’t mind it. It mixes up his otherwise stagnant routine of getting through the day barely awake. Every once in awhile Seungkwan will sing a little bit or spill a little too much gossip, and Vernon can’t help but let smiles grow on his face. Overall school isn’t that bad, it never really is, it’s just boring, but Seungkwan somehow manages to coax a little smile out of Vernon here and there. And every time Seungkwan notices a mop of dark wavy hair bowing towards the ground hiding a smile, he can't help but feel proud of himself. 

Even though Seungkwan has become a supporting character in Vernon’s life, adapting to Glendale is still tough. Vernon doesn’t really do anything productive, unless you count the couple hours he spends following around Seungkwan, but he still feels drained all the time. And his Chem class is still a thing which sucks, but Vernon has to admit his Chem partner is nice enough. She doesn’t really make him do more than half the work and is generally a nice girl. 

No one really gives Vernon a hard time for being new either. They just ignore him instead. Vernon isn’t really sure what to make of that. Rather than noticing that Vernon stands out like a vegan at a barbeque, everyone at school decides to pretend like he doesn’t exist. Vernon is an unessential piece of the ecosystem that is Glendale High. He watches from the sidelines as football players win games and the theater department puts on plays and he manages to stay alert enough to weave his way around the school without causing anyone to pay attention to him. He’s perfected the art of blending into the background of Glendale, something he could probably do at any high school if he wanted to after all his years of practice. But at the end of the day he’s still numb, and although he will never admit it, he’s searching for something. 

The only thing that Vernon enjoyed (because he won’t admit to enjoying his time with Seungkwan) is his lunch break. It’s nice to escape school for a little bit and nibble on some sad excuse for lunch. Vernon felt the happiest, well happy is pushing it, more like the most okay, when he was sitting on a table listening to his music and chomping on a dry turkey sandwich he had grabbed from the fridge that morning. He chooses to spend his forty-five minutes of free time in solitude. Ironically that chunk of time is the only time he got to do whatever he wanted—even if it was just chomping on a dry turkey sandwich. It was a necessary escape away from all the teachers who were overworked, underpaid, and found a sadistic sort of pleasure in nagging him to do shit. In the library during his lunch break, he got to do whatever he wanted even if that meant just listening to music and eating a nasty lunch all by himself. Sure, it isn’t the coolest way for an angsty teen to exert his freedom, but Vernon takes what he can get. The solace he found alone in the library was strange, to say the least, but so was being the new kid with no friends senior year. 

While Vernon was enjoying his alone time with his stale lunch meat, on the other side of the library Wonwoo was sitting at his usual lunch table with his friends. They had made sure to claim the perfect spot in the library on the first day of school senior year. It was a rather large table for four people, but it was placed in a corner of the library ensuring they get privacy from the librarians and also get away with not using inside voices. 

For as long as Wonwoo could remember the four of them had been inseparable. Though they were all as different as could be, they were knit together like a snug winter glove. In many ways, they were a clique. But they didn’t shove freshman into lockers or coordinate outfits, so Wonwoo figured it was fine. To people who didn’t know them at all it seemed like they were meant to travel in a pack. The four guys were all recognizable as individuals but they had this aura that linked them together. You could almost feel it when they walked into a room. In the back of his head Wonwoo knew being in a clique was just a dickish move, but there was something enticing knowing he always had a place to fall back into. He rationalized being in a clique or a group or whatever by reminding himself he only had a year left, what could really change? What harm could come out of his stupid high school clique? 

When Wonwoo was added to the group his sophomore year of high school he still had an awkward Super Cuts haircut and wore straight-legged jeans. Over the years, he’d grown alongside (and with the guidance of) his friends Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon. He started to wear dark skinny jeans and bookish sweaters. He switched out contact lenses for glasses to help him fit the role of the smart one, and his new found importance, maybe even popularity, had gotten to his head. Although, he would never admit that in a thousand years. 

It was just another day of sitting around in the library his senior year when Seokmin asked,

“Who’s that kid over there?” 

Wonwoo looked up from the article he was reading to casually glance around to see who Seokmin was pointing at. He lets his eyes wander around the library, over the groups of freshman studying, the jocks trying to print off an assignment before class, and the loner girls curled up with the latest YA novel before his eyes settle on a generic looking kid wearing headphones. Wonwoo felt like he had seen the kid around, but truthfully the kid looked like every other high school slacker. The kid was casually bobbing his head to music and is posed in a way that makes him look like he was born to exude a lethargic cool. Wonwoo shrugged, making it clear he doesn’t care about this random new kid and mumbled something to Seokmin about minding his own business, but Seokmin is persistent. When no one at the table could tell him who that kid was, his interest only peaked. He wanted to know about the mystery boy that ate lunch alone in the library every day. 

Seokmin is unanimously acknowledged as the leader of their group. There was something about the way he conducted himself that gave everyone that impression. Wonwoo theorized it came from the lazy drawl he forced his voice into and his “preppy rich boy meets fake hipster” aesthetic, but Jihoon and Jun knew better. They knew that coming off as the leader wasn’t natural to Seokmin. It was a learned skill one that he had cultivated over the years. He made it look natural, easy even—the best ones always do. 

Being the leader is of a group gives one great power, and with great power comes great responsibility. So after sizing up the lunch loner, as Seokmin dubbed him in his head, he made up his mind and decided to give him a chance. 

“Hey Headphones!” 

His shout was met with collective shushing from the librarians and wide eyes from Wonwoo and Jihoon. Jihoon doesn’t speak up that often but when he does his words come out in short, urgent bites. When he hears Seokmin calling over some random kid, he grumbles, puts down the homework he had been trying to work on, and lets out an exhausted,

“What are you doing?” 

Jihoon hated meeting new people and does everything in his power to avoid it. If anyone could get Seokmin to reconsider inviting the kid over, it would be Jihoon. They had been friends forever as far as anyone knew. Even though everything from their looks to their personalities to their heights were in complete opposition to each other, they had always managed to be best friends. 

They had been practically inseparable since they started toddling around in preschool. In elementary school, they broke their legs playing soccer together. In middle school, they both had the crush on the same girl and felt the heartbreak together, and now they kind of ruled high school together. So Seokmin would swallow his pride occasionally and listen to Jihoon, and in turn, Jihoon would soften up and return the favor. But today Seokmin was feeling stubborn so he just pushed Jihoon’s annoyance aside and looked to Jun, silently instructing him to say something. Jun slapped on his signature smile and said, 

“Calm down Jihoon, let’s just meet the guy. It’s not like he’s gonna bite.” 

Vernon heard a call from the other side of the library and saw a guy expectantly looking at him, waving his hand telling him to move toward him. After looking around to make sure the guy was talking to him and not some other kid wearing headphones, he slowly walked over. Thinking about how he maybe wasn’t as invisible as he thought he was. He walked over to the table and saw four guys, one with silver specs who was clearly trying to look preoccupied with an article, a small grumpy looking kid who was actually just immersed in his homework, a handsome, tanned guy with a sharp nose, and the kid who called him over. The kid who called him over was still looking at him, waiting for him to say something. Vernon cleared his throat, 

“Hey... Did you need something? ” 

His voice came out groggy and lazy but not nearly as nervous as he was feeling. The kid with the sharp nose smiles, showcasing a set of straight clean pearly whites and says,

“I dunno. I’m Jun and Seokmin over there was just wondering who you are.” 

Vernon couldn’t help but think that this interaction seemed like it belonged in a coming of age movie that’s trying too hard, but he doesn't know what to do with his own analysis, so he just looks at the kid who called him over. 

He was wearing one of those kinda offensive and generic looking tribal print shirts with a pair of dark denim and some expensive looking shoes. An ensemble that was technically fashionable but also looked like it was pulled off of some mannequin at Urban Outfitters. Everything about Seokmin felt like that. Everything from the practiced curve of his smile to the hearty laughter he could produce on cue felt hollow, fake, and insincere. But that feeling was also subtle. Subtle enough that you had to be searching to put your finger on what was off about Seokmin. It wasn’t easy to notice that his personality was borrowed but Vernon had met plenty of Seokmins in the past.

Seokmin looked up at Vernon, pulled him a chair, and told him to sit down, and for some reason, Vernon complied. Vernon let Seokmin ask him all the usual stuff—if he’s new, where he transferred from, why he transferred—and Vernon found himself answering. He doesn’t exactly know why he answered the questions. Maybe it was the way Jun and Seokmin looked like they really cared or the rush he got from being invited to talk to someone. Vernon was used to being a loner, but it was still hard to resist their effortless charm. 

It went decently well, Vernon liked Seokmin and Jun, and aside from Seokmin’s fake facade, their questioning somehow seemed genuine. For once, talking about himself wasn’t a daunting task. Vernon even let Seokmin ask about the stuff he usually kept off limits: hobbies, movies, and family. And just as everything was going smoothly Seokmin found a way to ruin it. Before he could think twice Seokmin opened his mouth,

“Dude are you mixed? Cause you kinda of look Asian but also kinda white?”

And for a second Vernon froze. He felt betrayed and he remembers why he had built up walls as he moved from one school to the next. It’s a typical dumb question, and Vernon doesn’t expect anything more from a stupidly homogenous high school in the midwest, but in the half hour he’s known Seokmin, he finds himself expecting more from him. For one he was Asian, and two he had seemed like he wanted to know Vernon. Vernon sat there and stared at his fingers, fiddling with them, trying to collect his thoughts and come up with something, anything, to say. His face was blank and numb and felt like nothing. 

When he figured out something to say after his initial wave of nerves and numbness, he felt calm, he looked at the expectant faces of Seokmin, Jun, and noticed that now Wonwoo and Jihoon were listening as well and addressed Seokmin directly,

“No one is kinda Asian. I’m half Korean if that’s what you mean.” 

Seokmin stared at Vernon. His big wide smile faltered for a second but he managed to keep it there. His eyes weren’t shining and happy like they were before, instead, they looked nervous and embarrassed. Seokmin had control over his face and his features so on first glance Vernon couldn't tell that he was hurt but after a second examination, he could clearly see his features were strained. He could see that Seokmin was masking how he was really feeling because he couldn’t afford to lose his casual “I’m always in control” look. 

Wonwoo, on the other hand, is impressed. He can tell that Vernon was apprehensive of talking to them before this but all of a sudden it seemed like Vernon had found his voice. Wonwoo respects that. It isn’t easy standing up to Seokmin, he exuded this charisma that made it impossible for most people to question him. One time Seokmin told Jamie Alverz (the Geography Bee captain that had lead Glendale to three consecutive state titles) that New Mexico’s capital was Mexico City and she didn’t correct him. So saying Seokmin was convincing was a total understatement. 

Over the years seeing stuff like that happen had only proven to Wonwoo that Seokmin was an idiot, but a powerful one at that. It was kinda scary seeing the power he could have over people. Although it wasn’t too much of a surprise, Seokmin was a smart, straight, wealthy kid with endless charm. He felt entitled to that kind of power. 

Thus Wonwoo found it quite admirable but also quite funny that Vernon had so quickly handed Seokmin’s cocky ass back to him. Wonwoo had a unorthodox sense of humor, so to him it was the funniest thing he had seen all week. So funny that Wonwoo broke into a fit of giggles that morphed into full-fledged laughter. The kind that would get him glares from the librarians if they hadn’t already picked to favor him as one of their favorite students. When Wonwoo is finally done laughing, he collects himself and looks at Vernon with kind eyes, eyes that are still watery from laughing too hard and says, 

“I’m Wonwoo. Nice to meet you.”

Vernon nods with a new found confidence and automatically gives him a little sup bro nod while Wonwoo added,

“Oh this is Jihoon.” 

So Jihoon, the grumpy kid, murmured a quiet “hello” or something so he doesn’t come off like a dick and continued to do his work. Wonwoo mentally grunts at his friend’s inability to be normal and decides that you can’t change the temperament of people. Jihoon was Jihoon. He was a bit more than prickly on the outside, but if you got to know him, he was actually really cool. And that’s when Wonwoo finally is able to place why Vernon looked so familiar, 

“Ohh you’re the new kid in my Chem class right?” 

Vernon nodded, and Wonwoo noticed that his muscles relaxed. He settled back down into his chair looking visibly more comfortable and was surprised that Wonwoo remembered him. Watching Vernon soften up a bit is all Wonwoo needed in that moment. Jihoon was busy with homework, Seokmin was sulking, Jun was preoccupied with his phone, and he needed someone from his Chem class to rant to. 

So Wonwoo launched into the many dumb stories about his lab partner. He complains that his lab partner is a giant idiot parading around as a high school student. To be fair, Wonwoo’s lab partner was particularly stupid but it wasn’t really a Wonwoo thing to worry, or rant, or show any sort of emotion about in public really. 

Wonwoo was a cold, detached asshole. Wonwoo was the kinda guy who just looked as studious as he was on paper while managing to not look like a total nerd. He was also closed off and secretive. He looked disinterested in what was going on around him but it was clear that Wonwoo was smart enough to pick up on everything going on around him. He just chose to seem like he did not to care, and that was part of his icy charm. In reality Wonwoo was just trying to get through each of his classes. He was going to graduate this year so he just didn’t care. His aura might have come off as mean but it was actually just disinterested as it could possibly get. So his rant was more than just characteristic, it was like he temporarily stopped being the Wonwoo everyone knew. 

Vernon was fairly certain that Wonwoo was wired to be a bit of an ass, but it was intimidating nonetheless. So Vernon was taken aback watching Wonwoo rant. Sure, Vernon didn’t care that much about school but that didn’t mean he was oblivious. He had seen Wonwoo in class and around the school and he knew he wasn’t the kind of guy to go on rants, so Vernon listened. As Wonwoo talked about Chem lab conundrums, Vernon saw his too smart for school facade slip. Wonwoo’s usually neutral expression twisted into something that looked foreign on his face. Wonwoo was gesturing to add to his story but it was done clumsily, like it was only something that Wonwoo did once in a blue moon. It was easy to tell that speaking with such passion about someone else was a foreign territory to the part of Wonwoo’s brain that dealt with body language. 

And it must be pretty obvious that Wonwoo was acting strange because halfway through his rant Jun looked up from his phone and started to listen. Well, listen is the wrong word. He started to watch Wonwoo move and vaguely heard him repeating “I don’t know why but he just gets under my skin” in frustration and all of a sudden it’s too much. Jun’s toothy smile turns into a laugh and he tilts his head backwards to let the sound escape and exposes his large adam’s apple while he’s at it. Jun turns to Vernon, eyes eager and enlarged and spurted out,

“He’s fucking funny. He looks so stupid when he’s worked up. Like a snowman in the sun or something.” 

Vernon can’t help but grin when Jun spoke to him like that. Like they’ve been friends and Vernon should know what Wonwoo was like. Vernon can’t help but feel comfortable. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, Vernon ached to be part of something and for a split second, Jun had un-maliciously tricked him into feeling like he was. Jun noticed Vernon’s grin and adds, 

“See. It is funny” 

Which is what prompts Wonwoo to snap. He narrowed his eyes and retorted with one of those pointed comments he’s famous for, 

“It’s really not that funny when this is the only class I have to get a good grade in to be Valedictorian. I’m second to this idiot.”

He points at Jihoon who is more than happy to enter the conversation now that his reputation has been threatened,

“Well that sounds like a you problem.”

And in his gut Wonwoo know’s Jihoon was right. As annoying as Mingyu may be, he is his lab partner and he was just going to have to figure out a way to work with him. Even the thought of that made Wonwoo’s face twist up like he had bit into sour candy he had to deal with it. He figured that he had to have some sort of senior challenge and it might as well be a dumb lab partner. 

When he focused back on the lunch table Jun is supervising the cautious conversation between Vernon and Jihoon, and Seokmin sits on watching. Seokmin is quiet, unusually so but he also just got roasted like never before at the lunch table. To say the least, Seokmin felt humiliated when Vernon dissed him. In that moment he was thankful for his tanned skin because it hid the red that crept into his cheeks and face. Seokmin would be lying if he said he was totally fine with Vernon sitting at their lunch table at the moment. Vernon had burned him bad, but he had also won the trust of his friends and so he would just have to accept Vernon. In all honesty, Seokmin wanted to kick himself in the face for letting his curiosity get the best of him and inviting Vernon to their table. But Seokmin can’t do anything about what happened now. He instead realizes that he had to be nice to Vernon, he had to “like” Vernon if he wanted to keep his place as leader so he does what it takes. After thinking all this through, he snaps out of his quiet time and lets his artificial grin settle back into his face. He looks at Vernon and interrupts the steady flow of conversation to say,

“You really handed my dumb ass to me didn’t you?” 

Vernon doesn’t know what to say so he shrugs and remarks, 

“I guess that’s one way to put it.” 

Seokmin can’t stand that Vernon was so casually cool. He was jealous but he couldn’t seem that way so he just focuses on what he had to do, 

“You should come eat with us more often Vernon. I’m sure this is more fun than just sitting all alone by yourself.” 

There’s a certain crunch behind Seokmin’s surface level kind words that told Vernon to be wary, that told him to ignore the persistent, patronizing voice of Seokmin and do what he’s always done—be alone. But it's too late, he couldn’t help but feel his place with these guys and was curious about them. They are to some level an enigma. They have an undeniable presence and Vernon wants to understand it, so he feels himself nodding and confidently telling Seokmin, 

“I’ll probably be back. If I feel like it anyway.”

As lunch came to an end Vernon followed everyone’s lead as they begun to pack up their bags. Outside the library Seungkwan is looking through a large window that lets him see what’s going on inside. Seungkwan spotted Vernon chatting with the senior library guys while packing his tuff up to head to class. Seungkwan couldn’t help but feel a dip in his stomach when he saw those guys chatting with Vernon. He knows he has no claim over Vernon, but he figures that Vernon is cool and nice and not at all like the guys at Glendale. He didn’t want to feel attached to Vernon, but he couldn’t help it. 

That’s when Vernon noticed Seungkwan staring at him through the windows, his usual cheer wiped clean from his face. So Vernon offered a small wave, but Seungkwan seemed to be thinking about something else, his mind so preoccupied that he neglected to wave back. He figured that even Seungkwan has to have his off moments. Puzzled, Vernon left the library and figured he should just head to class.

Chemistry is slowly becoming the worst part of Wonwoo’s day. His teacher isn’t too bad, but he’s extremely boring. His lectures are long and dry, and he spends way too much time explaining simple concepts. All Wonwoo needs is the formulas to ace the test so he wonders why they linger on the useless stuff. 

Wonwoo spends most of his class time frustrated. Which is how he spends most of his time, period.

There’s nothing Wonwoo really wants to change because he’s used to his routine so he’s content—for now at least. Every time the feeling of wanting more creeps back into his soul Wonwoo manages to push it back down into the depths of his being and focuses on what he does best, i.e. school. While most of his Chem class struggles to keep up with the teacher, Wonwoo starts and finishes his homework and then struggles with what to do the rest of the time. In many ways Wonwoo envy’s Vernon’s ability to tune out the world with a playlist. But he settles for the disinterested try-hard attitude and so he’s forced to spend most of his class time staring at Mingyu’s back. 

One day the Chemistry room gets rather warm, Mingyu takes off his sweatshirt, and Wonwoo doesn’t really have anywhere else to look so he just watches him struggle to take his sweatshirt off. Wonwoo is pretty tall, but Mingyu is taller and bigger. The tiny Chemistry desk barely contains his long limbs, and Wonwoo gets his daily dose of entertainment watching Mingyu struggle with his sweatshirt this early in the morning. Eventually, Mingyu manages to take it off, and Wonwoo is once again starting at Mingyu’s back. 

Although, now he can’t help but notice his terrible posture. Mingyu is so big and lanky that Wonwoo figures that he hasn’t really figured out how to properly carry his body. This translates into Mingyu’s strong, broad back being obscured by his terrible posture and ill-fitting clothes. And although he shouldn’t, Wonwoo can’t help but wonder how ermm... nice Mingyu would look if he wore clothes that fit him instead of big baggy hand me downs and sat up straight.

You know...to help with his posture. 

But these thoughts are fleeting and Wonwoo’s mind is mostly preoccupied with annoyance because Mingyu barely got to class on time. Again. He’s made a habit of sliding into his seat along with the bell—just barely missing the glare from Mr. Hummel. Wonwoo really doesn’t need any more material than the mental image of him squirming around in his desk struggling with a sweatshirt to conclude that Mingyu is an idiot, but Mingyu never fails to disappoint. He regularly eats his breakfast at his desk, and his breakfast isn’t anything low key like a granola bar or something. Nope. Mingyu regularly eats a helping of oatmeal from a coffee mug that says LAZY on the side. He seems to be simultaneously painfully aware of his own stupidity and totally oblivious too, and it drives Wonwoo insane. 

Although Wonwoo is frustrated and wants to yell at Mingyu to get his act together, all Wonwoo can do is wait impatiently for Mingyu to finish up his morning routine and bend over his desk. He doesn’t want to lose his cool in class and risk his reputation he’s worked hard for over the years. After his morning routine, Wonwoo doesn’t really know what Mingyu does in class. All he knows is that his body seems to fold in half over his table, and Wonwoo can see the board. Wonwoo wants to think he’s taking notes, it should be notes, but it can’t be notes because that boy is literally so clueless. In all honestly, Wonwoo is just glad Mingyu is out of sight, he figures that out of sight means out of mind—right? 

Unfortunately, reality hit Wonwoo when his teacher instructed partners to head to the back of the classroom to work on a lab. Wonwoo was already halfway to the back of the classroom when he realized that Mingyu hadn’t been following him to their table. Wonwoo sighed, tried to remain cool, and walked over to Mingyu’s desk. He didn’t want to touch Mingyu so he grabs a pencil and poked him in the shoulder. Still, Mingyu didn’t move. So Wonwoo decided to shake him and Mingyu irritatedly looked up from his notebook and turned around to say, 

“Oh it-it’s you. Am I s’posed to be doing something?” 

Wonwoo can see that Mingyu wasn’t sleeping, his eyes are alert, and he actually looks confused, so he decided to go easy on him. 

“Um yeah. You are supposed to be helping me with a lab?” 

And that’s when Mingyu understood how big of an imbecile he’s being. He’s pretty sure Wonwoo hates him and he doesn’t really blame him. He know’s he is a walking (well he’s currently sitting) mess and Wonwoo seems like the opposite of that. Mingyu feels heat travel up his face and settle in his ears when he realized that Wonwoo had to shake his shoulders to get his attention. The heat in Mingyu’s face is unable to calm down as he felt Wonwoo’s hand still resting on his shoulders as he impatiently waited for a response. Mingyu finally cleared his head and then his throat out and managed to squeak, 

“Ye-yeah of course I’m coming!” 

Mingyu immediately started to move so he could get up and be helpful to Wonwoo in someway but his limbs are really long and really awkward. And because Mingyu is awkward and a total mess his leg picked this exact moment to cramp up. Mingyu’s knee hit his desk right on a metal piece of it and he fell. His large body started moving downwards (because gravity) and he hit his head on the cold tile Chemisty room floor. Although he’s grateful that this time he didn’t knock down his lab partners glasses and have them crack, he was mentally kicking himself in the shin for making a fool of himself for the millionth time in front of Wonwoo. 

When he looked up his eyes are met with an even more exasperated Wonwoo who shakes his head and extended a small boney hand to help him up. Wonwoo doesn’t even make eye contact with Mingyu. He just pulled him up. Mingyu hopes it’s not super late to get Wonwoo to like him, or at least not hate him for the rest of the year. 

Even if things could always be worse, they’re still pretty freaking terrible. Mingyu is so dense and clumsy, (and every synonym those two words have) making him the world's worst lab partner. Even though Wonwoo does his best to make Mingyu do the bare minimum by limiting his participation in the lab to just handing him things, he still messes up. Wonwoo looked over at Vernon pleading for some help or sympathy but all Vernon could do was chuckle. Wonwoo wasn’t exaggerating when he was talking about his lab partner. He really was the worst. 

Mingyu can’t do anything right. He either doesn’t know what he’s doing or he acts like he does know what he’s doing and messes things up for Wonwoo. If Mingyu isn’t given clear instructions on what to do next he finds a way to screw it up by skipping a step in the lab or something. Wonwoo is sure that if Mingyu had half a heart he’d just stop doing stuff and let Wonwoo take total control. But no Mingyu is stupidly cruel so he continues to drive Wonwoo off the wall. 

Wonwoo had figured out a way to deal with Mingyu towards the end of the period. And just when the lab seemed to be going somewhat okay, after he and Wonwoo had found some sort of rhythm, Mingyu turned around quickly to grab something out of his backpack. His large worn sweatshirt got caught on some lab equipment and Mingyu accidentally knocked over a beaker. 

When Wonwoo hears the glass shattering on the floor he didn’t know what do with himself. Part of him wanted to scream profanities and the other part just wanted to skip out on class to avoid seeing Mingyu ever again. Wonwoo isn’t even frustrated at this point. He’s beyond that. And even he doesn’t know a word to explain that level of anger. And that’s saying something because Wonwoo had a fancy ass word for everything. So Wonwoo channeled his whatever the word is for beyond frustration into a solution. Wonwoo took a second to twist his voice into something that’s fairly normal and also hide his fuming and said, 

“Start over. We’ll start over” 

Mingyu opened his mouth to sputter out some semblance of an apology but Wonwoo just glared. He was tired and didn’t feel like dealing with guilty oaf at the moment. Wonwoo instead looks at the clock and realizes that they’ll have to stay during lunch to redo the lab. Wonwoo slumped into his lab chair, places his head in his hands and let out a groan. Not only had Mingyu single handedly managed to ruin Chemistry class (not to mention their lab) but he had also managed to ruin Wonwoo’s lunch time. At this rate of destruction, Wonwoo was half convinced that Mingyu wouldn’t let Wonwoo graduate high school unscathed—mentally or emotionally. 

Mingyu noticed that Wonwoo was upset, maybe even angry, so he cautiously said, 

“I reset the lab stuff. I’m not sure if it’s right but I tried.”

He waited for a response but Wonwoo just looked at him with his sharp eyes and squinted trying to see if he’s imagining things or if Mingyu was actually bearing good news for once. Wonwoo glanced up at the lab table and sees that Mingyu has managed to do something right for once. Wonwoo felt his face relax a bit and Mingyu felt a sort of curious intrigue grew in him as he watched the muscles in Wonwoo’s face relax. 

They work in silence now. Mingyu is really trying. He’s just confused constantly. He tries to follow Wonwoo’s instructions but Wonwoo speaks briefly and softly and he hears wrong and the names of chemicals get mixed up in his head and anytime he does anything he’s sure he’s messed it up. Surprisingly, Mingyu didn’t hear Wonwoo mumble to himself or groan about how bad he’s messed it up. It seemed that Wonwoo wasn’t having to waste time cleaning up after Mingyu’s mistakes… He was doing something right, at least this time, around Wonwoo. Mingyu learns by watching Wonwoo focus— something Mingyu isn’t good at. Wonwoo looked so concentrated and determined with his crisp white button up and silver glasses. Watching Wonwoo work was mesmerizing to Mingyu. There are very few things he gives 100% attention to and right now Wonwoo happened to be one of those things.

Mingyu was significantly more helpful now that it’s just the two of them, but he knows that Wonwoo is still a bit upset. And slowly they fall into a comfortable rhythm although it isn’t a perfect one. We’re talking about Mingyu—he still makes more mistakes than a high school senior probably should, but it doesn’t come in the way of their lab’s success. When they’re done, Wonwoo looked up at Mingyu and offered what looks like a smile. He noded his head and Mingyu understood that Wonwoo can’t say thank you or good job but he’s trying to. And this jittery feeling made its way into the base of Mingyu’s stomach. 

Strangely enough, Mingyu liked it and didn’t want that feeling to leave. He wanted to know Wonwoo so he decides to do something crazy. Mingyu reached into his bag and pulled out a crumpled up brown paper bag and then pulled out a decent looking ham sandwich. He looks up at Wonwoo and asked,

“Want some?” 

Wonwoo looked at the crumpled brown paper Mingyu laid on the table and realized that Mingyu’s signature was a bit of unprepared recklessness. Mingyu kept staring at him waiting for an answer but Wonwoo couldn’t really say anything back yet. His eyes are too fixed on a delicate rainbow colored yarn bracelet on Mingyu’s wrist. It’s worn and tired like most things Mingyu wears but it’s colors still remain vibrant as ever. Just as Wonwoo began pondering the bracelets meaning Mingyu interrupted him,

“You could just say no you know?” 

“Oh no um sorry. I’ll take half” 

 

Mingyu carelessly ripped the sandwich in half and handed Wonwoo the heftier half. It’s not great food or anything but it’s something. Something a lot better than cafeteria food too so Wonwoo ate, silently appreciative of the outcome of Chemistry’s events. 

Mingyu is accustomed to eating in silence. But usually, that’s because he’s eating by himself and doesn’t have anyone to talk to. Today the silence felt awkward to Mingyu. Partly because he was still all jittery on the inside and partly because he’s extroverted and just doesn’t know how to handle silences. 

Wonwoo, on the other hand, was enjoying the silent company of Mingyu. The silence let him focus on his sandwich and he can’t really complain. A small part of Mingyu can tell that Wonwoo is more than happy with the silence so he swallowed his uncomfortableness and worked on washing down his sandwich with a juice box. 

Before he knew it lunch break flies by and Wonwoo was left scrambling to put his stuff together so he could head out to class. In the rush of everything Wonwoo somehow pushed Mingyu’s backpack off of the lab table, and the contents spilt all across the floor. Mingyu didn’t really react much. He just looked at Wonwoo’s surprised face and asked

“Who’s clumsy now?” 

 

Wonwoo scoffed in response and headed toward the floor to pick up some of the contents of Mingyu’s backpack. That’s when Wonwoo found a whole collection of artwork. Some were simple sketches, like the caricature of their teacher, and others were more complicated pieces of art. There were realistic paintings of landscapes and some more abstract charcoal sketches of people. It seemed like there’s a little bit of every kind of art that Wonwoo has read about, for AP Art History of course, in Mingyu’s backpack. Wonwoo couldn’t help but look through the drawings in awe and say,

“These are actually pretty good.” 

Mingyu laughed at the surprised look on Wonwoo’s face and shrugged. He shoved the rest of his stuff in his backpack and before he spun around to leave the classroom he coyly added, 

“That's what happens when you eat lunch alone in the art room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's taken time to read/comment/bookmark/left kudos on it. It honestly means a lot and I only hope you'll like where this story goes! 
> 
> I'm just learning how to do this fanfic thing so this chapter is a lot longer than the first and most ch's will probably be this long from now on. I don't really have a schedule either but I'm going to try and post once a week. [EDIT every other week is much more feasible] We'll see how that goes. 
> 
> Once again I want to say thanks to Adrian (check her out on tumblr [@nachoshi](http://nachoshi.tumblr.com/)) for helping me with this. And if you'd like to chat or fangirl visit me on tumblr at [@bronzegyu](http://bronzegyu.tumblr.com/)


	3. Art Class Isn't Optional

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo is finally realizing he's bad at something and that doesn't sit well with him. 
> 
> Mingyu on the other hand is learning to take advantage of a second chance.

Time was starting to move more quickly for Vernon. He wasn’t doing a lot more or anything. He was just taking everything in and all of it seemed to be happening to him all at once. Now that he had a place at Glendale, something he had never had at any school before, he was letting himself experience things. Vernon was experiencing friendship, high school cliques, and the politics that came with that all for the first time. Before, Vernon had let everything happen around him. He didn’t take any initiative to do anything and no one took initiative or interest in doing things with him. But now he had a group of friends, and although he was inherently suspicious of groups or cliques or whatever they’re called, he somehow found himself in the middle of one. 

It wasn’t like Vernon was somehow now incredibly active in his high school. He still was comfortably riding around doing the bare minimum to get by. Now he had friends who playfully teased him about it. In Chemistry, instead of simply letting the lesson float past him, Vernon would casually glance in Wonwoo’s direction and make eye contact with him when Wonwoo’s lab partner was being stupid. Vernon would even take out his headphones and shuffle over to Wonwoo’s desk (which was too close to the board for his taste) to talk to him during dead time. During lunch when Vernon would casually mention the C’s and D’s he was getting, Wonwoo and Jihoon would affectionately tease him. Vernon usually insisted, 

“But technically C’s are average.” 

And Seokmin and Jun could only admire Vernon’s ability to own up to his grades. 

In these last couple weeks Vernon has gotten used to the little clique that comprises of Seokmin, Jun, Jihoon, Wonwoo, and now him. He’s picked up on everyone’s idiosyncrasies. For example, Seokmin always wore this atrocious salmon button up that made him look like he just stepped out of Sigma Nu or something. He was convinced it was totally a look and made sure to wear ito on test days. He truely beilived the “better” he looked the better he’d do on the test. And Jun was really particular about his food. As in he found no issue in stealing bits and pieces of other people’s lunch but would scream bloody murder if someone else took a bit of his. But if he didn’t get enough food that was a different story. The word hangry was made for Jun. Jihoon was lactose intolerant but refused to take lactase pills because “they’re for the weak.” So he was often stuck with dealing with diarrhea if he ate too much cheese or ice cream or any dairy really. Everyone made fun of him and his stinky shits, but he had no shame. And Wonwoo was a total pen snob. He only used a particular brand of pen and had a different color for each class. And the brand he used was hella overpriced. The pens he used are so freaking rare that he had to order them online. It’s totally bougie, but no one can talk any reason into him. The guys have figured out Vernon too. Vernon was super weird about the music he listened to. He almost exclusively listened to throwback hip hop with some contemporary rappers thrown in here and there. He also very strongly felt that headphones were superior to earbuds and would fight about it. 

Vernon’s gotten used to the lunch table and his new friends. Honestly he’s quite surprised that he let himself click with them like that. It’s a weird feeling. One that he’s never had before. But at the same time he sort of felt guilty that he slowly forgot about Seungkwan. Vernon didn’t really notice it happening but the more he hung out with the clique in the library, the less and less he saw of Seungkwan. He wasn’t sure why, but Seungkwan (who used to visit him in the mornings or would drag Vernon around to do student council stuff) is missing all of a sudden. He half expected to see Seungkwan’s face on the back of a milk carton but that only ever happens in movies so Vernon decided that’s ridiculous. Seungkwan had made himself sparse. He avoided the library and the clique and now Vernon.

Before Vernon realizes it, he forgot about Seungkwan. It wasn’t particularly hard to, with his new group of friends and all the stuff he did with them. Vernon often found himself getting dinner with Jun or Seokmin or watching movies with all of them over the weekend. He would lend an ear when Jihoon wanted to complain about his American Lit teacher, he gave Wonwoo company while he did Chem homework and Vernon copied his answers. And all of that was because Seokmin lead him into this world of high school friendship. 

Vernon’s life continues in this new found routine. His routine isn’t just making it through another day of high school. It’s now caring just a little bit about some of the kids who go there and figuring out how to do this whole friendship thing. It doesn’t come naturally to Vernon. He always feels like he’s laughing too hard at Seokmin’s dumb jokes or trying to wear something that will get a compliment out of Jun. Vernon still looks casually cool as he always has but he feels far from it. Instead of coming to school and sitting all alone at a table before class and during lunch, he now was spending his time with four guys that he’s committed to impressing, even though he can’t admit that to himself. 

It’s another ordinary day of figuring out his place in the group when Wonwoo joins Seokmin, Jun, Jihoon, and Vernon at their lunch table. Wonwoo walks to his usual seat confidently. Or at least he tries to. Wonwoo knows he shouldn’t feel nervous to talk to his friends but in that moment he did. He knew they would ask questions about where he was and what he was doing and he doesn’t really want to answer them. And just as he had predicted when he joined their table Seokmin nods a hello at Wonwoo and said, 

“Where were you yesterday?” 

There’s a certain level of expectation in Seokmin’s voice that rubs Wonwoo the wrong way. Seokmin sounded entitled to him, but you can’t really be entitled to a person can you? Wonwoo vaguely pondered that and started to get upset. He just didn’t get why him being gone for one day was a point of conversation. Wonwoo knew he was part of a clique but the dumb baggage and the weird unspoken rules only got to him that particular day. He felt as though it had something to do with Seokmin’s patronizing voice but more with the way that Mingyu had spoken to him when they were doing the lab and eating lunch together. He sounded pleasant. Nice. Friendly. The exact opposite of the way Seokmin sounded and made him feel more often than a friend should. For some reason today was the day Wonwoo realized it. And like all other big realizations it came to him all at once and hit him in the head. But he couldn’t do anything about the way he felt. I mean why mess up their established friendship this close to being done with Highschool and all. So Wonwoo took some time time to sit down and calm down before he replied,

“I just had to redo a project with my lab partner.”

There’s a certain level of nonchalance and autonomy in Wonwoo’s voice that caught Seokmin off guard. There was no apology for missing lunch the day before or any hint of regret in his voice. And that was odd.

Vernon looks at Wonwoo.Wonwoo looked exhausted and he figures it was because his lab partner was a total fool. 

“Your lab partner seems like a piece of shit.”  
“He’s not actually that bad”  
“Really? You complain about his sorry ass way too much to be saying that.”  
“I know but that’s different.”  
“How?”  
“Just whatever man.” 

Wonwoo wasn’t fucking around. His disinterested demeanor slipped for a second. And Vernon could see he meant what he was saying. He was annoyed. And Wonwoo didn’t get annoyed. He hardly ever outwardly showed how he felt about anything. He was defending his lab partner and it was totally un-Wonwoo like. Everyone was surprised at Wonwoo’s reaction but only Vernon and Seokmin picked up on how strange it was.

Vernon was a kind of offended. The kind of offended when you know you’re wrong but you can’t deal with it yet so you defend yourself while you feel heat creep up into your ears. That kind of offended. 

And Seokmin was unsettled. He felt like he was looking into the past. At something he had seen before but he couldn’t exactly place what it was. He couldn’t pinpoint the source of his uneasiness but it was there. That feeling of losing control was growing in Seokmin’s stomach and he wasn’t okay with that. He couldn’t be. 

Jihoon knew Seokmin the best. Even though he didn’t pick up on how odd Wonwoo’s behavior was. He understood it from the way Seokmin was acting. Seokmin had always been better at understanding people and the glimmer he saw in Seokmins eyes—even if it was for a second—was something Jihoon was scared to see in his best friend. 

“What’s your lab partner’s name?” Seokmin asked in his famously patronizing voice. 

“Minkyu or Mingyu or something.” Wonwoo said. 

Even though Wonwoo wasn’t sure of his lab partner’s name, his voice does not falter. There’s something stern and unforgiving in the way he’s speaking. Something almost mean. He doesn’t really understand where it was coming from or why. But he let it happen. 

Vernon isn’t stupid. He can sense the tension that arose out of nowhere and he exchanged wide-eyed glances with Jun who just shrugged as if to say that shit was normal. So Vernon being Vernon, the kind of dude who hated drama decided that he would say something to cut the tension between Wonwoo and Seokmin. 

“His name is Mingyu- like for sure” 

When Vernon said the name “Mingyu” Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon all reacted. Seokmin stiffened up and tried making eye contact with Jihoon who was trying to hide his reaction by staring at his calc homework. Jun is the only one who is able to act a little bit normal, 

“Do you mean like Kim Mingyu?” Jun asks earnestly after he noticed the nervous glances Jihoon and Seokmin had been exchanging. 

Vernon doesn’t really get what’s going on at all. Everyone is upset, but they were all trying to act like everything was fine so the suddenly tense situation didn’t blow up any more. 

“I don’t fucking know? Why are you all acting so weird?” 

Vernon saw that Wonwoo was quietly putting away his stuff and decided that he would follow him. Wonwoo noticed Vernon following his lead and sighed. He could see that Vernon had no idea what this whole friendship thing was and it reminded him of how he was before Seokmin took him in. Wonwoo wished that he didn’t understand friendship or friend groups or whatever, and he could simply be confused by it all like Vernon. 

He looked over to Jun, purposefully avoiding the gaze of Seokmin and curtly said, 

“I have to go to the counseling center,” and then he left. 

Vernon followed him till they were out of the earshot of Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon.

“What was that about?” 

“I have no idea.”

“They were acting weird right?” 

“Sure.” 

“...” 

“Look,” Wonwoo said looking at Vernon directly for the first time, “I actually have to go to the counselling center. It’ll all blow over tomorrow.” 

And with that Wonwoo walked away into the dungeon that was the counseling center. 

Like any other high school kid, Wonwoo hated the counseling center. It was a drab office in the center of Glendale. Inside the office lobby, walls were plastered with colorful posters advertising the ACT, colleges, and scholarships with unrealistically diverse groups of happy stock photo teens. It felt like fake syrupy enthusiasm was being forced down Wonwoo’s throat, and he saw right through it. 

Wonwoo didn’t choose to be in the counseling center. He was just there because his counselor had wanted to speak with him. When he walked from the lobby to meet his counselor in her office, Wonwoo was met with a hug and his counselor squealed,  
“Wonwoo! It’s so nice to see you!”  
“Thank you Dr. Hughes I was-”  
“Well I see you are totally on track to graduate but there’s one problem”  
“There’s a problem?” 

 

That’s when his counselor explained that Wonwoo needed to take an art class in order to graduate. An art class. A class where Wonwoo didn’t have any immediate talent or skill and could do little to study to catch up. Wonwoo wasn’t excited at all. He would do anything to weasel his way out of doing an art class. He would even consider taking another gym class. He simply didn’t believe in art classes. 

Wonwoo was good at math and science and school-y subjects. He’s not good at things involving creativity, and he never really thought he needed an art class, he always just figured it was a strong suggestion instead of a rule. Just like his day, Wonwoo’s senior year went from bad to worse. The only coping mechanism Wonwoo could think of was repeating fuckkk over and over again to himself as he forced his feet to move and walked to his third block. 

Eventually, Wonwoo found himself standing outside the Glendale’s main art room. He kind of just stood there staring through the open doors and looking into the art classroom. He was a bit late to class and wasn’t ready to step inside. 

This was mostly because Wonwoo had no idea how to approach this art class. In other classes, he always knew how to plan out where to sit, how to act, and who to associate with in class. But the art room was completely new territory. He was going in blind and he hated not being in control. So, Wonwoo stared at the classroom and tried to figure it out the best he could in a couple of seconds. 

The art room was set up differently and very strongly smelled of fresh paint. Which only irked Wonwoo even more because it irritated his nose. The art room was this huge studio space. It had a sort of unfinished look, with exposed pipes on the ceilings and a strange industrial feel to the entire room. The tables inside the classroom were also weird. They were tall and instead of having chairs, each table was accompanied by four uncomfortable looking stools with puke beige colored hard plastic seats. Overall it was a classroom, but the first one Wonwoo really felt completely alienated from in his entire life. 

When Wonwoo finally felt ready to walk into the classroom, he noticed all the faces he saw were a little rounder and pimply-er than he was used to seeing. The girls in the class were either wearing no makeup at all or had applied it liberally but still very poorly. And the boys all had the same basic white boy haircuts and were wearing basketball shorts. That’s when Wonwoo began to realize the true extent of the mess he was in. He was in a freshman class. And for a couple of seconds, it truly seemed like he knew no one. 

Mingyu loved being a Teacher’s Assistant (aka TA) for a freshman art class. He felt the most comfortable in the odd art classroom. Sure, the whole room was kind of crusty and imperfect, but Mingyu liked it like that. He liked the fact that, like him, the art classroom was a bit of a mess. It made him feel like he wasn’t totally useless. When he was in the art room he felt like he too could be successful. That he didn’t have to be great at math or science. That he could still be a total mess, and bring someone pleasure, and contribute to the world. Mingyu loved art and all the messy details that came with it because it reminded him that he didn’t have to be perfect to be good, he could just be himself. Even if he was a kind of a sorry excuse of a human being. 

One of the perks of being a TA is coming into class late. And Mingyu always made sure to take full advantage of that. So when he walked into art class and saw his lab partner, Mingyu was surprised. Wonwoo was sitting in the back of the classroom at a table all by himself. But he had chosen a table next to one of the only windows so he seemed to sort of be glowing. Mingyu wonders how Wonwoo of all people ended up in a freshman art class, and specifically the one he was the teaching assistant for. Mingyu was a big believer in “nothing is truly a coincidence” so his first gut instinct was that Wonwoo’s sudden entrance into his class was some sort of chance for redemption.

Mingyu really did feel bad about being a horrible lab partner. He just got nervous around Wonwoo. At first Wonwoo looked like every other cruelly smart kid he’s ever met. The kind of guy that would maliciously ruin your reputation or something if you crossed him. But after a couple days in class he figured out that Wonwoo wasn’t bad or mean. He just was uptight about his grades. And Mingyu sensed he wasn’t uptight to brag or to make a show. He felt like Wonwoo was working for something else, to forget about something or to prove something to himself. Whatever he was doing Mingyu knew that it was honest, and was anything but laced in malice. So Mingyu tried to do the best he could. But that just ended with Mingyu so hard not to mess up that he got into his own head and freaked himself out to the point that all he could do was mess up. And he felt horrible. He really did. And now he had the chance to show Wonwoo that he wasn’t a total imbecile. And he was determined to not mess that up. 

Mingyu watched Wonwoo work while he grabbed stuff out his bag and got ready to start his work. And while it was really creepy, it also helped him notice that Wonwoo was really bad at this whole art thing. 

Mingyu noticed that Wonwoo doesn’t know how to properly hold the thick round pencil’s they use in art class. Now that he thought about it, he’s only ever seen Wonwoo use pen, and clearly using this pencil was a struggle for him. Wonwoo held the pencil like a little kid learning to color holds a crayon. Wonwoo’s seemingly gentle, dainty hands just looked and moved awkwardly and as he drew he kept breaking the soft lead of the pencil. 

Mingyu suppressed a smile as he watched Wonwoo struggle at his table. Mingyu has never seen Wonwoo struggle with anything in Chemistry. He just gets it. So this experience was quite entertaining for him. To be fair Mingyu felt bad enjoying someone else's difficulty, but he couldn't help it. Mingyu got a taste of what it feels like to be better than Wonwoo and that’s never happened before. But Mingyu felt a little guilty for not helping Wonwoo, as Wonwoo had put up with so much of his shit in class, so he decided to move over to Wonwoo’s table. 

Wonwoo was so frustrated that he doesn’t even notice Mingyu walking over to him until he sets his stuff down on the table with a thud. And since he’s Mingyu, his entrance was inherently awkward. When he grabbed a stool to sit on, instead of lifting it up and moving it, Mingyu decided to drag it over so the legs of the stool made this horrible screeching sound on the concrete floors of the art room. At this point in his relationship with Mingyu, Wonwoo could only snort at Mingyu’s ability to make everything painfully awkward. 

Wonwoo tried hard not to give Mingyu much attention. He briefly stopped (trying to) draw, pushed his glasses up his nose as he looked up at Mingyu, and arched a brow as if to ask “Why are you here.” So, in turn, Mingyu explained that he’s a TA as he grabbed a large black sketch book and set it in front of himself but across the table from Wonwoo. 

At first, Mingyu didn’t want to say anything to Wonwoo. Not because it’s class and it’s supposed to be quiet, or he couldn’t think of what to say, and it definitely wasn’t because he was too scared to talk to Wonwoo. Nope. It was just because he liked seeing Wonwoo focus on drawing so hard. He was really concentrating. You could see it in the way Wonwoo’s eyes sharpened a little bit more every time he started his drawing over. And Mingyu could feel his energy from across the table. He also felt when it started to go from concentrated, to restless, to completely unnerved. 

For some reason, Mingyu couldn’t take Wonwoo very seriously anymore— even though Wonwoo was quietly going insane in front of him. Most people seemed intimidated by Wonwoo’s cold, isolating demeanor. And at first, everything about Wonwoo intimidated Mingyu too. His perfectionism, his clean cut style, even his looks. But now Mingyu can see through it all. Wonwoo isn’t totally unapproachable, you just have to wait for him to get used to you before you approach him. And Mingyu was waiting for the perfect moment to approach him. He found it when he noticed the tips of Wonwoo’s ears turning red. And he took that as his cue, 

“So you’re struggling?”

“I’m not!” Wonwoo said, the words raced out of his mouth a little too quickly and it became obvious (if it wasn’t already) that he was lying through his teeth. 

Mingyu laughed at Wonwoo’s response and he was pleased that it didn’t make Wonwoo angrier. There was something childish and competitive about Wonwoo’s frustration. And Mingyu simply liked how seriously Wonwoo took everything. It was so different than his own personality but for some reason it didn’t bother him. 

Wonwoo was really bad at art. Like worse than he thought he was. It was bad, but Mingyu’s company helped him keep going. After struggling for quite awhile, Mingyu scooted his stool right next to Wonwoo and helped him. His usually clumsy fingers perfectly demonstrated how to hold an art pencil and create the most basic lines and strokes. When Mingyu was drawing he was completely concentrated, but his concentration looked very different than Wonwoo’s. Instead of narrowing his eyes like Wonwoo, Mingyu’s eyes widened and his mouth opened the slightest bit. 

After demonstrating something to Wonwoo, Mingyu always expected him to do it too. But still Wonwoo found a way to mess it up. The slightly rude, yet always playful comments Mingyu threw at Wonwoo afterwards not only made him smile, they also helped pass the time so he didn’t feel like he stuck in that art class forever. 

It became very clear to Wonwoo that Mingyu was different in the art classroom. He seemed to loosen up and he just seemed warmer. He moved around comfortably rather than awkwardly. He wasn’t afraid to say anything, he just let words dance right out of his mouth. Mingyu seemed like less of a mess and more confident. And although almost everything about that art class sucked, seeing this Mingyu wasn’t actually stressful but was actually the opposite. 

The walk from school to Mingyu's house was quick and peaceful. Mingyu got a chance to collect himself after a long day at school during his walk. When Mingyu got home he immediately started making a snack. He was always hungry and more than ready for food. As he stood around steeping his daily cup of after school tea, he found himself toying with his rainbow bracelet. He kept moving it around his wrist and that’s when he took a good look at it and noticed that it had worn out. The colorful strings that were weaved together to make the rainbow had lost color but seemed to be spirited as ever, and the threads were starting to fray. Mingyu briefly considered making a new one before he quickly ditched that idea. The fact that it was all worn down reminded him how much time had passed and how far he had come. As he was sipping on his hot tea and taking a moment for himself, Mingyu let his mind roam and it ended up thinking more about his bracelet. He smiles a little when he realizes that although being gay is a huge part of his identity no one could visibly see it.

The only way someone could get suspicious is if they were observant enough to put together the meaning behind his rainbow bracelet. He doesn’t really expect anyone to be that savvy at his current school. His old school, the one he transferred from at the beginning of the year, was different. His old high school was in every sense wonderful. He discovered art there and and figured himself out there too. When he finally came out at his other high school, he only saw support from everyone around him, and he wondered if he could ever get that at Glendale. Even though he hadn’t changed the way he acted or anything he still felt like only a part of the Mingyu he had become at his old school. 

He caught himself toying with that rainbow bracelet for the second time that day. He figured it was a nervous tick, and usually he found he could have some solace in toying with his subtle act of resistance and out-ness. But today looking and thinking about that bracelet was only making him more nervous. The other day he didn’t say anything to Wonwoo but he was pretty sure he was staring at his bracelet. Mingyu found himself stuck wondering if Wonwoo thought it was weird. If he was weird. 

If anyone at Glendale could put it all together, it was Wonwoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super late update :/ I've been super busy with graduating and prom and all that good old senior year stuff. I'm hoping to get the next chapter up sometime next week, but I also don't want to rush and ruin the story. 
> 
> As always thank you to Adrian (check her out on tumblr[@nachoshi](http://nachoshi.tumblr.com/)) for beta-ing this. 
> 
> If you want to chat with me find me on tumblr [@bronzegyu](http://bronzegyu.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> Thank You all for reading and I hope you like this chapter!


	4. Don't Sniff Chemicals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo doesn't really understand his feelings.
> 
> Mingyu is still an idiot.
> 
> And Vernon is wondering how he got here.

Wonwoo was sitting at his usual table in the art classroom when his art teacher was walking around the classroom handing back their first art assignments. Her long, flowy hippy skirt swayed with her clunky eccentric old lady steps, and her earrings made this jingling noise as she walked around. Wonwoo got nervous anytime he saw her, well heard her (he always heard her first) hobble around him. The truth was, Wonwoo was not confident about this assignment at all. 

All the teacher had asked him to do was a basic sketch of one of those dumb fruit bowls that you could find in any art classroom. But no matter how hard Wonwoo tried, he couldn’t get it right. He spent way more time than he should have trying to draw it using the techniques they had gone over in class but it just looked strange. Something was just off. In class, he had contemplated asking Mingyu for help, but he could never bring himself to interrupt him. Mingyu was erratic and confused and lost all the time in Chemistry. But in the art Mingyu was transformed into something else completely. Everyday Mingyu would come into class, chat with Wonwoo for a little bit, and then lose himself working on sketches in his black sketch book. Every once in awhile Mingyu would take a break from drawing to talk to or, let’s be real, make fun of Wonwoo. But most of the time, Mingyu transported himself somewhere else by drawing. 

And every time Wonwoo would see that transformation happen in front of him, he was enchanted. Mingyu looked happy, no he looked content drawing. His thick eyebrows furrowed, and he stuck his tongue out when he started paying attention to details. Often a stray lock of his hair would fall across his forehead and rest just over his eyelids, and Wonwoo wondered how the hair didn’t tickle him and bother him or something. But mostly when Mingyu was drawing, Wonwoo could feel that everything fell in place for Mingyu. He seemed so in his element, and it was amazing to watch that unfold right in front of his eyes. 

The sound of his art teacher brought Wonwoo back into the real world. Whenever Wonwoo heard her get closer to his table, he got a little more anxious. He was sure his pear looked more like a potato and his banana kinda looked like a sausage. He was just hoping that in a stroke of luck he’d somehow manage to get an A on the assignment. 

When Mingyu walked into art class, a good 6 minutes late, his eyes immediately fell on a distressed Wonwoo. His elbows were propped up on their table with his head right in between his hands and he was just staring at a piece of paper in front of him. Mingyu had seen so many sides of Wonwoo but this is one he had never seen. Mingyu approached their table cautiously, wondering what had gone wrong and sat down. He peered over Wonwoo’s shoulder and what he saw was pretty freaking funny. Wonwoo had drawn, well attempted to, the worst fruit bowl thing he had ever seen. And he had seen quite a few bad fruit bowl drawings. Wonwoo’s art was particularly awful. The lines were either shaky or too strong and the colors were all off. I mean how do you mess colors up? 

That’s when Mingyu noticed that Wonwoo had started to sit up and now had his hand firmly covering up the upper left-hand corner of his “fruit bowl.” Mingyu knew what was in that corner. Mingyu’s eyes widened and his grin was began to grow when he said, 

“What grade did ya get?” 

Wonwoo should have probably expected that from Mingyu. Mingyu was at times a total child. He wasn’t subtle at all, and his whole face lit up before he said something playful. But Wonwoo didn’t want to share what he got. So he half pretended to be (and half actually was) offended and replied, 

“I am not telling _you_.” 

Mingyu was caught off guard by Wonwoo’s forceful, yet lighthearted response. So Mingyu suppressed the small smile that began to form on his lips, and instead, made a pouty face that would rival a small kid’s. He whined for a bit, trying to get Wonwoo to show him his grade. But when that didn’t work, he decided to gently poke Wonwoo in the ribs. And Mingyu got what he wanted. Like a reflex, Wonwoo’s arm moved away from his paper and for a fleeting second Mingyu saw the big fat 80% on Wonwoo’s paper. 

Wonwoo is horrified. And he made the weirdest face. His nostrils flared out and his nose seemed to flatten or something and that’s what got Mingyu to laugh. Mr. Perfect Wonwoo had finally messed something up. Mingyu kind of thought it was mean to laugh at kids who didn’t do well because he was that kid in literally every other subject. But today was an exception. Today Wonwoo had messed up. And his usually confident demeanor was replaced with one that was horribly embarrassed, and it was just funny.   
“Okay you can stop laughing Mingyu. She’s just a harsh grader.” 

“Wonwoo, a B is gracious.” 

“...” 

“I feel like I could draw better with my eyes closed.” 

“Mingyu stop making fun of me!” 

“I will if you say please.” 

“Fuck you Mingyu.” 

“Wow rude. I was going to help you..” 

“God Mingyu stop making fun of me.” 

“Say please” 

Wonwoo rolled his eyes, but gave in, 

“Please.” 

Mingyu let himself smile then. He had earned it. He had earned a real full smile. A smile where his eyes folded into little crescents that were then cushioned by the little bags under his eyes. He’d cracked the invincible Wonwoo. And his suspicion is confirmed, Wonwoo isn’t scary or mean. He’s just Wonwoo. And “just” Wonwoo was on the verge of asking him to help him with art. Mingyu just felt it. 

Wonwoo couldn’t believe that he was in that position. He couldn’t believe that he was debating whether to get help from the very guy he thought was an idiot two weeks ago. Wonwoo continued to think while he let his fingers nervously drum on the tops of the art class tables. He looked up at Mingyu, then down at his grade and once again at Mingyu. 

“Shit. What has my life come to. Mingyu will you help me?” 

“With what?” 

“I can’t believe you’re dragging this out Mingyu… With art.” 

Wonwoo looks at his horrible drawing another time and adds, 

“Clearly.” 

Mingyu is still smiling. But the mischievous grin he had been sporting quickly faded into a more   
thoughtful expression. 

“How about at lunch?” 

The next day at lunch, Wonwoo followed Mingyu to the art classroom after chemistry. To be completely fair, it was strange. Wonwoo really liked routines, and it was ingrained within him to automatically take the steps to walk to the library. Today he was making a very conscious choice to deviate from his set routine. Today he was choosing to not eat lunch with his friends. The only other time he didn’t eat with them was the time he had to redo a lab, and that wasn’t really his choice. This time it was his choice. He could have just told Mingyu no, but he didn’t. He felt almost guilty, but it was more a feeling of discomfort. He just felt uneasy deviating from the norm even though he knew his time was better spent with Mingyu. 

Mingyu and Wonwoo took the back hallways which were eerily quiet. The only thing making a sound was the numerous keychains on the Mingyu’s backpack. Wonwoo felt fine just walking in silence, but Mingyu looked really uncomfortable. He kept looking over at Wonwo and then went back down to look at his feet as he walked. 

“Why do you keep looking at me?” 

“I’m not.”

“Yeah you are.”

“Fine, I dunno you just look really serious and tense I guess?” 

“No I don’t.” 

“Yeah you do.” 

Wonwoo rolled his eyes and his lips curved upward just the slightest. Mingyu was so weird. Wonwoo had never really met someone who was honest like a child and also genuinely annoying like one too. Mingyu was open. He wasn’t afraid of saying something stupid or silly because he had the confidence to own it in his own weird way. Wonwoo had figured out that Mingyu really didn’t care what people would say about him. It was obvious in everything from the way he dressed to the way he got ready in class every morning. Mingyu didn’t care, but not in rebellion like Vernon, Mingyu didn’t care because he seemed completely content in his own skin. 

When they got into the classroom, they both sat down at their usual table by the window and pulled out their lunches. Wonwoo’s lunch was practical. It was clear that he had laid it out the night before. He packed himself a greek yogurt cup, a turkey sandwich with a nice square looking bread and a cookie. Mingyu’s lunch, on the other hand, looked like he had just grabbed whatever was laying around the house. Mingyu laid out a tupperware full of kimbap, a bag of doritos and an apple juice box. He also laid out his black sketch book. It was worn out and the edges were frayed. It looked like Mingyu had had it for years. The leather had turned soft and Mingyu had decorated it with little stickers. It looked like it was an extension of Mingyu and whatever went on inside of his head.

After they both shoveled some lunch down, Mingyu explains what they’re going over in class that day, color. Mingyu explains the importance of color in such detail it’s incredible. Once Mingyu realizes that Wonwoo is listening. And really listening, not just half listening, he becomes more comfortable. There are less umm’s and ermm’s in his sentences. Instead, he found comfort in the intensity of Wonwoo’s listening and in turn let himself go on little tangents about how good uses of color made him feel. 

Mingyu not only spoke excitedly about art, he also spoke expertly. He talked about how Van Gogh is his favorite for use of color but also talked about lesser known artists as well. When Wonwoo got confused or when Mingyu wanted to show him a painting, Mingyu quickly pulled it up on his phone and just went off. Sure, sometimes his little speeches were tangents instead of cohesive bits of pertinent information for Wonwoo’s purpose of getting better at art, but Wonwoo still enjoyed listening to him. It was fun to listen to someone talk about something they loved so much. He liked the way he could tell that art, not how good he was at it, brought happiness to Mingyu. 

Once Mingyu was done explaining the lesson, he started drawing. And Wonwoo was completely captivated. Mingyu’s ability to draw something so easily surprised him every time. His drawings were not only well drawn, they also had character to them. There was something that Wonwoo couldn’t pick up on when he looked at the drawings. Some semblance of a unique personal style maybe? Wonwoo didn’t understand art, but it was so clear that Mingyu was more talented than one should be as a senior in high school. And although he wasn’t conscious of it at the time, Wonwoo kept inching his stool closer and closer to Mingyu, to get a better view of the drawings. 

Mingyu is surprised at how much he liked having someone with him at lunch. He liked having Wonwoo hang around. All he does is listen and sit right next to him and watch intently as he draws, but there’s a different energy in the room. At first, having Wonwoo watch him made him a little nervous, but when he looked up and saw his eyes almost twinkling, he realized that Wonwoo was relaxed and uncritical. So Mingyu loosened up too. He let his pencil create bolder strokes and better drawings. He got a little more creative with color, and he was impressed with his own ability at the end of the day. 

Wonwoo watched Mingyu in silence but his mind raced with things to say,

“I wish you were like this in Chem.”

“Like what?” 

Wonwoo paused for a moment. He wanted to find the right words, 

“Concentrated and confident.” 

“Looks like you’re paying more attention to me than what I’m drawing.” 

Wonwoo didn’t know how to respond to that. He knew Mingyu meant nothing by it but he felt his cheeks heat up. Wonwoo pushed the feeling back into his body and distracted himself by watching the way Mingyu’s hands moved gracefully across his paper. After awhile he said, 

“So.. How’d you even get good at this stuff?” 

“Well I went to an art school for two years.” 

And just as Wonwoo began to wonder why Mingyu was at Glendale, their art teacher interrupted the groove Mingyu and Wonwoo were in by beginning class. Lunch period was over and class was about to start. Somehow neither of them had noticed all the little freshman trickle into class, and Wonwoo and Mingyu were reminded to snap back into reality. Only then did Wonwoo notice how close he was to Mingyu. Wonwoo quickly moved to put some space between him and Mingyu. And for the second time that day he felt a burn in his cheeks. 

Falling into a routine was easy for Wonwoo. And eating lunch with Mingyu quickly became a routine. The art room, which used to looks strange and foreign, now seemed inviting. Wonwoo noticed little things like the way light streamed into the room when the weather was nice and how it illuminated Mingyu’s already glowy skin. Before either of them knew it, the days of eating lunch together turn into weeks and everything felt less and less forced and more and more natural. And it’s not like Wonwoo had been avoiding his friends. He still sees them all the time. He just doesn’t eat with them in the library anymore. 

Although much has changed for Mingyu and Wonwoo, some things are still the same. Mingyu as usual shuffled into Chemistry just before the bell rang. But today his hoodie is up and Mingyu looks exhausted. Wonwoo snorts when he see’s Mingyu’s head bobbing trying to stay awake as the teacher explains the lab for that day. He doesn’t do anything to wake Mingyu up because he knows either way he’ll have to walk Mingyu through the lab. 

To be fair, Mingyu and Wonwoo have gotten better at balancing each other out. It used to be that Mingyu held Wonwoo back, but now they had figured each other out. They knew how to work with each other instead of around each other. Wonwoo had even figured a way to capitalize on the few things Mingyu was able to do well in Chemistry. 

The two of them had established that Mingyu was competent enough to get out all the materials required for labs so while he did that, Wonwoo would read and understand why they were doing the experiment. Mingyu, although extremely clumsy, was really good at measuring out chemicals. He figured he had lots of practice from measuring out paints and such. And since Wonwoo was able to understand the complicated science concepts he was able to easily write lab reports to turn in while Mingyu cleaned up their lab space. 

It was a beneficial symbiotic relationship. Although they contrasted in everything from skin tone to fashion sense they were able to balance each other out. They were complete opposites that somehow were perfect when they came together. 

 

“Okay, so make sure to be careful with today’s Chemicals. Just follow directions and you’ll be fine. Okay you guys can head back to your lab tables.” 

Wonwoo poked the back of Mingyu’s head, 

“Come on let’s go.” 

Mingyu woke up, yawned, and rubbed his eyes. He saw Wonwoo’s dark hair grabbing some stuff from the shelves in the back and so he just made his way to their lab table. When Mingyu tried to sit down on the stool, his butt missed the surface and ended up on the floor. 

Wonwoo heard a thud from his lab table area and figured it was Mingyu. He took his time walking over to his table, set down all the chemicals and smirked. He could tell Mingyu was exhausted and exhausted Mingyu was hopeless. 

“Did you fall down?” 

 

“Wow, you know me so well.” 

“Shut up and help me with the lab.” 

Mingyu tried to help. He had no idea what he was doing. Usually he at least listened enough to understand how to set up the lab, but today he had completely missed everything. So Mingyu decided to improvise. 

“Hey Wonwoo, Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re CuTe” 

“Oh my god Mingyu stop.” 

“Oh come on that was pretty good. I’ve been studying.” 

 

“Whatever just grab the chemical in the beaker over there.” 

“Sure I’ll do it because I’ve got my ion you.” 

Wonwoo snorts in reply and Mingyu is pleased with himself. But that doesn’t solve his problems because now he was just staring at a bunch of chemicals. He had absolutely no idea which chemical Wonwoo wanted. So Mingyu grabbed a beaker filled with this bright blue liquid and sniffed it. He had no idea why that was his solution but it was. It wasn’t a little casual sniff either. He really got in there and inhaled the fumes.

“Oh god this smells awful. Trippy..” 

When Wonwoo looks over and saw that Mingyu was smelling something from a beaker he freaked. What did Mingyu think he was doing? Like they’re chemicals. You don’t sniff chemicals that’s like _the_ rule. Before he could stop himself Wonwoo shouted across the room, 

“You dumbass!” 

But that doesn’t go as planned because even if you shout a message to one person, everyone hears it. So his teacher ended up hearing him too, and the result was that Wonwoo got in trouble for the first time in school. And while Mr. Hummel was lecturing him on how he expected more from a great student like Wonwoo, Mingyu started feeling even weirder. 

Mingyu was now struggling to stand up and barely made it back to his seat. He felt kind of light headed and thought that he really didn’t feel very good. His only option was to call out for Wonwoo even though he had just been released from his lecture and was avoiding Mingyu cause he was pretty pissed. 

“Wonwoo... I feel like I might faint.” 

“Mingyu, stop being dramatic, I don’t want to get in more trouble.” 

And as soon as those words slipped out of Wonwoo’s mouth, he regretted them. Because the next thing Wonwoo knew, he was watching Mingyu fall face first to the ground. Mingyu wasn’t kidding.

When the nurses came up to the Chemistry room and hauled Mingyu’s semi-conscious body away, Wonwoo felt super guilty about the whole situation. Sure, there wasn’t really much he could have done to prevent Mingyu from fainting, but he still felt bad. But then he remembered that Mingyu was the one stupid enough to sniff the chemical. Who even does that?

Wonwoo ended up doing the lab by himself the rest of class, and he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. He thought it was ironic that a couple weeks ago, doing a lab without Mingyu would have been the dream but now it just felt wrong somehow. He was definitely more productive working by himself, but he still missed Mingyu’s nagging and constant question asking. Even though he could find the irony of it all, it still didn’t make sense. I mean why should he miss Mingyu? He was just another classmate. They didn’t hang out outside of class. He wasn’t a friend. He was just another classmate. But somehow that felt wrong. It felt wrong to call Mingyu just a classmate because their relationship was more than that. But he didn’t know what it was. It felt like people hadn’t invented words for feeling that way about the random idiot who also happens to be your lab partner. Few things made little sense to Wonwoo and this for some reason was one of them. 

When he was done with his lab and put all the materials away, he noticed that Mingyu’s big black sketch book was sitting alone at their lab table. The nurses had taken Mingyu’s backpack to the health office but they had left his sketchbook. Wonwoo picked it up. It was heavier than it looked. Just then did Wonwoo notice that Mingyu had taped things inside of the pages. Naturally, Wonwoo was curious so he opened the book and noticed that Mingyu had sloppily written his name and a return to address in a corner. Wonwoo really wanted to look through his sketchbook but something was stopping him. Even opening the sketchbook to the first page felt like he was looking at something very private. Something that he had no right to be looking at. So he fought the urge to continue looking through it and put it in his backpack. He decided that he’d deal with it later and went down to the library for lunch. 

When Wonwoo joined the guys for lunch everyone was a bit surprised. Seokmin was the only one who didn’t seem too thrilled. He was surprised that Wonwoo had the guts to come back and sit with them after he had ditched them for a couple weeks. 

Wonwoo felt weird being down in the library. He had gotten used to lunch with Mingyu and eating with these guys just felt uncomfortable all of a sudden. It was obvious that Seokmin wasn’t happy with him. He had his eyes trained on Wonwoo, and Wonwoo could feel his judgment. Like Seokmin, Jun wasn’t happy either but he signaled it by giving a mocking sort of smile. Even Jihoon, who usually was just absorbed doing his homework, looked a bit skeptical of Wonwoo. 

The only reason Wonwoo stayed was because Vernon was there. He was looking at Wonwoo excitedly and moved his backpack off a chair so Wonwoo could sit right next to him. 

Wonwoo didn’t know what to say. The lunch table felt distant and cold and unapproachable all of a sudden. It was strange to think just weeks ago this space was the one he felt most comfortable in. Luckily Vernon wasn’t able to pick up on the strange tension at the table and said something first, 

“We missed you Wonwoo.” 

“Ha, I didn’t miss you guys.” 

Vernon laughed. He missed Wonwoo’s dry, mean sense of humor. But his laughter was cut short by Seokmin’s reply,

“Yeah, we all knew that.” 

Vernon looked at Seokmin. He was trying to tell him to knock it off but he was kind of a nobody so it didn’t work. He was so confused by his behavior. The past couple weeks that Wonwoo had been eating lunch with Mingyu, Seokmin had been getting more and more strange. 

A couple weeks ago, Wonwoo let the whole group know via their group chat he was going to be getting lunch with Mingyu so he could get help during that time. And when Vernon saw his message he didn’t think much of it. Sure he thought it was weird but that was it. The next day lunch didn’t go as he would expect at all. When he got to their table Seokmin, Jihoon, and Jun were busy talking amongst themselves. When Vernon sat down and started listening he was surprised to find that all of them were talking about Wonwoo. They didn’t fully believe that Wonwoo really needed help. They just thought he was trying to ditch them or something. Vernon found it crazy that they would even second guess one of their friends like that. I mean Wonwoo was a great guy. Wonwoo shouldn’t have to prove his friendship to them. But when Vernon asked Seokmin told him, 

“You’re reading too much into the situation.” 

And shrugged the whole thing off. Vernon really felt like he should do something. But what could he even do? Tell Wonwoo that Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon were talking trash? That would only create confrontation and Vernon didn’t like drama. So he convinced himself that he was overthinking it. He remembered the words Wonwoo had said to him a couple weeks ago “It’ll all blow over.”

But a couple weeks after hearing Seokmin’s harsh words he wondered if that was ever true. The rest of lunch was awkward. Seokmin isolated himself from the table. He was still physically at the table, but he had completely checked out and it was clearly intentional. His face was fixed with a permanent scowl and he was just scrolling through his phone. This Seokmin was the complete opposite of the usual Seokmin. The one that tells exaggerated stories and wanted all eyes on him during lunch. Vernon doesn’t know what to do. He hates this weird energy at the table so he starts asking Wonwoo about Mingyu. 

“So do you know if your lab partner’s okay?” 

“Well he went home so I’m assuming so. I don’t really know him that well.” 

Unlike Seokmin, Jun was still half participating in the conversation at the table so he asked, 

“What happened with your lab partner?”

Vernon looked at Wonwoo who let him take the lead explaining the story. 

“W-Well his lab partner erm like sniffed some chemical and passed out. It was really weird and kinda funny actually.” 

“Vernon it wasn’t really funny he could be seriously sick.” 

Vernon could hear the concern in Wonwoo’s voice. While Vernon explained the rest of the story Wonwoo looked concerned. He was listening and correcting Vernon’s story as he went on but he’s was also chewing on his lip as Vernon spoke. His eyebrows crinkled and although he looked like he was looking at Vernon, his eyes were glassed over. It was clear to everyone that Wonwoo’s mind was not really at the lunch table. But Wonwoo just couldn’t understand why. 

Vernon could see that Wonwoo was uncomfortable at their lunch table. There was this exhaustion in his eyes that he had never seen in him. But it was also easy to tell that Wonwoo had become fond of Mingyu. Notes of concern were written all over Wonwoo’s face. You could see it in the way his eyes shifted and his lips moved when he mumbled the few words he did at the lunch table. When lunch was over Wonwoo left quickly onto his next class and Vernon found himself lingering at the lunch table after everyone left. 

That’s when he saw Seungkwan. Their eyes briefly met but Seungkwan still walked away. It was like Seungkwan hadn’t recognized who he was looking at. Vernon felt like he was glued to where he was standing. How did this all happen? How had he become strangers with the guy who had welcomed him into Glendale? How had he grown into the kind of person who didn’t say anything when people were being mean to someone good?

How had Vernon gotten himself tangled in the middle of a dumb high school clique?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so fun to write. I love fluffy meanie. I'm finally done setting things up and getting to the meat of the story! I hope y'all like it 
> 
> As always thanks to Adrian [@nachoshi](http://nachoshi.tumblr.com/)) for beta-ing 
> 
> And if you want to know more about me chat (the comeback *tears*) visit me on tumblr [@bronzegyu](http://bronzegyu.tumblr.com/)


	5. A Beautiful Chaos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's wondering the same thing,
> 
> What do Wonwoo and Mingyu even mean to each other?

Wonwoo felt really unusual the rest of that day. He went to all of his classes, but his mind was blank. He was hearing things but not processing anything. He spent English class just staring at the paper he should have been working on. He wished his mind was just worried or concerned about Mingyu, but it was something more. Wonwoo was so distracted, and he couldn’t exactly pinpoint why. It would have been nice if he could have conveniently blamed his distraction solely on Mingyu fainting but it was more than just that. It was a whole bunch of things. It was the last couple weeks and it was just Mingyu as a whole. It was like his mind was fixed. 

Fixed on the general concept of Mingyu. 

Wonwoo just wanted to shake that god damn feeling off, but he couldn’t. As he walked home from school, Wonwoo didn’t listen to music as he usually did. He just walked lost in thought and watched his own two feet move about the pavement. 

Wonwoo knew that he should just go home and try to unwind, but unwinding wasn’t really his thing so he just continued to think. When he got home, Wonwoo ate a quick snack and like the overachiever that he was, pulled out his homework. Partly to do it and partly to distract himself. And as he was going through his backpack pulling out color-coded binders and textbooks, his hand stumbled upon the soft warm leather of Mingyu’s notebook. 

All Wonwoo could think was _fuck_. Even if he wanted to distract himself from Mingyu, he couldn’t. 

Wonwoo opened up the sketchbook once again and let his eyes trace over Mingyu’s ragged handwriting and saw the return address once again. That was when he figured that this feeling wasn’t going to shake off. So he did the only thing he could think of to do at that moment. He looked up Mingyu’s address and started walking. 

When he got to Mingyu’s house he was pleasantly surprised. He didn’t know what he expected, but the house he was looking at wasn’t it. It was a small old two story house. There was no way that more than two or three people could live in it comfortably. But it wasn’t run down or anything. The siding was a calm light green and the windows had cream colored shutters. The rock concrete pathway leading up to the door was clean and there was a homemade sign on the front door. The sign was clearly made years ago by a little kid and featured a little boy and his mom. The lettering underneath read “Home is where Mom is,” in both English and Korean. Although the handwriting was shakier and more childlike, it was clear that it belonged to Mingyu. 

Wonwoo smiled as he read little Mingyu’s Korean spelling mistakes, but then he remembered he was outside of Mingyu’s house. And that’s when he started to feel his palms getting kind of sweaty and noticed that they were staining the black sketchbook. 

Wonwoo had never talked to Mingyu outside of art class or chemistry. He had actually never really talked to Mingyu. What if Mingyu wasn’t home? What was he supposed to do then? How long does he even wait in front of a door for someone to answer before you give up and leave? What was the proper etiquette? Was there even etiquette for that? 

But what concerned Wonwoo more than proper waiting-in-front-of-the-door etiquette was the more frightening possibility of Mingyu’s mom opening the door. What would he even say to her? 

_Hi Mrs. Kim, I’m not really friends with your son that fainted in class today partly because of me but for some reason, I felt compelled to walk to your house and deliver his very personal looking sketchbook so I was wondering if I could see him?_

What if everything went as he wanted it to and Mingyu opened the door but he forgot how to speak and was stuck starting at Mingyu’s unkempt hair and inquisitive almond eyes? What then? He’d be totally fucked in that situation.

What made Wonwoo the most nervous was the fact that he cared. Wonwoo couldn’t figure out why it would even matter if Mingyu judged him. Wonwoo had never cared about stupid stuff like that. But he also had never paraded over to someone’s house unannounced or uninvited. 

After more than a couple minutes of awkwardly standing by the door and thinking, Wonwoo just knocked. Three times to be exact. Ringing the doorbell felt like too much commitment. 

Mingyu immediately groaned when he heard three strong knocks on the door. He didn’t want to get out from underneath all his blankets to answer the door. He felt like he deserved a break because he fainted and all. But Mingyu also knew that he was just being a lazy idiot so he got up, put on some slippers, and shuffled towards the door. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Wonwoo, his lab partner Wonwoo, standing in front of him. 

It was a cool autumn day so Wonwoo’s hair was lightly tousled but somehow it made him look even better. He was wearing a thin grey sweater with maroon stripes, and his silver-rimmed glasses made him look like a soft cute librarian or something. And that’s when he noticed Wonwoo holding his beloved black sketchbook. Mingyu’s face twisted up in confusion and panic and he started to lose control over the pitch of his voice as he said, 

“Where’d you get that?!” 

Wonwoo looked down to the black sketchbook Mingyu was pointing at while pouting like a little child and calmly responded, 

“When they grabbed your stuff after you like fainted they forgot this… so I grabbed it.” 

Mingyu felt like a complete idiot for panicking but he didn’t want Wonwoo to know, so he asked the next question that popped into his head, suspiciously as possible, 

“Okay fine, but how do you even know where I live?” 

Wonwoo looked at Mingyu, tilted his head a little, and raised his eyebrows in exasperation. Mingyu was a whole new level of stubborn and stupid. He flipped open the sketchbook to the first page, watching Mingyu’s eyes enlarge as he did, and casually pointed to where Mingyu had scribbled down a return address. 

Wonwoo lets a satisfied smirk form across his face and watched Mingyu struggle to come up with something cool to say, 

“Oh. Um yeah. That makes sense.” 

Mingyu half mumbled as he snatched the book away from Wonwoo’s hands, 

“You didn’t look through it did you?” 

Wonwoo thought it was pretty funny how worked up Mingyu got but he managed to keep a straight face and blatantly lied, 

“Mingyu, Not everyone cares about what’s in your freakin’ journal.” 

“It’s a sketchbook Wonwoo!” 

Mingyu then was just stuck staring at Wonwoo who was standing on his porch. Mingyu didn’t know what to say so he just started picking at one of the loose threads on the t-shirt he was wearing. For some reason, he couldn’t pull it together and open his mouth to say anything. So Mingyu kind of kept looking at Wonwoo and then at Wonwoo’s hair and then back down at the floor again. And in one of those moments as his eyes moved carefully but quickly over Wonwoo’s face Mingyu swore that he saw Wonwoo’s cheeks flush a sweet strawberry red color. But after a second of deliberation, Mingyu decided that it was probably just the crisp breeze and his overactive imagination. 

Wonwoo knew knocking on Mingyu’s door was a bad idea. He was starting to get kinda sweaty standing around even though it was cool outside. He was now caught looking at Mingyu who clearly was trying to come up with a polite way to tell Wonwoo to leave his house. Wonwoo cleared his throat and decided to do the work for Mingyu, much like in Chemistry class, and leave.

“Well, erm I guess I should-” 

Mingyu knew what was coming next. He knew Wonwoo was going to excuse himself and go home, but Mingyu didn’t want that to happen. Before he could think about what to say or why he wanted Wonwoo to stay, Mingyu shoved out the first words that bubbled at the tip of his tongue. 

“Do you want to come in?” 

Wonwoo considered Mingyu’s offer for just a moment. He had homework, and if he went home now, he could probably finish it that night. Although his brain was thinking one thing, his body betrayed him, Wonwoo felt his shoulders shrug and the muscles in face relax into a small smile, 

“Sure.”

The inside of Mingyu’s house was a lot like the outside. It was quaint. As soon as Wonwoo stepped into the house, he was welcomed in by the smell of a typical Korean American household. It smelled kind of like his own home but something in the air distinguished it as unique to the Kim household. There was a set of couches in the living room and a comfortable little dining table in the attached kitchen area. The walls were painted a friendly yellow color and next to the stairs there was a little wall filled with family pictures. Wonwoo stopped for a moment to look at them. 

Although they were quite typical family photos, something struck him about them. There was a picture of baby Mingyu with cake all over his face, another of Mingyu and his mom on the first day of school, and a couple awkward middle school pictures from a family trip to Korea. The photos were taken by an amateur but somehow there was this sense of life that sprung out from them. They were all tacked up lovingly with pins or bits of masking tape but it somehow worked. Like a beautiful chaos of sorts. 

Mingyu watched as Wonwoo’s eyes danced about the picture wall he had been working on with his mother and didn’t say anything. He could see that Wonwoo was taking it all in. Wonwoo tended to do that. He pretended to be disinterested in everything, but Wonwoo was one of the most curious people he had seen. It was subtle and incredibly easy to miss. But if you were paying attention, you could see it in the way he looked at things that truly interested him with a sense of wonder. It was like he listened with his eyes or something. 

Finally after a solid minute or two of just looking Wonwoo broke the silence, 

“Who takes the pictures?” 

“My dad. I think he’s pretty good.” 

Wonwoo finally looked up and over at Mingyu when he was done and then nodded, leaving a little smile lingering on his lips. 

“I see where you get your artistic eye from.” 

And that was it. Mingyu kind of lost his cool once again. He felt heat creep up in the back of his neck and settle somewhere in his face. He couldn’t handle when Wonwoo complimented him. Mingyu could already tell that a compliment from Wonwoo was rare but always heartfelt. And that made him feel some type of way. And since Mingyu was a bumbling fool, he got lost in his own embarrassment and made things worse for himself. Mingyu somehow choked on some spit in the back of his throat and started sputtering and coughing. And all Wonwoo could do was look at him in total bewilderment. While sputtering, Mingyu managed to point towards the kitchen and Wonwoo got the hint. 

He ran over towards the foreign kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets until he found a glass and filled it up with water for Mingyu. Mingyu then sat on the steps drinking the water Wonwoo brought for him and wiped away the involuntary tears produced by his eyes. Although Mingyu was probably over six feet tall and 18 years old, he momentarily looked like a pouty five year-old kid. Wonwoo just watched Mingyu chug down the water he brought and laughed to himself. What in the world was he doing? 

“Thanks for the el aqua.” 

Wonwoo rolled his eyes. Did Mingyu really just say the water in Spanish? But for some reason, Wonwoo played along, 

“Gracias?” 

And Wonwoo lost him there. Mingyu looked confused and he sat there trying to figure out what Wonwoo had just said and Wonwoo couldn’t believe he had stumped Mingyu with _Gracias_ … Eventually, Mingyu gave up and changed the subject, 

“So do you want to help me with the Chemistry I missed or naw?” 

Wonwoo nodded and let Mingyu lead him to his room upstairs. Wonwoo quickly noticed that it was very different than the rest of Mingyu’s house. Mingyu’s room was a complete mess. The walls were a nice baby blue color, but they were covered in sketches and posters. Some which barely hung on the wall and mostly looked like they were about to fall off completely. There was a large desk in the corner of the room and it was littered with mugs filled with paintbrushes, pens, markers, and every other kind of art supply imaginable. And the chair that presumably belonged with the desk had clothes strewn all over it. But that wasn’t all. On the opposite side of the desk was Mingyu’s bed. It was a standard twin sized bed but it had a totally abnormal amount of clothes piled on it. With closer inspection, Wonwoo noticed the clothes were the same couple t-shirts, sweatshirts, and jeans that Mingyu rotated through in a standard week. Wonwoo’s suspicion confirmed. Mingyu only had four or five real outfits that he’d wear. He just mixed and matched different pairs of pants with different t-shirts so his outfits weren’t predictable.

All Wonwoo could think was _of course_. Of course Mingyu’s room was the messiest thing he had ever laid his eyes on. I mean, it was Mingyu, and he was the closest thing to a human form of a mess. Wonwoo just watched as Mingyu shoved the clothes on his bed to one side, sat down, and motioned for him to sit down next to him. Wonwoo rolled his eyes and moved to sit down, 

“Can you even see the floor in here?” 

“You should be proud, it’s usually messier than this.” 

Wonwoo guffawed and stared at Mingyu with the most judgmental look he could muster. He was spending his Friday afternoon with a complete idiot. And although Mingyu was an idiot, there was something admirable in how stupid he could be. Wonwoo thought that the way Mingyu’s room reflected his personality was so irritatingly dumb that it was actually brilliant. Like Mingyu, the room was messy and unorganized but there was something unique within it all. Mingyu was unashamed in every sense of the word. He was unashamed to take Wonwoo into his messy room and Mingyu was unashamedly himself around Wonwoo. In that moment, as he was staring at how horribly messy Mingyu’s room was, Wonwoo figured out what he liked most about Mingyu. It was his ability to be himself all the time and his audacity to be proud of it too. 

Mingyu and Wonwoo started studying as soon as they had found a comfortable way to sit next to each other on Mingyu’s bed. Wonwoo hadn’t brought any of his studying stuff so they were stuck sharing Mingyu’s ratty textbook. Although Mingyu’s textbook should have been in pristine condition because Mingyu never used it, it looked rough like it had been through hell and back. Wonwoo just sighed when he laid eyes on it and tried to teach Mingyu the lesson. Even without his color-coded notes, Wonwoo unsurprisingly was not lost and was able to teach Mingyu the lesson exceedingly well.

And although he was able to teach the lesson, Wonwoo would be lying if he said he was completely focused. He was so close to Mingyu. Although they were supposed to be sitting next to each other, Mingyu had loosened up, relaxed into his bed, gradually moved closer, and molded right into Wonwoo. Mingyu was closer to Wonwoo than Wonwoo was used to people being, but he didn’t exactly mind it. He got to see how rich and glowy Mingyu’s skin was up close without sunlight illuminating him or anything. He could smell Mingyu too. He smelled clean. Like fresh soft linen, and blankets and what Wonwoo thought little ducklings would smell like. 

Sometimes Mingyu’s knees would brush up against his legs or their hands would accidentally meet as Wonwoo pointed toward his textbook and explained a concept to Mingyu. And even though Wonwoo’s body would pull away quickly and react, Mingyu didn’t notice anything. 

Mingyu had no sense of personal space so their proximity didn’t faze him at all. He kept on plugging away at his work as Wonwoo nervously stiffened when Mingyu reached over him to grab a pencil or moved in closer to get a better look at the textbook. 

Eventually, Mingyu got tired of leaning over Wonwoo to get a better look at the textbook so he lifted the book and put it right in between the two of them, half of the book rested on his thigh and the other half on Wonwoo’s. Wonwoo was hunched over explaining how to do some sort of Chemistry problems and Mingyu was trying to follow along. But Mingyu was actually just watching Wonwoo write formulas and plug in numbers on his own paper. Mingyu noticed that Wonwoo’s handwriting was oddly like Wonwoo himself. It was long and wiry and looked absolutely intellectual. It didn’t take long for Wonwoo to catch that Mingyu was not paying attention. He almost never did. So to test him Wonwoo asked, 

“Have you looked up anymore Chemistry pick up lines?” 

And without thinking, Mingyu responded, 

“I’ve been meaning to but I-” 

And that’s when Mingyu realized Wonwoo was just kidding. Mingyu’s face went red and he sat there making weird gurgling noises in embarrassment instead of finishing his sentence. And Wonwoo just laughed. It was a deep heartily laugh. Laughter that came from his stomach and filled their little bubble with light, unfiltered silliness. And as Wonwoo laughed, Mingyu just looked on and smiled, eventually breaking out into his strange sporadic giggles. When they had both stopped laughing Mingyu asked, 

“Can I try on your glasses?” 

“If you promise not to crack them again.”

“Okay, that was an accident. I even told you that I’d pay-”

“Mingyu, calm down, I was kidding.” 

Wonwoo was amazed at how easy it was to push Mingyu’s buttons. He was so easily fooled. All it took was a serious look (Wonwoo was great at those), a couple pointed words, and Mingyu would get childishly defensive. Wonwoo grinned as he watched Mingyu’s face melt into the realization that Wonwoo was just joking. Mingyu then looked at Wonwoo expectantly, signaling that he was waiting for Wonwoo to hand over his glasses as though he had a birthright to them. Wonwoo picked up on Mingyu’s nonverbal command and complied. But instead of taking his glasses off and handing them over, Wonwoo took them off, made a show about cleaning them off, and carefully slipped the delicate silver frames on Mingyu’s face himself.

Mingyu’s fell into a slow hot burn as soon as Wonwoo started moving in closer to him. Although he was not really religious, Mingyu was praying that Wonwoo didn’t notice the sweat trickling from his forehead or the heat radiating off his face. They were sitting next to each other so Wonwoo’s body was twisted at a weird angle when he placed the glasses on Mingyu’s face. But that angle gave Mingyu a really good look of Wonwoo’s face up close. This was the first time Mingyu had noticed that Wonwoo had puffy light grey spots of discoloration under his eyes. It only made sense that being a hardworking know-it-all came with the obvious side effect of low sleep. But Mingyu was mostly concerned with how blind Wonwoo really was. He couldn’t see anything through those glasses, and his head was starting to hurt trying to make sense of the world with heavily prescribed lenses. 

“Wonwoo you’re blind as fuck.” 

Wonwoo had already started to squint. He couldn’t see anything without his glasses and although he prided himself in being a logical person, he was sure that squinting when he didn’t have glasses on helped him hear better. Mingyu caught him squinting and looking confused and figured out that Wonwoo couldn’t see what him.

“I know I’m slow but I’m pretty sure squinting won’t help you see me Wonwoo.” 

“Yes it will.” 

“No it won’t.”

“Fine.” 

“I have a theory.”

“Yeah?” 

“Well, so my theory is that squinting helps people hear better when they take their glasses off because they can see the other person's lips move and like lip read.” 

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard in awhile.” 

Mingyu said smiling as he pulled the glasses off his face and dangled them in front of Wonwoo’s face for him to take back. 

Dangling from Mingyu’s hands was not only Wonwoo’s trademark glasses but also Mingyu’s trademark wrist accessory. That proud, embroidered, rainbow bracelet. Wonwoo couldn’t take his eyes off of it. It was just there. Like it was a part of Mingyu. Something Wonwoo couldn’t yank off even if he tried. 

Mingyu noticed that Wonwoo was staring at his bracelet. The twinkle in Mingyu’s eyes started to fade as he watched Wonwoo’s eyes harden into a cold uninviting stare. The staring was different than the looking he had done earlier. It wasn’t like when he was absorbing the pictures on that wall or the mess of his room. He was just staring now. Really staring. Something in Wonwoo’s eyes and general demeanor had shifted. Something had shifted and shut off. His pupils had gotten bigger but not with surprise, with something else. Something unidentifiable. That something made him look small. Like he was a little kid abandoned in a public place that was too afraid to say something. It looked like the words were just floating underneath his breath but they physically couldn’t come out. Wonwoo looked stuck and maybe even a little bit afraid of what would come out of his mouth if he said something. Slowly, Wonwoo raised his head, but he couldn’t look into Mingyu’s eyes. So his eyes lingered around Mingyu’s nose, and he tentatively asked, 

“Is that like a gay thing?” as he motioned at Mingyu’s wrist. 

Mingyu didn’t know why, but it hurt when Wonwoo wouldn’t look at him. It was like an empty hollow punch in the base of his stomach. 

“Would it be bad if it is?” Mingyu asked, but it came out as more like he was pleading. 

Wonwoo could hear the disappointment in Mingyu’s voice. It was raw and genuine and sad. It was the worst kind of tone. Wonwoo felt his face slip into surprise as he rushed to get the next words out of his mouth, 

“Oh no, no no… it’s uh… it’s fine.” 

Mingyu knew it was anything but fine. 

Wonwoo can physically feel Mingyu moving away from him. He no longer feels Mingyu’s knees on his legs, and in a matter of seconds, he’s put a considerable amount of space between their bodies. Wonwoo know’s he should feel bad or guilty, but he doesn’t. He just felt numb. Like he was watching everything happen instead of living it himself. Things are just happening. His high-speed brain feels like slush. He can’t feel his mind move or his brain think, but he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. It didn’t buzz or make a sound or anything. He just grabbed it and once again looked at Mingyu, unable to meet his eyes. And he started lying. It wasn’t deliberate per say but it didn’t really matter because it was still cruel. 

“So I gotta go, my mom wants me home.” 

“Oh… but we didn’t even get a chance to finish?” 

“Well yeah but.. I have to run so I’ll text you later?” 

Mingyu knew he was lying. 

“Sure,” Mingyu barely choked out. 

Mingyu didn’t even bother to show Wonwoo out of the door, he just made Wonwoo let himself out. Just as Wonwoo chose to lie to him about his mom or whatever, Mingyu chose to let him leave. That was on Wonwoo.

Even though he let Wonwoo make a choice, Mingyu didn’t really have one. He was frozen in place and he didn’t have the energy to do anything but watch Wonwoo walk out. He wanted to pretend like watching Wonwoo walk out of that door didn’t affect him in any capacity but he would be lying. It wasn’t like a new pain either. It was one that he had felt countless times. It was the kind of pain that could be easily forgotten but when it came back, there was no threshold or tolerance left behind to protect you. It hurt as much as it did the first time, every time. And for some reason, it coming from Wonwoo just made it hurt even more.

It’s 2017. Gay marriage is legalized in the United States. It should be a no-brainer by now. Him being gay shouldn’t mean he’s weird or different or anything. He’s just Mingyu. Homophobia and close-mindedness shouldn’t stop him from making friends. He should be able to befriend anyone without worrying about his sexuality. He should be able to worry about the normal things like if his outfit is weird, or if his music taste is strange, or what he’s going to major in. He shouldn’t have to worry about if his existence is fucking okay with people. He shouldn’t have to sit around worrying that the closest thing he has to a friend is homophobic piece of shit. He shouldn’t have to watch someone he genuinely liked, who was just sitting next to him on his bed ten minutes ago, get up, lie, and walk out because he was uncomfortable at the thought that he was gay. 

It just wasn’t fair. This isn’t what he fought for. He didn’t transfer to an art school and leave his mom to come back as someone who was proud to be gay but then feel this shame once again. He didn’t lose two years with his mom, the woman who threw away part of her traditional Korean family to accept her gay Korean son, to come back and have his feelings hurt by a close-minded straight boy who didn’t get it. 

But Mingyu also didn’t come back to make friends. He came back to spend time with his wonderful, supportive mother before he left the house to go off to college. Wonwoo was just his lab partner, _no_ he was just a classmate at the hellhole of homophobia that was Glendale. Wonwoo was nothing special and Mingyu couldn’t let him be. 

Mingyu had to focus. He needed to look at the big picture. Just a couple more moths of the same shit. He just had to make it through this year. He couldn’t afford to leave roots and tangle himself in stupid high school friendships. Wonwoo was a distraction. He was just another lab partner. Nothing else and nothing more. 

Seokmin had been stuck at the lunch table since the afternoon. He wasn’t sure why he made a point to be rude to Wonwoo. He got that his words were harsh and probably unnecessary but he didn’t regret speaking to establish his annoyance with Wonwoo. Seokmin, to put it simply, was mad at Wonwoo. He didn’t understand why Wonwoo felt like he could leave their lunch table for some fake sounding tutoring situation and come back whenever he felt like it. That’s not how friendship was supposed to work. 

He didn’t like the fact that Wonwoo acted like he was disposable. Wonwoo acted like he could try on his friendship with Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon and take it off like dirty clothes when he was tired of it. Seokmin expected everyone to be completely loyal. It was like this weird power high that he got. He just needed people to be committed to him at all times. It was a dumb primal instinct. Probably one that stemmed from insecurity. But insecurity didn’t really justify being a douchebag. 

Seokmin wasn’t built from all bad bones. Part of him knew he was being dumb, so he fought with himself and decided that he’d at least go over to Wonwoo’s house and try to hang out with him. Their group got into petty little skirmishes all the time. Seokmin was used to icing people and not talking to them for weeks and create a bit of a stir before he fixed it all. He usually did that by hanging out with the person and pretending like it never happened. It was easy to move on if you pretended like nothing happened in the first place. 

Seokmin walked over to Wonwoo’s house. It was just a block or two away, and he had made that trek thousands of times. Seokmin’s feet fell into a familiar pattern as he walked. He took his time thinking about what he should and what he could say to Wonwoo. And before he decided, he found himself standing infant of Wonwoo’s house. 

He took his time walking up to the door. He wasn’t sure if he should text Wonwoo and let him know that he was at his house or if he should just go up to the front door. He decided that he would rather surprise Wonwoo. It was a Friday night so Seokmin knew Wonwoo would be home. He straightened out his shirt, prepared what he was going to say, and rang the doorbell.

When the door opened, Seokmin was the one surprised. Wonwoo wasn’t standing at the door waving him in like he had pictured. Instead, he was met by Wonwoo’s mom. Unlike Wonwoo, she wasn’t reserved and cold, she was the exact opposite. She smiled a warm smile and said, 

“Hi Seokmin! Wonwoo isn’t here sorry.” 

Seokmin looked at her confused. It was a Friday night, Wonwoo never did anything. He was always at Seokmin’s disposable. Where could he even be? 

“Oh, where is he?” 

“I think he’s hanging out with this one kid named Mingyu? I’m sure you know him.” 

“M- Mingyu? Like Kim Mingyu?” 

Suddenly Seokmin’s mouth went dry, and the color drained from his face. He hadn’t spoken Kim Mingyu’s full name in a long time. It felt like he was using a dirty word for the first time. Seokmin had pretended like Kim Mingyu didn’t exist because it was easier to move on that way.  
Wonwoo’s mom took a minute to think about the name and responded brightly, she didn’t want Seokmin to notice that she had sensed his change in demeanor, 

“Yes, I think that’s the kid. I love that all you Korean boys hang out together.” 

“Yeah... thanks Mrs. Jeon. I’m going to head out.” 

Seokmin walked home quickly now. He wasn’t sure what to do or how to react. Was he supposed to get stuck in the past or move forward? 

All Seokmin knew was that things were going to be different now that Kim Mingyu was back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last couple weeks have been insanely busy, I graduated high school (finally), went to a wedding and I'm now getting ready to go to India for the summer. So this chapter is later than I wanted it to be, but to make up for it this chapter is also kinda long. 
> 
> If you're interested in mood music for the story so far you can check out this playlist I made [here](http://suan.fm/mix/10s4NfX).
> 
>  
> 
> Tumblr: [@bronzegyu](http://bronzegyu.tumblr.com/)  
> Beta: [@nachoshi](http://nachoshi.tumblr.com/)


	6. Simpler Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu gets caught up in old memories, and Wonwoo realizes how sometimes not thinking about stuff leads to unnecessary complications.

When Mingyu’s mom came home that night, the house was silent. The house wasn’t usually bustling, but when she entered the house, there was little trace of Mingyu’s presence. It was subtle, like the sugary pop music Mingyu played while working on sketches, or maybe the sound of food being prepped for their dinner. Mingyu typically came down from his little art studio/room on Fridays and greeted his mom with a sarcastic comment, or if he was in a good mood, a fresh homemade cup of coffee. But when she came home that day, she was only greeted by a quiet house, and when Mingyu was around, things weren’t quiet. She climbed up the stairs and peeked into Mingyu’s room and saw that Mingyu was laying on his bed face down with his covers over his head. Mingyu was pretending to sleep, but she knew that he wasn’t actually sleeping. 

“Mingyu,” she said, softly placing an arm on Mingyu and gently shaking him to get up. Concern was written all over her face. In the little wrinkles cushioning her smile and the exhaustion that colored the unders of her eyes a light grey. She had been worried about Mingyu for awhile. The transition back to Glendale was something that made her nervous to her as a parent. She didn’t want Mingyu to get hurt again but she also wanted him to be with her for one last year before college. The last couple weeks she had noticed that Mingyu seemed happier, lighter even. He wasn’t complaining about Chemistry as much, he was in a generally pleasant mood. That was why his sudden dip in his mood concerned her so much. 

When Mingyu felt his mother's delicate hand gently shaking him he immediately moved to get up out of the little cocoon he had built with the blanket around himself. He could hear the worry in her voice and he hated it. He knew that she had been worried about his transition to Glendale so he tried to act as if everything was normal. When he replied, he faked a tired grogginess in his voice, one that part of him knew his mother would easily see through. 

“Mmmm... yeah Ma?” 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Mingyu said a little too quickly, he let a break fall in between his words and then added, “-just tired is all.” 

Mingyu’s mom could see through her son immediately. She heard it in the rhythm of his voice and the way he sped up as the words well out of his mouth. 

 

“Mingyu, I’m not stupid. I’m your mother I _know_ that you always curl up like this when you’re upset.” 

Mingyu didn’t know what to say next. How could he tell her that the only person he liked at that stupid school he chose to come back to against his mother’s words was hurting him? How could he say that sometimes he hated being gay because it hurt? How could he look at his mom and tell her that he was feeling a weird sort of ache in his chest because a boy called Wonwoo left their house? 

He didn’t know how to say any of that so Mingyu just looked at her with his big almond shaped eyes and hoped she would understand. His mom kept looking, no searching for what was wrong in his eyes. And finally when she saw it, her face slipped and she asked, 

“Did you see those boys again? From freshman year?” 

She waited for Mingyu to answer but his eyes just dimmed some more and Mingyu’s mom scrambled to say something. The words that came out of her mouth were rushed and hurried and although she had tricked herself into thinking they were coming out of her mouth to make Mingyu feel better, she was really saying them to calm herself down. 

“Mingyu, we knew this was going to happen. We should have just kept you at the other school. I understand that you missed me but-” 

“No, Ma it’s not that… I just was thinking about freshman year is all.” 

He felt better when he saw his mother’s eyes fall into a sense of understanding, but he could still see glimmers of uncertainty and unease in them. So Mingyu forced himself to fake a soft, sad kind of smile and said, 

“I just need a minute, I’ll take a shower and then come down in a bit and we can make dinner or something okay?” 

Mingyu’s mom finally nodded and stood up from the base of Mingyu’s bed where she had settled. Mingyu listened for the click of his door being shut and then grabbed some pajamas and headed off to take a shower. As he stood under the warm water trying to distract himself by reading the label of the facewash he had been using since forever, the only thing his mind could focus on was freshman year. 

***

Freshman year was a simpler time. Back then Seniors were still scary, navigating the halls was more difficult than it should have been, and no one worried about what they were going to do with their “future.” It was a time when school events weren’t a burden, homework still seemed optional, and putting together a nice outfit for school was essential. Freshman year things were easily split into simple dichotomies— upperclassman or underclassman, cool or uncool, friends or enemies. Optimism hadn’t been confronted with harsh real world experiences, ideas hadn’t become jumbled, confused, and then carefully molded into nuanced perspectives. And life seemed to move slowly and simply. 

Freshman year Mingyu was, in many ways, the same person that he was his Senior year. His fashion sense had always been horrible. Mingyu showed up to school as if the uniform was horrendous graphic tees and straight cut jeans. He stood a couple inches over the majority of kids in his grade, and occasionally he would even get mistaken for an upperclassman until his sly, mischievous smile gave away his age. It was a carefree, fun-loving smile. A smile that wasn’t concerned with what people would think or how to act. Mingyu carried that smile and himself with the kind of confidence that was usually only found in boringly attractive blonde boys with blue eyes, but Mingyu, even back then, was memorable. His confidence wasn’t annoying or dismissive— it was unique. His confidence came off as friendly and inviting. Partly because Mingyu was silly but mostly because it was easy to see that Mingyu, even with his good looks and stature, was hopelessly and helplessly human. 

Mingyu could have been one of the most popular kids at Glendale if he wanted to. Even though he was Asian, he could have broken the race barrier in popularity at the almost all white High School that was Glendale. But all that popularity stuff went over Mingyu’s head. His whole world back then consisted of four people that met he met every day in the library for lunch. 

It was Mingyu’s idea to start eating lunch in the library. Mingyu had this weird sort of geniusness that allowed him to find simple solutions that no one had thought about before. Mingyu decided they had to find a new spot to eat because the cafeteria was too crowded and eating outside came with the high risk of bugs, so when Mingyu found out food was allowed in the library, he convinced all his friends to eat in there. At first, Mingyu and his friends just spent time in the library eating lunch, but slowly they started meeting there to review for tests before school started, and in between class to print stuff off, and eventually the library morphed into their spot. It was convenient. Never too crowded, never too loud, and always inviting.

When Mingyu walked into the library on a typical Friday it was exactly like that. It was the perfect spot. When he saw his friends were settled at their usual table, he gave then a quick nod and made his way to take a seat next to one of them. His friend was a bit shorter than Mingyu, but he had similarly tanned skin and a long curved nose. He had a habit of making bad jokes and laughing at himself, and when he did, his eyes naturally folded into little crescent shaped creases. 

Mingyu pulled out his lunch box and laid out the contents the table. He and his friends always shared their lunches. Sometimes Mingyu just wasn’t in the mood for barbeque chips so he’d trade for canned fruit or something. But today as he scanned everyone else’s lunches he noticed that there were only three lunches laying out on the table instead of the usual four. 

“Seokmin, where’s Jun?” 

Seokmin shrugged and Mingyu looked across the table at their other friend Jihoon. He was a short, baby-faced sort of guy, one who often got mistaken for a middle schooler when he went out and about with Mingyu, Seokmin, and Jun. Jihoon sighed and quickly explained what happened to Jun. 

“He got caught cheating in class, so he’s in lunch detention.” 

Mingyu let out an exasperated laugh. Just that morning Mingyu had tried to talk Jun out of cheating during his History test. He knew that Jun didn’t have what it took to pull it off. 

“I don’t care if you cheat Jun, but you’re not smooth enough to get away with it” 

“Me? Not smooth?” 

“Jun don’t be stupid.” 

“Oh I’m not stupid, I’ll cheat and I’ll get away with it and when I do you owe me a Coke.” 

“Fine, and if you get caught I want some of that Chinese stir fry stuff your mom makes.” 

“Deal.” 

Woozi rolled his eyes as he watched Mingyu and Seokmin laugh. He had won the bet this time and he knew that Mingyu wasn’t going to let it go. He knew that Mingyu would bring it up multiples times today at lunch and for like three lunch periods after that too. He was a bit of a gloater, but after being friends with Mingyu and the rest of them for years, well since middle school, Jihoon was used to it. He only continued to watch Mingyu and Seokmin for a couple more minutes and then he shifted his attention back to his homework that was laying on the lunch table beside all the food. 

When Mingyu noticed that Jihoon was focusing on his homework, he stopped laughing and asked, 

“Jihoon, finals are in two weeks why the fuck are you studying?” 

“Yeah,” Seokmin added following Mingyu’s lead, “it’s a Friday we should be chilling at the mall or something.” 

Woozi grumbled. He knew that Seokmin and Mingyu would try to convince him to go to the mall so he acted quickly. 

“If you guys let me work on homework now I’ll consider going there with you tonight.” 

Mingyu smirked at Seokmin in victory, who in turn raised his hands to high five Mingyu. Getting Jihoon to agree to do anything with them was a victory. Although their whole group knew Jihoon didn’t mind being dragged along to social events with them, when he himself volunteered to do something they all would get giddy. 

Mingyu loved his friends. Jihoon was a quiet introverted ass, Jun was totally full of himself, and Seokmin was super awkward in social situations, but they all were cool dudes. At first glance their friendship didn’t make sense. They were all so different but when they came together they just clicked. Everyone in the group balanced each other out. 

At the beginning of freshman year, Mingyu had convinced all of them to take part in one of his stupid ideas. Mingyu had proposed it to them over the summer and none of them took him seriously. But when Mingyu called them up on a random Tuesday night reminding them of his brilliant idea of bringing their bikes to school so they could ride down the big steps in front of the school, they were all in. Well, they had to spend some time convincing Jihoon, but Mingyu was persuasive. It was decided that Mingyu and Jun would ride their bikes down the steps while Jihoon and Seokmin would cheer them on and record everything. Jihoon pretended to be very against the idea but in reality, was eager to watch his best friends do something stupid. 

The next morning when Jihoon got to school with Seokmin he laughed when he saw Jun and Mingyu. They were scared shitless, but Jihoon reassured them by telling them they would be cowards if they backed out now. Mingyu guffawed at the idea that they were cowards and shoved a first aid kit in Seokmin’s arms before he got on his bike. Seokmin then counted off, as per Mingyu’s instructions, and on three he and Jun bumped down the steps. 

Mingyu didn’t think it would be _that_ scary to go down the steps when he proposed the idea. But in the moment when he was actually doing it, he was terrified. He had absolutely no control over his body or his bike and all he wanted to do was scream. But he was so frightened that he couldn’t make a sound. The only thing he heard was the steady thud of their bike tires against the hard concrete steps. When their bikes finally rolled to a stop, Mingyu felt like he had aged and Jun looked like his eyes were going to roll right out of his head in shock. Seokmin cheered in glee and high five-ed both Mingyu and Jun. Jihoon let a smile slip and even muttered a good job to the both of them. 

On that particular Friday at lunch, Mingyu was reminded of that weird Tuesday at the beginning of Freshman year. It was one of those memories that came back out of nowhere but all at once. And as Mingyu sat there thinking his breathing slowed, and his face raised into a peaceful smile. His friends were his world. He wasn’t sure what he’d being doing without them.

Jihoon was his voice of reason. He grounded Mingyu. He reminded him when he had homework, when he needed to be responsible, and when his antics were going too far. Jun was Mingyu’s perfect accomplice. He was equally reckless, more egotistical, and always a good time. He was the only person Mingyu knew who was stupid enough to agree to take part in his shenanigans.

And Seokmin was well, Seokmin. Seokmin was the guy Mingyu called up at 11 the night before a test to rant about it instead of taking time to study. He was kind and caring and silly and Mingyu’s best friend. 

Mingyu could point out the exact day that he realized that Seokmin was his best friend. It was sometime during the summer of 7th grade. Mingyu told Seokmin over the phone that he couldn’t come out to play soccer like usual but Seokmin figured out he was lying. Half an hour later Mingyu heard a doorbell ring and when he grabbed the door Seokmin was standing there. Mingyu let him in and and for a couple seconds Seokmin didn’t say anything. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Two words. That’s all it took for Mingyu to realize that Seokmin was his best friend. Mingyu couldn’t say anything so for a bit he just blubbered “sorry” because he knew Seokmin had caught his lie. But when he was done with that Mingyu saw that Seokmin didn’t care. Seokmin could feel that something was wrong and he wanted to help. Eventually after a failed attempt of pretending like everything was okay, Mingyu told him that his parents were getting divorced. It wasn’t a messy divorce, but Mingyu was still heartbroken and confused. And Seokmin responded to that perfectly. He didn’t tell him that his parents would get back together, or that some things were just meant to be. Instead, he skipped the soccer game with Mingyu and cared with every fiber in his body.

***

Wonwoo knew that running away from problems wasn’t a good strategy, but it was his only strategy. He had never done anything but run away when things got too tough. Luckily that never happened in school because Wonwoo was exceptionally intelligent. But being that smart did have a drawback, he had no idea how to act in difficult social situations. He hated the way heat would crawl up and settle into his face or how he lost control over his ability to form words. He just hated feeling like he couldn’t control the outcome of an interaction. He hated putting himself out there and hoping that whoever he was talking to would approve of him. It made him feel so weak and helpless. He had managed to worm his way into Seokmin’s friend group without feeling any of that somehow. But with Mingyu. he felt all of those things and more. And the strangest part about all of it was that he didn’t mind putting himself out there, all raw and uncensored, when he was with Mingyu. 

But he still ran away. 

With Mingyu, Wonwoo just felt good. He couldn’t put it any other words. Just good. 

No matter how much he tried to deny it, Wonwoo liked his friendship with Mingyu. He liked being able to talk someone without worrying about saying the right thing. Mingyu wasn’t like his other friends. With his other friends he had to keep up with the image he had created for them. He had to be uptight and annoyingly concerned about his grades. Wonwoo felt like he had to stay closed off to them because all they saw when they looked at him was a cool but cold grade grabber. Wonwoo didn't want to and couldn’t bring himself to open up to them because they didn’t want to see him. They never even tried. But Mingyu did. When Mingyu looked at him his gaze expressed so much. It was curious and excited and Mingyu was trying to really see him. Wonwoo could feel that in the air that enveloped him when he was with Mingyu. It was easy to be uninhibitedly himself. 

Having a friend like that was rare, and Wonwoo had just ruined his chance at that. 

And no matter how Wonwoo replayed what happened at Mingyu’s house earlier that day, he came out looking like a homophobic dick. Every time he thought back to Mingyu’s face as he left his house his heart sank deeper and deeper into his body. When Wonwoo closed his eyes, all he could see was Mingyu’s usually lively face contorted in disappointment. And that look was his fault. He made Mingyu feel like that. He was the one who twisted his face into that. That was on him. Wonwoo felt nauseous when he thought about how he must have made Mingyu feel. Mingyu was probably sitting around feeling hurt that this guy who he thought was his friend was offset by the fact that he was gay. 

But did Wonwoo even have any right to think that Mingyu was hurt because they were friends? I mean they weren’t really friends yet. They had just started hanging out. Mingyu didn’t even invite Wonwoo over to his house. Mingyu was definitely hurt but he probably didn’t like Wonwoo, or think of him as anyone but a peer that he saw at school. He probably only thought of him as the creepy stalker who came to his house to give him a notebook instead of waiting a couple days like a normal person. 

It was only when wallowing in his own misery that Wonwoo had realized that he’d never had to think about gay people in his entire life. He had lived in such a straight environment that for the first time Wonwoo was wondering if being gay was okay? Wonwoo turned around the idea over and over in his head. And anyway he thought about it seemed like being gay was not wrong. It was just a matter of love. It seemed like something people couldn’t change about themselves. Wonwoo wasn’t brought up in a super conservative environment where anyone had taught him that being gay wasn’t okay, but no one had ever taught him it was okay either. 

Wonwoo was raised in the Midwest. People were really nice to everyone but being gay was one of those things no one talked about because it might bring out some not so nice opinions. People just stayed away from talking about stuff like that. It was just one of those topics that no one spoke about. Like how no one ever talks about when someone farts in a crowded room. And due to that environment, Wonwoo had conveniently pushed the whole gay thing to an undisturbed corner of his brain where it remained untouched.

But all of a sudden Wonwoo had to think about it. At least for Mingyu. He owed at least that much to him. And no matter how he looked at it, he couldn’t think of a logical reason how being gay wasn’t okay. It was just like how Wonwoo didn’t really choose to get through High School without having a proper crush on any girls either, it just happened. He couldn’t change that about himself. And how did Mingyu being gay change anything? It’s not like Mingyu had a crush on him. They were just friends. And who Mingyu was attracted to didn’t change anything. Wonwoo was fairly certain that gay didn’t just like.. rub off. To Wonwoo it was like cat people versus dog people. Some guys like puppies and some like kittens. Just like that some guys like guys and some like girls. And as he was thinking, Wonwoo couldn’t help but let a certain thought rise from that deep undisturbed corner in his brain. 

_”I mean isn’t everyone a little attracted to guys anyway?”_

***

That was Jihoon’s last straw. He said that he would _consider_ going to the mall with them. He didn’t tell Mingyu that it was a good idea to sneak out of class and call their whole group out of school. Jihoon was standing in the packed Glendale parking lot with Seokmin and Mingyu. The three of them were waiting for Jun who was probably loitering in the halls. Jihoon’s face was red with frustration. He was so frustrated with Mingyu’s antics. He wasn’t sure if he was brilliant or really really stupid. 

“I can’t believe you fucking called us out so we could go to the mall.” 

Mingyu grinned exposing his sharp canines that made his smile look all the more mischievous. He was proud of himself,

“I can’t believe it either. I got them to believe I was three different parents, and I made up different reasons you all needed to be called out.” 

Jihoon glared at Mingyu. He had to say he was impressed that Mingyu pulled all of that off, but he was also incredibly pissed. Jihoon couldn’t help it, he got flustered and nervous and started mumbling softly but harshly under his breath, 

“What if I don’t get valedictorian? What if this is what disqualifies me-”

Seokmin laughed, he loved when Jihoon got flustered. Jihoon was so small but when he got mad he could be really frightening. Although at this point in their friendship, Seokmin had learned to find Jihoon’s temperament funny rather than frightening. It made it easier for all of them to deal with him.

“Well if this doesn’t disqualify you, we can bank on three more years of Mingyu pranks Jihoon.” 

Jihoon shut his eyes and tried focusing on his breathing. A deep breath in and a deep breath out. That’s what they were talking about in psych class. Jihoon had no idea if that stuff would work but it was worth a shot. Jihoon only tried to focus on breathing for a couple seconds before he heard Jun say something, 

“Bro,” Jun said as he slapped Mingyu on the back out of admiration, “you are legit the greatest.” 

Jihoon was so done with his idiot friends, 

“Jun. He pretended to be our parents. AND called us out of school. How is that the greatest!?” 

Mingyu is the one who starts laughing, Seokmin soon joins in and Jun shrugs. He smiled at Jihoon and then Jihoon finally gave up. This was by far the stupidest thing they had ever done, but he was certain they’d do stupider things. He had three whole years with these idiots. But that didn’t stop Jihoon from arguing. 

“You can’t make me leave. I can just walk back into the school, take my seat in Biology and go to class like we’re all supposed to.” 

Mingyu sighed. Jihoon could get so combative sometimes. It would be annoying but he’d gotten used to handling it. 

“I just told the office your grandma died dude...It would be weird if you went back to class now.” 

Jihoon’s eyes got smaller as he angrily squinted at Mingyu and his round face turned from normal looking to a light frustrated shade of pink. He still tried to argue but Mingyu just started walking and Seokmin followed. Jun was thus left with the task of dragging a very huffy, annoyed and grumpy Jihoon to the mall. 

Since the guys were still freshman they had to walk instead of drive. It was a quick walk from Glendale only 3/4 of a mile or so. On the way to the mall, they passed a cornfield. That was how Midwestern their little town was. Since Mingyu was so tall it was hard for the rest of them to keep up with him but somehow they managed. Jihoon was the one who struggled the most but Jun, although tall, was nice enough to slow down and walk with him. 

Seokmin, however, had gotten used to keeping up with Mingyu. He had been doing so for as long as he remembered. 

Mingyu and Seokmin met half way through fourth grade. It all happened really simply. Mingyu was playing soccer out on the street with a bunch of his friends, and his team needed another player. Seokmin happened to be outside, and Mingyu sweet talked him into joining the game. 

After that, the two boys saw each other around school. And one morning as Seokmin was getting ready to walk to school, Mingyu caught up with him as he was also walking to the same school. At first, they just walked to and from school together but slowly they started talking at school, recess periods, and Seokmin became a regular member of the street soccer squad. By the time Mingyu and Seokmin started fifth grade together their friendship had been solidified through a summer long of camping out in each other’s backyards and inviting each other over for dinner with their families. 

When the boys reached sixth grade, they were shoved into a middle school with kids from four different elementary schools. And middle school was the worst. All the boys were in different stages of growth but they were all in one grade together. Some kids were literally growing facial hair and others had barely hit five feet. Mingyu and Seokmin stuck together in middle school too, and in the first couple of weeks, they were kind of forced to share tables with this skinny Chinese kid named Jun and one of those kids who hadn’t reached five feet yet, Jihoon. 

At first, things were kind of awkward. Seokmin and Mingyu only talked to each other and Jun and Jihoon ate in silence. But one day Mingyu asked Jun if he could trade part of his PB&J for Jun’s rice balls and they all started looking forward to sharing lunches. And in-between swapping lunches, seeing each other randomly in the halls, and occasionally having classes with each other, the four guys became an inseparable group. 

When the guys got to the mall, Mingyu told them to wait outside of the theater. Jun saw Mingyu straighten out his posture and puff out his chest and smiled to himself. 

When Mingyu returned he was holding four tickets to a horror movie. Seokmin took one look at the title printed on the ticket and his eyes expanded. 

“Mingyu this movie is rated R how did you get tickets?” 

“I called you out of school, you think I can’t get tickets?” 

Jihoon rolled his eyes, Mingyu was so much all the time. 

“Mingyu I watched you choke on your ‘on the go’ cereal in a bag this morning. You are not that smooth.” 

“Yeah,” Jun added, “We all know you’re going to cry.” 

Mingyu did cry. He couldn’t even get through the first half hour of the movie without freaking out multiple times. After the second scare of the movie, he took up hiding behind Jun’s arm as if that would somehow help. But apparently, his attempts to hide his loud reactions weren’t enough. Half way through the movie an exhausted looking guy with a mop of dirty blond hair came in and escorted the four boys out of the theater. Mingyu quickly noticed that his name tag said Manager and started regretting ever talking like he was anything but a dumb fourteen year-old high school freshman that was scared of authority. His forehead started to get hot and he quickly felt sweat trickling down his neck and tickling him as it traveled down his back. Jun kept swapping panicked looks with Seokmin who wasn’t doing so hot either and Jihoon just stared at the ground in frustration. They were totally screwed.

The Manager guy didn't say anything to the boys other than to follow him. And so they followed him in an awkward silence, nothing but the sound of squeaky shoes against tile floors accompanying them. Eventually, the Manager took them into an office room and motioned for all of them to take a seat as he ran his fingers through his oily blonde hair and pulled it into a ponytail. He sighed and started on a long lecture about breaking rules. Apparently, rules were essential to the healthy functioning of a society and a movie theater. Mingyu only half listened to the guy as he rattled on and on. The only thing Mingyu managed to really remember was when the Manager said, 

“… oh and we’ll make you guys call your parents shortly to notify them of this, erm… incident.” 

Mingyu, who previously had just been picking at his nails looked up. He looked over at Seokmin who looked as if he was going to burst into tears and then started thinking. He could not have his parents know about this. Mingyu did that thing again. He got up, stood up straight and cleared his throat, 

“Mr. Manager, can I uhh talk to you alone for a second?” 

Jihoon looked up and over at Jun. Jun’s eyes were wide and shook his head indicating that he had no idea what was going on. The Manager looked over at Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon who were still sitting around and then back and Mingyu and nodded. He gestured for Mingyu to follow him out in the hall and Mingyu did. He looked over at Seokmin for some sort of encouragement and was reassured when Seokmin gave him a quick thumbs up. Now Mingyu just had to use that sweet talk he was so good at one more time. 

Jihoon started to worry when Mingyu and the Manager had been out in the hall for over five minutes. When Mingyu finally came out from the hall and back into the room with the rest of them he was holding back a smile. he didn’t say anything, the Manager did all the talking. 

“You guys are free to go. Just don’t do this again.” 

Jun and Seokmin immediately started thanking the Manager, and Jihoon rushed out of the door as soon as possible. When all four of them gathered again outside the theater in a common space in the mall Jihoon was the first one to do anything. He looked straight up into Mingyu eyes and slapped him across the arm. 

“You’re a fucking idiot.” 

Mingyu deserved that. He knew he did. But what stood out to him was how hard a little guy like Jihoon could slap. It took him a couple minutes to process and a couple more for Jihoon to calm down but afterwards their group slipped back into their peculiar homeostasis. After a couple minutes of chatting about what happened, they all decided that their Friday night had been a little too eventful and decided to part ways. Jihoon and Jun left the mall first and walked to their houses together. Mingyu and Seokmin stayed at the mall for a bit longer. They messed around, but when the sun started setting, they decided that it was probably time to go home too. 

Although living in the Midwest sucked most of the time, sunsets were beautiful. Watching the bright blue sky melt into oranges and pinks was one of Mingyu’s favorite things to do and although a lot had happened that day Mingyu didn’t want to miss the sky. 

“Hey, Seokmin do you mind if we walk the long way home?”

“For the sunset?” 

Mingyu smiled, sometimes he wondered if Seokmin knew him better than he knew himself. 

“Yeah.” 

They walked mostly in silence the rest of the way to their homes. But Mingyu’s mind was anything but silent. So many things happened in that one day for Mingyu but somehow things just felt right. He had this incredibly warm feeling in his stomach, and it spread as he realized that Seokmin was not only his best friend but also a lifelong friend. He looked over at Seokmin, who was aimlessly walking down the path, and decided that he couldn’t waste a moment that perfect. 

“Seokmin, I um have to tell you something…” 

“Mmm?” 

“I’m gay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I’ve been in India for the past couple weeks to updating has been tough. I’m not going to abandon this I’m sorry for the late update. 
> 
> Playlist: [here](http://suan.fm/mix/10s4NfX).  
> Tumblr: [@bronzegyu](http://bronzegyu.tumblr.com/)  
> Beta: [@nachoshi](http://nachoshi.tumblr.com/)


	7. First Fuck Ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo and Mingyu are doing what angsty teenagers do best—moping.

Monday mornings are universally known as the worst. On Monday mornings everything seems twice as hard. Waking up, getting dressed, and grabbing something to eat isn’t just inconvenient, it’s strenuous. But for Wonwoo, none of this mattered. Monday mornings were painless. He never understood what made everyone hate Monday’s, to him it was just another morning. There were days that Wonwoo didn’t want to go to school, but he had never felt like he wanted to stay asleep instead of facing the day. 

But this Monday wasn’t like that. 

This was the first Monday morning in Wonwoo’s High School career (and probably his life) that he did not want to get out of bed. And it wasn’t a subtle feeling either. Wonwoo felt like he was stuck to his bed. Waking up meant going to school, going to school meant Chemistry, and Chemistry meant seeing Mingyu. 

And on that day Wonwoo didn’t know how to do that. How was he supposed to act when he looked at Mingyu? Was he supposed to ignore him completely, or was he supposed to act like nothing happened and he hadn’t freaked out about the rainbow bracelet? Did Wonwoo have the right to apologize, or should he just give up and look away?

When Wonwoo woke up, the first thing that wandered into his mind was that image of Mingyu on Friday, just as he was leaving his house. Wonwoo could only see his eyes. They had looked so sad, and disappointed–that was probably what hurt the most–when he saw him leave. That look was what made Wonwoo feel so guilty. No, that wasn’t the right word, he felt _ashamed_. Ashamed that he had let himself hurt someone so funny and gentle and unbelievably kind. 

Wonwoo was usually downstairs eating breakfast by 7:15. But when it was 7:35, the time Wonwoo usually left, and Wonwoo’s dad hadn’t seen him all morning, he went up to his room. 

Wonwoo’s dad was a lot like Wonwoo. He was quiet and reserved but undeniably caring. He saw a lot of himself in Wonwoo, but he was also observant enough to see that something had shifted. Wonwoo had been acting odd lately. He was more distant, more aloof, and somehow quieter. At first, his dad just figured it was senior year nerves finally getting to him but after this weekend, something just felt off. Wonwoo had locked himself up in his room under the guise of “doing homework” but something still seemed wrong to Wonwoo’s dad. When he went upstairs and saw Wonwoo lying around in bed, his brows furrowed. 

This was definitely not Wonwoo-esq. 

When Wonwoo saw his dad walk into his room, he started to panic a little. He and his dad had an awkward relationship. Wonwoo chalked it up to them being too similar, but Wonwoo needed to figure out a way for him to get out of going to school. He decided that he had to make the first move, to say something before his dad asked him why he wasn’t dressed and ready to go. 

“Hey, dad?” 

His dad just tilted his head as if to tell Wonwoo that he was listening. 

“C-Can I stay home from school? I just feel kind of bleh and I’d rather take a day off and uhh rest it off you know.” 

Wonwoo’s dad didn’t necessarily believe him, but he also trusted Wonwoo. He knew Wonwoo didn’t want to talk, it was written all over his face. In the way his lips were pressed into a tight line and how the unders of his eyes appeared darker and more tired than usual. He stood there looking at Wonwoo for a moment. He looked exhausted and confused and finally he figured if he needed a day off it didn’t really bother him. 

“Look, Wonwoo don’t lie to me. If you need time off just say that.” 

Wonwoo let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, and his lips curved into the faintest smile. He got lucky with a dad that was so much like him. Because even if there were moments they clashed, there were also these moments. Moments where there was this unspoken lingering sense of complete and total understanding. 

He started walking out the door, but paused in Wonwoo’s doorframe and turned around. 

“Should I be worried?” 

Wonwoo wanted to say something immediately. But he also needed a moment to think because he himself didn’t know the answer. Finally, Wonwoo looked up over at his dad and spoke, his voice was hesitant, 

“No, I- I don’t think so.”

Mingyu started the year out feeling completely indifferent about Chemistry. He didn't like it, that was for sure, but in the beginning, he just focused on passing the class. Although once he and Wonwoo started to get along, Chemistry wasn't that bad, and somewhere along the line Mingyu even started _looking forward_ to class. 

But that feeling was gone. It had crawled out of his system and now he was left with anxiety creeping in. 

Mingyu came to Chemistry early that day. He wanted to be there first so he could mentally prepare himself to see Wonwoo. He wasn’t sure how to act or what to say but he knew that he wanted to say something first. He wanted the upper hand. But his plans were cut short when Vernon came up to Mingyu and said, 

“Mingyu do you know where Wonwoo is?” 

Mingyu was caught off guard. Vernon and Wonwoo were friends and thus Mingyu was cordial to Vernon and vice versa, but they hadn’t ever spoken before. 

Vernon watched a look of surprise mixed with a bittersweet sort of sadness wash over Mingyu’s face before he stuttered out an answer, 

“Why would you ask me? He’s your friend.” 

Mingyu was completely genuine in his questioning, there wasn’t a hint of brusqueness in his voice. He sounded more disheartened than anything. 

“I just asked because I thought you two were close.” 

When Mingyu just stared at Vernon for a considerable amount of time, Vernon felt compelled to add, 

“I… uh figured he was with you this weekend because he wasn’t responding to my messages.” 

Once again Mingyu just stared at Vernon. He was at a loss of words. 

_Vernon thought they were close?_

__“Sorry, Vernon I only know as much as you.”_ _

__Vernon was confused. He didn’t understand why Mingyu was so surprised that he asked him about Wonwoo. It was painfully obvious the two were close. But what bothered Vernon more was the strained tone of Mingyu’s voice. He sounded exhausted and something in his voice rang upset when talking about Wonwoo. Vernon didn't know Mingyu, but he had always seen him smiling and giggling with Wonwoo. He had never seen him so defeated like now._ _

__Vernon could sense that something was off beat, but he also felt like he was reading too much into it. He figured Mingyu probably just got less sleep than usual or something._ _

__Mingyu had gotten used to Wonwoo’s presence during lunch. Even though he had been eating lunch alone for a good portion of the year, the first day without Wonwoo in a few weeks felt tangibly more lonely. He missed the way he and Wonwoo would walk from Chemistry through the unused back hallways of the school into their own little world–the art room. He missed the way Wonwoo would listen to him. Everything from the way he moved his eyes to the way he adjusted himself in his uncomfortable plastic stool was attentive._ _

__But Wonwoo, Mingyu remembered, that wasn't the real Wonwoo. That Wonwoo left when he chose to walk out of Mingyu’s room. Last Friday when Wonwoo had caught the meaning behind Mingyu’s rainbow bracelet and then to chose to leave, he also inadvertently made a choice to leave Mingyu’s life. Mingyu was tired of dealing with people like Wonwoo. No matter how much Mingyu was desperate to have a friend there was no way he could justify putting up with someone who didn’t respect him. He wasn’t going to compromise who he was in an attempt to save a friendship._ _

__Mingyu wanted to prove to himself that he had learned something over the last couple of years.  
He wasn’t going to repeat old mistakes. So Mingyu decided that he needed to do something. He packed up his untouched lunch and walked out of the art classroom. He needed a change of scenery because he wasn’t about to let the thought of some random homophobe ruin any more of his time. _ _

__Mingyu rushed out of the art classroom. He needed to get out of there and so he did, and he did fast. When he found himself in the hallways of Glendale he did something he usually never did. He took a main hallway instead of the back route. He wasn’t thinking. Mingyu was running on adrenaline, his feet were flying and he was following them. This strange sort of autopilot mode he had going on had him walking past his old hangout, Glendale's library. It was almost like his feet were seeking out comfort. His body had remembered how much comfort he had once felt in that library and he ended up in there. But once he was in that space once again and Mingyu started to look around, that sense of comfort was lost as quickly as he had found it._ _

__He saw a spitting image of his Freshman year. He saw Jun and Jihoon sitting next to each other. Even from this distance, he could see a mischievous twinkle in Jun’s eyes and he could feel Jihoon wishing he could just work on his homework in peace. He saw lunches spread out on the worn oak library tables and backpacks littered by each person’s seat._ _

__Jun and Jihoon looked almost the same. Jun had grown into his taller lanky figure and was now working his lean muscley body. Jihoon’s face had gained some more edges. His rounded little baby face had been roughed up and he looked quite a bit older. But the two of them were still hanging onto every word that a charming, natural born leader was saying. Mingyu only remembered them looking at him like that Freshman year. And although Mingyu knew he couldn’t be at two places at once, he felt like the guy they were talking to should have been him. But it wasn’t. Nope. Instead, the guy the two were looking at so intently was Senior year Seokmin._ _

__As soon as he saw his former friends sitting around unchanged, Mingyu felt like a freshman again. And not in a good way. He felt all the feelings he had worked for over two years to get over rush back to him in an instant._ _

__But he also felt utterly stupid. Stupid for letting this catch him by surprise. Stupid for panicking as soon as he saw an image from his past. And stupid for not understanding that life had moved on for Jun, Jihoon, and Seokmin just as it did for him._ _

__Mingyu had moved on, and he had grown into someone he was happy with. But his three best friends from what seemed like a different era looked like they hadn't changed. They seemed like they were perfectly content, happy even, with who they were. So they hadn't changed. The little change Mingyu had seen in them came from time–not personal growth or a change of heart. Just time._ _

__***_ _

__It had been a couple weeks since Mingyu came out to Seokmin, and Mingyu was mostly glad he did it. He wasn't sure why he was so nervous to come out to Seokmin because he didn’t stop being friends with him or anything. After telling him, Seokmin had just mumbled out a few words about how he didn’t mind and then shrugged the whole thing off. He acted if nothing had even happened, as if Mingyu hadn’t swallowed up his fears in the pursuit of being more open about himself. And although Mingyu did everything in his capacity to fight it when the two of them hung out, the air felt thicker and more awkward. By not talking about it, things had almost become harder. Mingyu felt himself second guess himself. He began to wonder if Seokmin would take it the wrong way if he sat too close to him, or if he said something about a cute guy._ _

__But for the most part Mingyu’s friendship with Seokmin still felt easy, like putting on a soft cotton t-shirt or the feeling of worn in flip flops in the summer._ _

__But after awhile it's easy to find holes in cotton t-shirts and feel the wear in summertime flip flops._ _

__One day at lunch, things were happening as usual. Mingyu, Seokmin, Jihoon, and Jun had all finished trading their lunches, and Jihoon had isolated himself studying for a test while the other three guys sat around chatting._ _

__Halfway through lunch, Jihoon looked up from his books and stared at Jun who was clutching his stomach in laughter._ _

__“Jun, you should really study for your test next block.”_ _

__“Shut up Jihoon.”_ _

__“Look you really have to study if you want to pass-”_ _

__“Stop being so gay Jihoon”_ _

__Jihoon huffs, clearly pissed off and responds,_ _

__“Jun I'm not gay for being responsible..You not studying is gay.”_ _

__When those words carelessly fell out of Jihoon’s mouth everything stopped for a second for Mingyu. He stopped listening to the chitter chatter at the table and looked down. He tried to focus on just one thing. He tried to just focus his eyes on the spaghetti he had brought for lunch, but as he was looking down, his vision blurred. He wasn’t close to crying or anything, but his eyes were starting to gather water out of pure confusion._ _

___Is that all gay meant to his friends?_ _ _

__Instinctively, Mingyu wanted to look for his best friend, Seokmin. But he knew he couldn’t. Mingyu could hear the quiet sound of Seokmin laughing in the background. It was the same laugh that had soothed him when his parents got a divorce, the same laugh that helped him pull of all of his pranks, and the same sound that he had learned to associate with comfort. It took it’s time dancing in the air around them and lingered around for a bit the same way as that laugh. But now that laugh felt hollow, void of any real meaning. The laugh that he had learned to love so much was laced with something harsh. His laugh had been entangled and intertwined with Mingyu’s biggest fear–being ridiculed for being himself._ _

__Mingyu wanted to look up glare at Seokmin so badly. But he stopped himself. He didn't want to make what was happening any more real than it already was. Seokmin’s laughter rung heavy in his ears. And when slowly Jun’s airy laugh joined Seokmin’s and Jihoon himself cracked a bit of a smile, something turned in Mingyu’s stomach. He felt disgusting as if he was seconds away from throwing up all the food he had chowed down during lunch._ _

__Mingyu all of a sudden was defamiliarized with a sound that previously meant so much to him. He felt like a foreigner sitting in the seat that he had always sat in. And that feeling was written all over Mingyu’s face. Mingyu turned a ghostly looking pale and unknowingly he went completely silent. He started to fold in on himself, closing himself off from their shared table to a terrifyingly dark space in his mind. It didn't take long for Seokmin to catch on. He quickly caught Mingyu’s eyes and scoffed,_ _

__“Dude lighten up.”_ _

__***_ _

__Skipping half a day of school was enough for Wonwoo. He didn't know what he was going to say or if he could make it right, but he knew he had to try. He wasn't going to miss out on a friendship like the one he had with Mingyu because he was too scared to do anything else but run away. He was going to fight for it._ _

__Wonwoo got to school around lunch time. He was about to go to the library and say hi to Vernon, but he ran into him in the hallway almost as soon as he walked into the school._ _

__“Hey where were you? Mingyu and I missed you during Chemistry.”_ _

__Vernon could physically see something shift in Wonwoo’s demeanor when he said Mingyu. Something about the way he moved changed. He looked softer but also more somber._ _

__Wonwoo paused for a moment And thought about those words. Vernon had strung “Mingyu” and “missed you” in the same sentence, and it was bringing back even more guilt into his system. When Wonwoo finally spoke it was quiet and concerned._ _

__“What about Mingyu?”_ _

__Wonwoo walked into art class considerably late. He had Vernon explain exactly what Mingyu had said to him in Chemistry. Everytime Vernon said anything he asked him to repeat it at least once. Just to make sure he knew exactly what Mingyu said, how he said it and even where in the Chemistry classroom he said it. He wanted to know as much as possible so he was prepared to face Mingyu. But when he walked into class and saw Mingyu working on a sketch, black hair gracefully but messily falling over his forehead, he forgot every detail he had wasted so much time collecting and analyzing. All he remembered, all he was left with, were new feelings. New feelings of pangs of guilt and tight knots in his chest._ _

__That day was really a day full of firsts._ _

__Mingyu noticed when Wonwoo walked into class immediately. How could he not? He was the oldest kid in the class, he was also late, and there was something in his stride that caught Mingyu’s attention every time he saw him. It wasn't like Mingyu was working on anything to keep him distracted either. He had just been drawing aimlessly into his sketchbook all class period. When Wonwoo started walking towards him, Mingyu’s strokes and became so heavy he could feel the pencil nib crack on the soft pages of his sketchbook. He let out a sigh and continued drawing so he wouldn’t have to look up at Wonwoo._ _

__Mingyu could feel Wonwoo looking at him as soon as he got to the table but he’s determined to pretend like he didn’t immediately feel Wonwoo’s presence._ _

__Wonwoo was nervous. He felt his mouth go dry and his head hurt just thinking about the endless ways this interaction could go wrong. After staring at Mingyu for longer than what was probably appropriate, Wonwoo licked his lips and cleared his throat to speak. He wasn’t entirely sure his voice was going to work for him in that moment._ _

__“Hey. Did I uh...miss anything in Chemistry?”_ _

__Wonwoo felt an aggravated heat creep out of his broken sketching pencil and settle itself in the tips of his ears. Of all the things Wonwoo could say he started off by talking about Chemistry class. Not even attempting to acknowledge how awkward it was when he left his house, or how weird it was that he skipped class that morning. Mingyu finally looked up and stared into Wonwoo’s sharp dark eyes and snapped,_ _

__“Ask the teacher,” before he quickly gathered his stuff and found a seat at another table._ _

__Wonwoo was a bit stunned. He had never seen Mingyu so angry. But the thing that really stirred Wonwoo wasn't that Mingyu was mad, but that look of distress he saw laying underneath his eyes. Wonwoo let out a deep breath not knowing what to do next, but then he saw that Mingyu had left a broken pencil on the table. He figured that was his in, so he grabbed it and jogged over to catch up with Mingyu who was sitting alone at his own table._ _

__“You left this over there.”_ _

__“I didn’t want it Wonwoo.”_ _

___Shit. Mingyu was really really pissed._ _ _

__“I’m sorry.”_ _

__“For what?”_ _

__“For erm... skipping class.”_ _

___He really doesn't get how he hurt me does he?_ _ _

__“Yeah, it’s whatever… just stop following me.”_ _

__Mingyu looked back down at his sketch, making sure Wonwoo couldn't see it, and hoping that he would understand and leave him alone._ _

__No matter how mad he was, Mingyu was really rooting for Wonwoo to miraculously redeem himself. It was Wonwoo that messed up. There was no doubt about that.. He was the one who deserved to be blamed. Wonwoo _did_ 100% fuck everything up. But Mingyu wanted him to make things right._ _

__He selfishly wanted the closest thing he had to a friend back._ _

__Wonwoo left. It was clear Mingyu didn't want to talk to him. No matter how much he believed in fighting or whatever, he also knew that he had to respect what Mingyu wanted and that was space._ _

__But understanding he wanted space didn't make it easier for Wonwoo to accept that his friendship was was on temporary hiatus. It just pushed him deeper and deeper into panic. He was now just sitting all alone at the table he and Mingyu used to share. As per usual, his art was horrible, but it all sucked more because Mingyu wasn’t there to make snide comments about his shitty drawings. Halfway through class, he looked down at the tree he was supposed to be drawing and saw something that resembled a mess of wires. His art was worse than usual and frankly that surprised even Wonwoo who had been slowly improving with Mingyu’s help. Wonwoo was so exhausted. Exhausted of feeling so off. Like he woke up in an alternate universe where he was completely and utterly powerless._ _

__He sighed and looked up, and his eyes naturally searched for Mingyu. When he finally laid his eyes on him, Mingyu was leaning over some freshman kid guiding him through shading techniques._ _

__Clearly, Wonwoo was replaceable._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing with unreliable wifi, on mobile, and while an Indian wedding was happening was not an easy task but I'm dedicated lol. 
> 
> As always thanks for reading every kudos/comment/bookmark means a fuck ton <3
> 
> Playlist: [here](http://suan.fm/mix/10s4NfX).  
> Tumblr: [@bronzegyu](http://bronzegyu.tumblr.com/)  
> Beta: [@nachoshi](http://nachoshi.tumblr.com/)


	8. Tea Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First school dances always suck, especially if you're a closeted Mingyu and your straight friends make you go. 
> 
> And Wonwoo and Mingyu finally figure it out.

This was the second time that Wonwoo decided to show up to Mingyu’s house totally uninvited. After Mingyu had refused to speak to him all day at school, Wonwoo couldn’t stay at home. He tried to, but after sitting around miserably for an hour, he knew he had to do something. And so he went on a walk and found himself unconsciously taking steps toward Mingyu’s house. He couldn’t even stop himself really, he was just moving. Like something was pulling him towards Mingyu. 

Wonwoo was nervous when he finally got to Mingyu’s house this time too. But for completely different reasons than the first time. This time he was worried about making the situation worse by trying to speak to him again. As Wonwoo walked to Mingyu’s house, he had convinced himself that fighting for this friendship was the right thing to do, even if it was for selfish reasons. But now, as he stood in front of Mingyu’s house, enveloped in the sense of peace and calmness it seemed to radiate, he was second guessing himself.

Mingyu was upstairs in his room when he looked out the window and saw a blob of dark, tousled hair walking towards his house. His suspicions were confirmed when he watched the boy get closer to his house and saw light catch on a pair of silver wire frames.

Wonwoo. It was really Wonwoo. 

Mingyu couldn’t stop the warm smile that grew on his face as the realization sank in. This is what Mingyu was hoping for–he didn’t want to just cut Wonwoo out of his life forever. He was hoping that the guy who was coming over now was nice guy Wonwoo, the one that made him laugh with his horrible drawing and lame dad jokes. 

Mingyu simply waited for Wonwoo to ring the doorbell or something, but that didn’t happen. Mingyu peered out of the window one more time and realized that Wonwoo was just pacing in front of his door. Mingyu let out a scoff. For the bad ass type that Wonwoo liked to present himself as, Wonwoo was really just a regular frightened high school Senior. Mingyu went downstairs and contemplated just opening the door and practically forcing Wonwoo to talk to him, but he decided against it. He wanted to give Wonwoo some more time. So instead he walked over to the kitchen, grabbed his tea kettle, and started making some tea to pass the time. 

After another five minutes, when Mingyu had started sipping on his favorite green tea and he still hadn’t heard a knock, Mingyu gave up. There was a limit to his patience. And Mingyu really wasn’t that patient to begin with. He set his mug down on the island in the kitchen and quickly walked over to the door. Mingyu figured that opening the door could be the little push in the right direction that Wonwoo needed. 

“Hey?”

That was the only word Mingyu could force out of his mouth when he saw Wonwoo. He looked surprised that Mingyu had caught him pacing. His eyes widened, his face turned a deep, embarrassed pink color, and his mouth hung partly open as if he was struggling to find any words at all. Mingyu kind of found it funny that he was making Wonwoo _so_ nervous. Wonwoo blinked a couple times and then stammered, 

“No-Nothing. I was uh just leaving ha.” 

He quickly turned around to walk away, and Mingyu started to become restless. He had never seen the incredibly flustered kid that was standing in front of him, but somehow he could feel that _this_ was Wonwoo. Maybe it was even the most Wonwoo Mingyu had ever seen. Mingyu wasn’t angry anymore. He just didn’t understand, but he couldn’t let him go. Not like this. A tiny part of Mingyu wanted to fight for Wonwoo and so he did.

“Okay Wonwoo,” Mingyu started, waiting until Wonwoo turned around so he could look him in the eye as he said the rest, “I know you didn’t just pace around my house for like twelve minutes to not say anything to me.” 

When Mingyu spoke this time it was different than it was at school. He was looking at him, really seeing him. Mingyu’s eyes seemed to understand, to know, more than Wonwoo thought he could ever even attempt to comprehend. Mingyu had this gaze, it gave away his innocence. When he was serious, his eyes screamed this sad sort of wisdom, and Wonwoo couldn’t look away.

It took Wonwoo a while to respond. He just stared at Mingyu, and it seemed to him as though he was taking something in, but what he wasn’t sure. Mingyu let Wonwoo have his time. He knew that whatever he chose to say next would be important. The words would be precise and carefully selected because that’s just how Wonwoo was. He didn't say much, but when he did Mingyu had learned to hang onto every word. 

“You saw me.”

It was more of a statement than a question. Mingyu knew that Wonwoo was hiding something behind those words but he didn’t know what. Mingyu just looked at Wonwoo’s face, as if he was searching for the answer. But when he couldn’t find the answer he paused for a minute; his facial features softened into a sense of understanding and his brown eyes settled on Wonwoo’s face. Mingyu held back the beginnings of a cheeky smile and said, 

“You’re not as as subtle as you think you know.” 

Wonwoo didn't say anything back. He just stared a little bewildered and very confused. Mingyu chuckled to himself. It seemed as though one of them was always at a loss for words. 

“I know you didn't get a phone notification on Friday,” 

Mingyu’s tone was more casual now. All the anger and caution he had built up inside himself before talking to Wonwoo dissipated the moment he saw him. He could see that Wonwoo was struggling, but he couldn't see malicious intentions. He looked down at his hands for a moment and absent mindedly twirled his rainbow bracelet around his fingers a few times– almost as if he was trying to find courage in the soft threads. 

“I know it was because of the bracelet.”

Wonwoo already figured that Mingyu would have put it together, but when he said it with his own words, all the guilt pooled back into his stomach. Although, Wonwoo also knew that the guilt couldn't stop him. He had his big second chance, Mingyu literally had forced him to take it. His big plan was to panic and run away. The irony of the situation suddenly came to Wonwoo’s attention. He, a potential valedictorian was being schooled by a kid who could hardly make it alive through a science class without close supervision. 

“For a guy who could barely pass Chemistry you're pretty smart.” 

Mingyu bit back a grin and jokingly started to close the door on Wonwoo, but not before he quipped,

“For a guy who's almost out valedictorian you're really stupid.” 

Wonwoo watched as the rich wooden door frame started replacing where Mingyu had been standing mere seconds ago. But before Mingyu was completely out of sight he stuck his hand in the door frame and felt words fly out in frenzied desperation- he wasn’t sure if Mingyu was joking or serious,

“Wait! Can I come in or something?” 

***  
Winter always seems to sneak up on Glendale high. Before anyone could start processing what they had been learning for half a year, the end of first semester starts to roll around. There was always this feeling of unrest at the beginning of December. It’s too cold to do anything but too early to start studying for finals, and everyone is getting anxious sitting around waiting. Even the usually very active jocks have nothing to do because most sports are wrapping up their seasons. Spirits are low and all of Glendale, the students and staff alike, feel this dull sort of boredom eating away at their ability to be productive in even the slightest. 

To combat this annual problem, Glendale’s principal and the Student Council had come together to create some sort of solution; a Sadie Hawkins dance. All that really meant was that girls were supposed to ask guys to the dance to “change things up.”

But for people who weren’t, you know, 100% cisgender heterosexuals (i.e. Mingyu), Sadie Hawkin’s wasn’t “changing things up.” It was an aggressive reminder that Glendale, the place he should arguably feel the safest, didn’t know or even care that people like him existed.

The first day that Mingyu walked into the Glendale and saw that the hallways had been plastered large pink and blue posters advertising the Sadie Hawkins, Mingyu had to physically hold himself back from groaning. Not only were the posters ridiculously gendered, they were also a total eyesore. Mingyu couldn’t help but think that if he had designed those posters, although he would have refused, they would be easier to look at. The walls simply looked gaudy and cheap. The advertising relied on simplifications and stereotypes. Not only was that limiting artistically, it was also limited the way Mingyu dared to see himself inside the school.

There were also whispers that quite a few girls had considered asking Mingyu. In all honesty, it wasn’t a shock to anyone but Mingyu himself. Mingyu was kind of mysterious, but funny and had a reputation as the nice guy. Naturally, lots of girls couldn’t help but crush on him. 

The person who brought it up to Mingyu’s attention first was Jun. He waltzed into the library one day with a wide grin plastered over his face. He didn’t say anything for a while but Mingyu, Seokmin, and Jihoon knew something was up. Jun was using his typical tactic before unleashing some juicy piece of information. He made it blatantly obvious that he had something important to say, it was always poorly hidden in the curve of his smile or the widening of his eyes. Then he waited until someone at the table became impatient, broke, and asked him directly what was going on. That particular day it happened to be Jihoon who finally got Jun to say, 

“Apparently, tons of girls want to ask Mingyu to Sadie Hawkins, ” 

Jun said struggling to take his own words seriously. Jihoon looked at Jun in disbelief for a couple seconds but when Jun didn’t do anything to indicate that he was joking, Jihoon snorted in awe. Seokmin, on the other hand, was struggling to find light in the situation. He wanted to make fun of Mingyu like Jihoon and Jun but he couldn’t find it in him. Instead, he only felt this bitter metallic taste of jealousy in his mouth. He was jealous. What did Mingyu have that he didn’t?

Seokmin made it all through the school day still feeling jealous. He just couldn’t shake it out of his system. He was feeling so off that he decided to skip over meeting Mingyu at his locker after school and instead, he made his way outside to the bench to meet up with Jun and Jihoon. Sure he knew he was being a dick, but he also didn’t care.

He found himself feeling like a that a lot lately.

Standing around waiting alone like a loser sucks. Mingyu would know because that’s exactly what he had done after class. But there was only so much time that he could awkwardly make eye contact with everyone who came by and looked at him funny for lingering around a locker with no one. After a good 10 minutes of waiting, he walked through the deserted, Friday hallways of Glendale in search of his friends. He found them in their usual spot. Jun and Jihoon were smirking listening to Seokmin complaining about something. Mingyu could tell, even though he was quite a distance away from him, it was Seokmin–his best friend–after all. As he got closer to the bench he could hear what was Seokmin’s saying, 

“Everyone’s asking Mingyu, I mean I have no idea what they see, cause I’m like right here!”

Jihoon snicker and Jun lets out a fully devolved laugh. Mingyu didn’t understand why girls were asking him either but something felt wrong with Seokmin’s “joke.” Mingyu felt like his words were seconds away from turning harsh. But he didn’t want to cause any trouble so he just chuckled and waved as he took a seat at the bench they were all sitting at. Mingyu pretended to be involved in the conversation but he was really just trying not to think about the meaning behind Seokmin’s words earlier and these past couple weeks. He couldn't make sense of why things were turning out to feel tense.  
Mingyu was still stuck thinking about what went wrong between him and Seokmin when he noticed that everyone at the bench had hushed down. Their voices, which were formerly loud and boisterous, turned into excited whispers. Mingyu heard Jihoon’s voice first, he was trying to make it sound like he was unphased, but Mingyu could tell that he was at the least intrigued, 

“Jun, calm down it’s just a girl,” 

“Jihoon, when’s the last time a girl came over to talk to us?” 

Jihoon didn’t have a smart ass comment to fire back at Jun so he just rolled his eyes and busied himself with some book he was reading. Seokmin and Jun didn’t even try to hide the fact that they were gawking at the girl.

Devi looked small and shy, (she was only around 5’3”) but she was the stuff made of Glendale legend. Like Mingyu, she was known for being incredibly sweet but also incredibly good looking. Her black curls framed her heart-shaped face perfectly and her impossibly dark eyes were shadowed by thick eyelashes. She knew exactly how to accentuate her curves while still making it look like she didn’t spend _too_ much time worrying about her appearance in the morning.

Devi knew that Seokmin and Jun were staring she could feel it, but frankly, she was used to it. Her attention was focused on someone else completely, a boy that she could only describe as tall, dark, and handsome–but anyone who knew him would laugh because Mingyu was actually a huge dork.

Mingyu however, wasn’t looking at Devi. He was zoned out and picking at his nails when a cheerful “Hi Mingyu” snapped him out of his trance. When Mingyu looked up he was looking at Devi. She was pretty, he could see that, but when he looked over and saw the way Jun and Seokmin looked at her he knew he couldn’t even try and fake it anymore. Mingyu could only gulp. He wasn’t nervous about Devi being in front of him but rather it was the fact that he didn’t feel, not even for a passing second, the way Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon did. 

“Hey? Uh… Devi right?”

Devi’s plump lips curled into a little bit of a smile and she pushed a couple curls behind her ear as she said, 

“Yeah, I think we have English together.” 

Mingyu nodded urging Devi to go on, he could feel Seokmin, Jun, and even Jihoon’s eyes follow every word he spoke.

“Well, I was wondering if you’d go to the dance with me?”

Mingyu knew that was what she was going to ask. He could kind of feel it. It was Sadie Hawkins season and there was literally no reason for Devi to be talking to Mingyu other that. Mingyu couldn’t say yes. Devi was nice, she deserved someone who actually wanted to go to the dance with her. 

“Oh, Devi I uh… don’t think I’m going sorry,” 

Mingyu waited for her to say something, but when he noticed her face fall into a frenzied sort of embarrassment, he quickly added,  
“uh dances they aren’t really my thing…” 

Devi nodded quickly, trying to mask how flustered she had become but pulled her composer together and said, 

“It’s okay Mingyu, I’ll see you in class or something.” 

There was this strange pull of shame as Mingyu watched Devi walk away, but it was nothing compared to what he felt when he finally noticed the way Seokmin was glaring at him. There was this nasty glint in his eye and Mingyu felt like it was harder to swallow all of a sudden. Seokmin’s lips curled into an uneven smile, and he looked at Mingyu dead in the eyes, 

“What? Do you not swing that way Mingyu?” 

Seokmin’s head tilted a little as he said the last part of the sentence, as if he was trying to make sense of what he was looking at. And his voice was laced with something Mingyu had never heard from Seokmin, something he could only describe as absolute loathing. And although Jihoon, and Jun’s laughs were coming from a considerably more innocent place than Seokmin’s, it still made Mingyu feel like the air around him was dissipating, leaving him alone struggling to breathe. That feeling quickly twisted into anger when he saw Seokmin look at Mingyu, like he was proud of making him feel so helpless. Mingyu felt his head burn in anger and he wasn’t really thinking anymore, he was in complete rage mode. 

 

“What the fuck Seokmin. What the crap was that all about?” 

Seokmin wasn’t phased. Not a bit. He just smiled, the smile that Mingyu had, at this point, learned to detest, and spit out,  
“I don’t know Mingyu, maybe it’s about how you’ve been acting like a pussy lately.” 

Jihoon’s eyes widened and he looked over at Jun, who was also phased, in exasperation. Everything turned tense in a matter of seconds and Jihoon didn’t understand why Mingyu had to make things dramatic. Jun nervously started to chuckle in an attempt to deescalate the situation and Jihoon joined in too. He didn’t know what else he was supposed to do. The last thing Jihoon remembered was feeling conflicted as he watched Mingyu leave and mumble an angry “whatever.” 

***

Mingyu opened the door when he heard Wonwoo’s last little plea. It was panicked and Mingyu didn't have it in him to ignore it. He opened the door and looked into Wonwoo’s eyes and saw something genuine. Mingyu hated how weak he was for Wonwoo. He hated how easily he melted into a gooey mess, like cookies when they’re eaten straight out of the oven, when he looked into his eyes. Even if he hated it, he couldn’t stop himself so he let out a soft breath and said, 

“Do you want tea?” 

Wonwoo felt his face warm up into a smile, Mingyu was really talking to him again. He stepped into Mingyu’s house and his eyes actually found a steaming tea kettle. He looked up at Mingyu and asked, 

“So you were just watching me and making tea?” 

Mingyu nodded, placing a chipped blue mug in front of Wonwoo and started pouring some tea. Wonwoo’s gaze fell on Mingyu’s arms as he poured the tea. Mingyu usually worse sweatshirts or t-shirts with sleeves to school but that day he was wearing a ratty old tshirt with the sleeves cut off the arms, exposing his tanned, toned biceps. Wonwoo wasn’t used to seeing artists with sculpted bodies but apparently they existed and Mingyu was proof. There was so much he didn’t know about Mingyu, and Wonwoo found himself wanting to know all of it. 

The silence wasn’t awkward to Mingyu, he was giving himself something to do while he thought about what exactly he wanted to say. Wonwoo on the other hand was starting to get antsy. He didn’t know what to say and the silence he used to treasure so much was uncomfortable. So he said the only thing that came to mind while he watched Mingyu, 

“Why’d you make tea?”

Mingyu wanted to stop the smile that was threatening to take over his face. But he could only smirk when Wonwoo started acting bumbling idiot. Mingyu tried to not give away that he was already starting to forgive Wonwoo, and answered honestly. 

“It’s a nervous habit I guess.” 

Wonwoo snickered, feeling a little more comfortable when he noticed that Mingyu was biting back a smile, 

“So you’re admitting that I make you nervous?” 

Mingyu rolled his eyes, and he let his smile slip, he missed this. The stupid banter and the cheeky responses. 

“Are you going to explain or should I shut the door on you again?” 

***

Mingyu didn't talk to Seokmin after the little incident at the bench after school, and Seokmin didn't try to talk to him either. And he was hoping that would be the end of it. That he could walk into school the next day and pretend like nothing happened. He wished he could just go to the library, joke around with Jun and Jihoon, and pretend like nothing had ever happened and that Seokmin had never even existed. But that was made impossible as soon as Mingyu stepped into Glendale the next day. When he got to his locker he was cornered by Seokmin who for some reason was smiling. Mingyu doesn’t say anything to him he just tries to get to his locker, grab his books, and pretend that Seokmin wasn’t just standing there but Seokmin had different plans, 

“Mingyu, I got you that date with Devi back.”

“Wait… what?”

“What do you mean _what._ Did you forget everything that happened yesterday?” 

Mingyu was angry all over again now. Seokmin was talking to him and he wasn’t ready for that, but he was also spewing some nonsense about going on a date with Devi? Mingyu knew how to make decisions, he decided to not hurt Devi, and he didn’t need Seokmin messing around with that. 

“Dude. Why the fuck would I want to go with her? Did _you_ forget about our interaction yesterday? Or did you just forget about what I told you?”

“Mingyu calm down. I get it. I remember all our conversations. But Devi, the hottest girl in school asked you, and all the guys want to go with her–so just go.”

How could Seokmin of all people be this deaf? It was like he wasn’t trying to hear what Mingyu had been saying. This wasn’t the Seokmin he knew and loved. This was someone else. Someone who he didn’t like. Mingyu took a deep breath, thankful that no one was around his locker watching him fight with the person everyone knew was his best friend. He gestured at himself and said, 

“...Well clearly not all guys want to go with her” 

Seokmin scoffed. Mingyu was being dramatic. 

“Oh fuck off Gyu, we all can go together. I’m going with Devi’s best friend Anne and it’ll just be a group thing.” 

Mingyu didn’t say anything for a bit. He found himself thinking about going with Devi and Seokmin and Anne. They’d have to go to dinner and dance. He’d have to crack a few jokes and act flustered. But all of it would have to be pretend. And Mingyu didn’t know if he could do that, not even for one night. 

Seokmin could tell that Mingyu was hesitating. He knew he was thinking, but he could see that Mingyu was about to be the perfect guy that he always was and refuse. So Seokmin lowered his voice and whispered, 

“I’d be weird if a guy like you didn’t go with anyone… Do you want people to get suspicious?” 

Seokmin’s words implied something frightening. He wasn’t talking to Mingyu. Seokmin was threatening him. His eyes lingered on Mingyu’s face as he watched his threat sink in. He waited patiently to watch the look of shock overwhelm Mingyu’s usually handsome face and then walked away smirking as soon as he saw Mingyu nod faintly. 

Mingyu was standing in front of his mirror the day of the dance fussing with his tie because he knew it looked off. He had followed the step by step what the Youtube tutorial had told him, but the tie he was looking at was just wrong. He was glancing at his reflection in the mirror in confusion when his mother came into his room and asked, 

“Do you need help?” 

Mingyu nodded and she started to fix his tie. The end product looked better than the one in the tutorial to Mingyu. 

“How’d you learn to do that so well?” 

His mom smiled fondly, “Your dad was awful at ties too. He wanted some pictures from tonight with Devi so _please_ take some.” 

Mingyu laughed, rolling his eyes when his mom took out her phone and snapped a couple awkward pictures of Mingyu. He let her indulge though, she was his mom, but he also felt guilty. He wasn’t just lying to Devi, he was lying to his mom and his dad. They were so excited for him, and he’d have to break it to them one day that all of it was fake. That they could take their excitement and trade it in for worry. When Mingyu’s mom caught onto Mingyu’s worried expressions she just assumed it was due to first date jitters and chuckled, 

“Mingyu, there’s no way that this Devi girl isn’t going to like you. Just go out there and be yourself okay?” 

Mingyu smiled one of those sad smiles, he wasn’t sure if he could be himself, but he vowed to at least try. 

Mingyu got to the midrange pasta restaurant Seokmin had picked for them a couple minutes later than at six. He found Seokmin, Anne, and Devi waiting for him at a booth. Devi smiled when she saw Mingyu and scooted in so he could sit down. 

“Sorry, I’m late, I’m a mess.” 

Devi let out a bit of a giggle and said, 

“It’s fine, you look really nice Mingyu.” 

Mingyu managed to say thanks and even tell Devi she looked nice, but he knew his words weren’t sincere the way Devi’s were. She didn’t seem to notice though, and their dinner went well, probably better than it should have. Every time Mingyu said anything, Devi laughed and her friend Anne did too. Mingyu had them hanging on to every dumb pun and joke he could come up with. Devi even moved closer to him as the night went on, but Mingyu only felt stuck. 

Stuck feeling a way he desperately wished he didn’t. 

Later in the night, Devi and Anne had excused themselves to go to the bathroom, so Mingyu had to be alone with Seokmin. Mingyu didn’t say anything to Seokmin because he didn't have anything to say. He had already used up all the words he had for Seokmin. But Seokmin didn’t feel the same way. 

“So how do you feel about Devi and Anne being practically in love with you already?” 

Seokmin’s question wasn’t really a question. He was just spitting out words in hopes of getting a reaction out of Mingyu. But Mingyu wasn’t going to cave. He just responded calmly, 

“What do you mean Seokmin?” 

“They like you Mingyu. That’s all I’m saying.” 

“Well, It doesn’t matter to me Seokmin.” 

“It should…” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“What are you guys talking about?” Devi asks genuinely curious. Mingyu internally thanks Devi for her impeccable timing and shrugs, 

“Oh it’s nothing, do you guys want to head over to the dance now?” 

Mingyu should have predicted that he would get stuck in a grinding circle that Jun started. That seemed like something he should have been prepared for but now he was in the situation, unprepared...and with Devi. 

Mingyu had only been in the circle for a couple minutes, half heartedly moving his body waaay too close to Devi’s when he met eyes with an equally uncomfortable Jihoon,

“Dude let’s leave.” 

 

Mingyu nods, and for the second time, he’s grateful to have been saved by impeccable timing. He mouths a couple words of apology to Devi and manages to escape the circle with Jihoon. Mingyu and Jihoon found a spot at the water table and awkwardly loitered. When Mingyu spotted Devi walking towards Jihoon and him, his heart broke a little. He spent the rest of the night making conversation with her. Everytime Devi giggled, Mingyu felt more and more guilty. 

Devi really liked him, but he just _couldn’t_ like her the same way. No matter how hard he tried. 

Mingyu was really hoping to avoid the whole slow dance situation, but he quickly realized that would be impossible when it seemed like everyone had migrated towards the dance floor. Jihoon, who didn’t have a date, was surprised when he saw Mingyu and Devi avoiding eye contact and nudged Mingyu, 

“Gyu, aren’t you going to dance with Devi?” 

_Fuck_

Mingyu smiled, and mumbled an obligatory “would you like to dance” to Devi, hoping that she would be shy and say no. But Devi nodded rather enthusiastically, and Mingyu found himself dancing to a slow acoustic song. 

Like most guys on the dance floor Mingyu didn’t really know how to dance, he just hoped slowly swaying to the music was the right call. Mingyu was, however, hyper aware of his body in relation to Devi’s. His hands rested uncomfortably on her shoulders instead of by her hips, but Devi didn’t seem to notice. Mingyu didn’t want to get too close but he didn’t want to be too far away and give her the idea that he didn’t like her. Because he did like her, just not in _that_ way. 

“You know Mingyu, you’re a really nice guy.” 

_Do people usually talk during slow dances?_

“Haha… thanks?” 

“It’s just..Mingyu, I know you don’t like like me or anything that but it’s really sweet that you managed not to be a jerk and helped Seokmin out like that.” 

“Uhh what do you mean helped Seokmin?” 

Devi looked at Mingyu, confused. Her dark eyes got wider than they already were and she clarified, as though what she was talking about should have been as obvious as the sky being blue. 

“You know I told Seokmin that I’d help him get a date with Anne if he could get you to come with me?” 

Mingyu stopped dancing, swaying, whatever he and Devi were doing, and started walking towards Seokmin. 

 

“Seok, can I talk to you right now?” 

Seokmin looked up from his own slow dance with Anne and replied, 

“Mingyu I’m kind of busy…” 

“Well, I feel sick and you’re my ride home so can we please go?” 

Seokmin gritted his teeth and said, 

“I’ll meet you outside after this song. We can go then.” 

 

Mingyu nodded and made his way outside of the school. He could hear Devi following him so he turned around and said, 

“Hey, I just need a minute by myself. Can you please just let me get some air?” 

Devi nodded quickly, her eyes screamed that she was hurt, but Mingyu honestly didn’t care anymore. He just needed to be alone. His once best friend had used him like a pawn just to get closer to some random girl. He didn’t understand, and he couldn’t understand what had fundamentally changed. That he was gay? He knew Seokmin being weird about it, but he didn’t really expect that he would manipulate him into going on a date for his own benefit. The whole situation was so strange, like something out of a 90’s coming of age movie and Mingyu wasn’t sure how to handle it all. But he did remember the only thing his mom told him to do before he went out that night, be himself. So in a couple moments, he decided that’s exactly what he had to do. Even if it meant driving his relationship with Seokmin into the wall and ruining Devi’s night. 

So Mingyu walked home. He didn't tell Seokmin or Devi or anyone else where he was going. He needed to clear his head and the cool night air was doing just that. The walk home wasn't far, but it was long enough that Mingyu had enough time to look up at the sparkling sky and think. Mingyu was done playing games with Seokmin. He was going to put his foot down and be himself. 

When Mingyu got home, he changed out of his nice clothes, put on some comfortable pajamas, and tried to fall asleep. And just as he was starting to make peace with everything that happened, he heard the doorbell. Mingyu ran down the stairs to get it before his mom. And although he didn't think of Seokmin as a friend anymore, he knew him well enough that his late night visit wasn't surprising. He opened the door but didn’t invite Seokmin in. Instead, he stepped outside of his house and talked with Seokmin out there. 

“Seokmin I really don't want to talk right now.” 

“Well I do. You fucked up my night Mingyu.” 

Mingyu was tired. Tired of Seokmin not understanding him, tired of trying to salvage their friendship, tired of pretending that he was okay when he really wasn’t. 

“You ruined mine by dragging me to a dance and making me go on a date with a girl.” 

“Gyu, I just needed help. I really liked Anne.” 

 

“And you couldn’t just tell me that? You had to lie? What happened to you Seokmin?” 

Mingyu’s question was earnest, he was begging Seokmin to have something even mildly redeeming to say but he didn’t. Maybe it was because he couldn't give up on his ego, or maybe it was because he didn’t know how. Either way, what he said next broke Mingyu’s heart and left long lasting scars where there should have only been good memories. 

“No… Mingyu what happened to _you_?!” 

Mingyu didn’t understand where Seokmin was going or how he could turn this on him so after a couple seconds of pondering Mingyu asked in doubt, 

“What do you mean?” 

“Gyu, this…” Seokmin says gesturing at all of Mingyu, “isn’t normal. You’re supposed to have fun with girls like Devi. You having a horrible time isn’t normal and it’s not my fault that I’m trying to help you!” 

Mingyu felt like he had been punched. Seokmin had been trying to fix him? Like he was some broken toy or shattered piece of glass? Seokmin didn’t see him as a person. No. He just saw him as some weird charity case to fix. And that’s all he could see him as.

“So that was your plan all along? To be kinda okay, to get me to trust you, and then figure out a way to de-gay me?” 

Seokmin didn’t have anything to say after that. He kept looking at Mingyu, his mouth wide open and struggling to form any sort of cohesive thought. And watching him stand there stupidly only pissed Mingyu off even more. He was done, he could finally confidently say that. He asked Seokmin one final question and then he walked into the house determined that he wasn’t going to waste any more of his emotional labor on Seokmin, 

“You can’t even bring yourself to deny it can you… That’s alright cause I gotta go Seokmin.” 

***

Wonwoo can’t bring himself to look at Mingyu in the eye when he first starts explaining himself. He just stirs his tea and mumbles. But midway into his story when he realizes that he needs to own up to everything completely, he looks up into Mingyu’s eyes and says, 

“Sorry. Not just about lying and skipping class but for hurting you. I um… I didn’t leave because of a notification… I left because you told me you were gay and I didn’t know how to process I guess? Like it’s not something I even need to process because it’s not a big deal. I just panicked for some reason. I don’t even know why. I just did.” 

Mingyu nods at him, and Wonwoo isn’t sure if he’s really accepting his attempt at an apology so he adds, 

“I-I’m not homophobic. I’m really not. I just freaked out for some reason Gyu. And that’s on me.” 

 

Wonwoo’s face had turned a bright red and his eyes began to water. He wasn’t sure why but everything seemed hard all of a sudden. Tears began to slip down his face and Mingyu could tell they were sincere. Those emotions were so raw, and Mingyu saw himself in them. He saw his fourteen year-old self wondering if he was gay, wondering if that was really okay and wondering if he could ever be loved. And even though he knew that Wonwoo wasn’t struggling with his sexuality, part of him couldn’t help but wonder if that was part of the reason Wonwoo freaked out. But he had to silence that part because right now Wonwoo needed him. Mingyu hushed his voice, and pulled Wonwoo into a hug, 

“It’s okay Wonwoo, it’s okay…” 

Wonwoo just looked at him with his watery eyes and wrapped his thin arms around Mingyu. Mingyu’s body felt so impossibly warm against his and he just wanted to stay there. He could feel himself melt into Mingyu embrace, and for some reason he felt safe. Safe enough to whisper, 

“I missed you? Is that weird?” 

Mingyu let out a soft chuckle near his ear and Wonwoo could feel his smile, 

“No it isn’t. I missed you too.” 

“So are we… good?” 

Wonwoo’s words came out the nervous and quiet. They were hesitant and Mingyu could feel that he really didn’t want to be rejected. It took Mingyu a couple minutes to say anything back. Not because he wasn’t sure of his answer, but because he wanted to say it with 100% honesty. He wanted the words to stick the first time,

“Yeah, we are.” 

And the rest of that night Wonwoo and Mingyu caught up on lost time. It had only been a couple days, but both of them were craving each other's presence. Wonwoo helped Mingyu with the Chemistry that he had missed out on and Mingyu did the same with Art. They naturally fell into something more real than what they had before. Wonwoo and Mingyu’s relationship had fundamentally changed for the better that evening. The only thing that Wonwoo didn’t understand was why he couldn't get that hug out of his mind, or why he left his house wanting to be hugged by Mingyu again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so meanie's finally back! I'm excited for thing to be fluffier from now on. And don't worry guys Seokmin will get redemption. I wouldn't just let him be a colossal dick you know? 
> 
> Also sorry for the super late update I've been super unmotivated :P I'm not sure if y'all are liking this fic? I've been putting a lot of time into this but I don't want to continue if you don't like it and would rather see shorter oneshots and stuff. I wrote super short soonhoon one-shot and idk if you'd rather see stuff like that? I have plenty of ideas for fics but I need to know if you want to see this story finish before I commit to another long work, or just short oneshots. 
> 
> EDIT: i've decided to continue thanks for everyone who commented! i didn't realize people were excited to see where this goes, but thank you SO much for being patient with my wishy washy ass. i
> 
> Sorry to be emo but as usual, 
> 
> Playlist: [here](http://suan.fm/mix/10s4NfX).  
> Tumblr: [@bronzegyu](http://bronzegyu.tumblr.com/)  
> Beta: [@nachoshi](http://nachoshi.tumblr.com/)


	9. Growing on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu’s fashion sense is still tragic and Wonwoo is determined to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something's wrong with the formatting in this chapter, sorry! I'm trying to figure it out and hopefully it'll be fixed soon.

There was this warm feeling lingering all over Wonwoo’s skin. He felt it crawling sort of pleasantly even as he got home from Mingyu’s house. And that feeling wouldn’t go away even when he got home. In fact, it settled in comfortably and stayed around when Wonwoo set down his bag by his desk in his room and checked his phone to find a message from Mingyu. 

**Mingyu:** _you got home safe right?_

Wonwoo smiled. He didn’t know that Mingyu had this soft, motherly side to him. But it was sweet, maybe even cute. He felt it hit him right in the chest and radiate outwards all throughout his body. Wonwoo didn’t know that five words from Mingyu could affect him so deeply but they did. And although he wanted to message Mingyu back immediately, Wonwoo tried to wait a couple minutes before he responded. But Wonwoo oddly became impatient and not before long, he replied, 

**Wonwoo:** _What are you worried?_

Mingyu replied almost immediately. It was clear he wasn’t even trying to stretch out the time before he responded. Wonwoo could only quirk his eyebrows and suppress a bit of a smile when he thought about Mingyu sitting around waiting for his response and then immediately jumping to respond when he got it. 

**Mingyu:** _...shut upppp_

 **Wonwoo:** _lol I got home fine Gyu._

**Mingyu:** _good to know_

And the conversation should have ended with that, but it didn’t. Wonwoo kept messaging Mingyu, and he didn’t mind at all. The two of them kept bantering back and forth. Every once in awhile, Mingyu would let out a chuckle at his phone screen and Wonwoo was often stuck rolling his eyes at whatever dumb thing Mingyu had to say. It was important to note that Wonwoo had completely caved. he was responding immediately to Mingyu’s messages. 

He couldn’t help it really. 

The rules to friendship he had constructed in his head seemed so irrelevant with Mingyu. Everything about their friendship was weird and didn’t make any rational sense to Wonwoo. But all of it felt right. And Wonwoo figured he couldn't ask for anything more. 

The next couple weeks felt like one of those movie montages to Wonwoo. The days got shorter as colder fall weather crept into their town. The leaves turned all different shades of brown and scattered around the perfect suburbia that was their little Midwestern town. Mingyu loved how it looked outside. He claimed the messy leaves reminded him that their town was not neat and perfectly picturesque all the time. Wonwoo, on the other hand, hated the shedding leaves because they seemed to clutter up the roads and simply existed to give him more work to do. Those were the kind of silly arguments the two of them would have when they walked around town enjoying eachother’s company. 

One Friday, Wonwoo walked over to Mingyu’s house because Mingyu wanted to take him out to get coffee. When he got to his house Wonwoo saw Mingyu sitting against the side of his car and drawing something in his black sketchbook. A little smile wormed its way on Wonwoo’s face as he watched Mingyu for a safe distance. Mingyu looked completely calm and fulfilled with his sketchbook. Even the thought of it made a warm heat crawl into Wonwoo’s cheeks. 

Mingyu could see Wonwoo starting at him. Sure he was a solid ten yards away from him, but Mingyu had kind of been watching him. He was pretty sure Wonwoo hadn’t noticed but Wonwoo had caught his eye almost as soon as he turned onto Mingyu’s street. 

It was picture-esq. Wonwoo was wearing a light blue sweater, dark skinny jeans and had a light grey knit beanie pulled over his hair because it was rather chilly outside. And the street he was walking on looked gorgeous. The trees were semi-bare and the leaves were cluttered along the path Wonwoo was taking towards Mingyu. Mingyu’s view was perfect, and as an aspiring artist, Mingyu felt like he would be doing a disservice if he didn’t at least do a quick line sketch of the Wonwoo walking down the street. When Wonwoo stopped in the middle of the street, Mingyu was grateful because he was able to get a better look at all of Wonwoo’s angles. He noticed how even from a distance you could tell that Wonwoo’s features were pointedly sharp, and the overall elegance and strength in his stance was present. He let out a soft breath when he was finished rushing up his quick base sketch, making sure to close up his sketchbook before Wonwoo got too close and asked him about it. 

It took Wonwoo a couple moments to realize he had been starting at Mingyu. His face got hotter when he realized how long he had been staring and pulled himself together and started briskly walking towards Mingyu once again. When he got close enough to Mingyu he noticed what he was wearing. He smiled a bit and squinted to make sure his eyes weren’t lying to him. 

Mingyu was wearing a paint stained denim jacket over one of the countless sweatshirts he owned. The jacket looked super old. Older than the sweatshirts that Mingyu wore to school which was saying something. And the paint stains weren’t subtle, or there for purely fashion reasons. Nope. They looked like actual paint stains from an actual paint project of some sort. It kind of bothered Wonwoo, but at this point, Mingyu’s questionable fashion sense had grown on him. The jacket was endearing in a dorky Mingyu kinda way, but that wouldn’t stop him from making fun of it. 

“Mingyu, that denim looks older than both of us why do you even have it?” 

“I found it in my dad’s closet, and I appreciate the aesthetic.” 

Wonwoo laughed and looked Mingyu dead in the eye before he said, 

“Gyu–you know nothing about aesthetic.” 

“Yes I do!” 

Mingyu could get quite defensive about his fashion, but Wonwoo didn’t care. Mingyu was literally sitting on the ground wearing a totally atrocious outfit staring up at him like a little kid, and Wonwoo wanted to egg him on even further, 

“I guess you know about aesthetic if aesthetic is wearing the same comfortable ratty garments over and over…” 

Mingyu’s face turned a flustered sort of deep red as he struggled to come back with something.

“Well… Wonwoo your aesthetic isn’t much better. You’re wearing a basic grey knit beanie.” 

Wonwoo scoffed, Mingyu was lame and he liked his beanie. 

“I’ve told you it keeps my ears warm Gyu!” 

And the way Wonwoo said that was so pure that it made Mingyu laugh. He threw his head back slightly, and his giggles seemed to ring in Wonwoo’s ears. 

Mingyu had sort of shifted his position on the floor. He had brought his knees up towards his face and looked like he was about to try and get up off the floor in a very uncomfortable position. So instead, Wonwoo, without even thinking about it, reached out his hand to Mingyu a help up. Mingyu’s hand was rough and calloused around the fingers, and Wonwoo gently brushed over the callouses with his own nimble fingers. A faint but fire-y sort of energy seemed to rush into Wonwoo’s body and he immediately let go of Mingyu’s hand once he had made sure he was steady standing up. Wonwoo cleared his throat and avoided meeting Mingyu’s eyes, silently hoping that the breathless feeling he had was a byproduct of the cold autumn evening. 

The car ride over to the place Mingyu was taking Wonwoo to wasn’t very long. It was only a fifteen-minute drive but they were going to an area of town Wonwoo hadn’t ever been to. The ride was quiet but not at all awkward. Mingyu had rolled down the windows when he noticed that Wonwoo had his nose pressed up against the glass looking out the windows. It was thus a bit colder but it was worth it Mingyu’s opinion. Every couple minutes he’d look over at Wonwoo to make sure he was fine and smile when he realized Wonwoo was more than content looking out at the street. Occasionally their eyes would briefly meet and Wonwoo’s face would turn a remotely pink, but Mingyu told himself it was just the cold air. Sometimes Wonwoo would whisper and point out a particularly pretty house or hit Mingyu’s arm to get his attention when he saw a fluffy puppy or something. And Mingyu would chuckle and remind him that he had to keep his eyes on the road. 

When they finally stopped driving, Wonwoo realized Mingyu had brought him a coffee shop he had never been to. It was one of those totally cliche, hipster coffee shops that Mingyu loved. Wonwoo, to be fair, thought they were a bit over hyped but he didn’t care that much as long as he was with Mingyu, so he followed him inside. 

“What are you going to drink?” 

Wonwoo looked over the menu at the coffee shop Mingyu had taken him to and shrugged. He wasn’t really much of a coffee drinker and all the strangely named drinks intimidated him. Mingyu, on the other hand, seemed like he knew exactly what he was doing. He didn’t even glance at the menu, he was just waiting for Wonwoo to pick something. Wonwoo looked back up at the menu that was tastefully written on a chalkboard of some sort and sighed, 

“Umm, honestly I don’t know.” 

Mingyu looked over and chuckled, he never ceased to find it funny when Wonwoo was overwhelmed at the simplest things. Mingyu kind of pouted his lips and looked over at the menu that Wonwoo was looking at intensely–it looked like he was studying it or trying to memorize it all at once or something. 

It took Mingyu a couple seconds to find what he was looking for and then asked, 

“Can I pick something for you then?” 

Wonwoo playfully narrowed his eyes as if to express his doubt in Mingyu’s suggestion, but when Mingyu looked back at him with an offended expression, his face naturally cracked into a smile and laughed as he said,

“Yeah sure Gyu.” 

“Well I am a strong opponent of mochas because they aren’t _really_ coffee, but you don’t seem to be a coffee person so get the mocha here.” 

Wonwoo rolled his eyes and stepped up to the counter, a bit nervous to order. The barista working had a bunch of tattoo’s all over her arms and a very bold septum piercing. She had that intimidating hipster vibe going on and Wonwoo cleared his throat because for some reason he felt nervous ordering. Mingyu quickly noticed that Wonwoo had lost his words and placed his hands on Wonwoo's shoulder and moved him over to the side as he stepped up to order their drinks. His voice was confident and casual. The way he ordered was absolutely seamless and he even said something to make the barista chuckle. Wonwoo thought it was unfair that a single person could be so likable, but at this point in their friendship, he had accepted it. When Mingyu was done ordering he looked over at Wonwoo, playfully smirking as he caught Wonwoo frowning like a little kid. 

Mingyu muttered a couple words of a fake apology and that got Wonwoo to crack a bit of a smile. Wonwoo then led Mingyu over to where he wanted to sit. He had picked a table in an isolated corner of the shop to sit at. It was a tiny table with the perfect amount of space to squeeze their two chairs next to each other and set their studying stuff down. 

The two of them had made it a habit of coming to coffee shops like the one they were at to study. Mingyu loved them, and when he found out that Wonwoo had never explored the coffee shops in town, he made it his duty to give him a tour of all of them. He knew all the coffee spots in town because he donated lots of his art to them. It was a good deal, the shop got creds for decorating using local artists, and his name got displayed in a place that art snobs (aka potential buyers) frequented. In exchange, the coffee shop would give him free coffee.

When their drinks were called, Mingyu ran over to the bar to grab them and in that time, Wonwoo got out a text book and some headphones. He actually wanted to get some studying done. When Mingyu walked over he pouted a bit when he saw that Wonwoo wanted to be productive but decided to be a good friend and let him focus. He sets down their respective drinks on the table, hung his denim jacket on the back of his chair and slumped down in his seat. He sipped on his own drink and thought about what he should do. 

What he wanted to do was work on that drawing he had started earlier but he didn't want Wonwoo to see it so instead he chose to watch Wonwoo study. He later realized that was also kind of creepy, but in the end, it didn’t matter because Mingyu was obsessed with Wonwoo’s ability to focus. Wonwoo looked like he was on cloud nine reading the textbook and quietly scribbling notes when he found something important. Wonwoo had taken his beanie off so his hair was ruffled and a couple stray hairs danced right above his nose but even that didn’t seem to stop Wonwoo. He still was completely absorbed in whatever he was studying. 

After a few moments of Mingyu watching him, however, it was clear he wasn’t actually that absorbed. Wonwoo held back a smile when he caught Mingyu staring at him with a goofy expression plastered on his face and scooted closer to him handing over a headphone. Mingyu’s elbow somehow became pressed against Wonwoo’s arm, and he would be lying to himself if he didn't feel his heart beat a little faster in his chest. Wonwoo can feel the mood shift too. All of a sudden the coffee shop melted into the background, and all he could focus on was Mingyu. Mingyu smelled good, like a mix of freshly ground coffee and the lavender soap he’d confessed to using. Wonwoo almost felt dizzy as he took all of it in. His insides getting all gooey like roasted marshmallows from a dreamy summer evening. And as Wonwoo was starting to embrace that feeling he was pulled out of it by Mingyu. 

“Of course you’re a freakin’ music snob Wonwoo, I can’t believe I didn’t sniff you out before.” 

Wonwoo sighed, he didn’t believe listening to his alternative rock playlist made him a music snob, 

“What am I a piece of meat for you to sniff out?”

Wonwoo asked his question completely serious, and Mingyu stared at him and then laughed when he realized Wonwoo hadn’t picked up on his accidental sexual innuendo. Wonwoo realized the implication of what he said when Mingyu couldn’t stop giggling so he tried to shift the conversation away from where it was heading almost immediately. But it was hard for him to string a sentence together when his face was all hot and his hands were starting to get sweaty so the best thing he managed to mutter is, 

“Well... uhh… what kind of music do you listen to then?” 

Mingyu quickly pulled out his phone and started playing his Girls Generation playlist. He was eagerly waiting for Wonwoo to say something positive but instead he watched with a look of mild horror flash over his face. 

“What the crap Gyu, aren’t they all like 30?” 

Mingyu immediately got defensive. He was a firm believer that absolutely no one, not even Wonwoo, should be allowed to trash talk Girls Generation. Mingyu was clearly annoyed, but Wonwoo wasn’t able to take him very seriously because he sort of looked like an agitated puppy. When Wonwoo started to giggle while looking at Mingyu’s expression, he finally said something, 

“Late 20’s Wonwoo, and besides it’s not like I find them attractive,” he said openly gesturing to himself, “I only like their music.”  
Wonwoo stared at him a bit, and Mingyu quickly added, 

“You can’t tell me Gee isn’t a jam.” 

And Wonwoo shrugged, knowing it’s not worth it to playfully pick a fight with Mingyu about this. And part of him even thought it was kind of cute that an 18 year old kid, packed full of artistic talent, who grew up after the Girls Generation era, thousands of miles away, loved them so much. Mingyu was still full of surprises, and with everything Wonwoo discovered, he become more and more fascinated with everything about Mingyu. 

When Wonwoo was finished an adequate amount of studying that day, he turned over to see that Mingyu had started doodling in a random page of his sketchbook to pass the time. When he came to a stopping point, Wonwoo asked the question he had on his mind, 

“So why’d you bring me here?” 

Mingyu blinked at him a couple times as he processed the question and Wonwoo watched. He was stuck wondering how he had never noticed how long think Mingyu’s eyelashes were. He watched on as Mingyu shrugged for his answer and settled back into silence. But Wonwoo still had a question so he awkwardly tapped Mingyu’s shoulder to get his attention and then asked, 

“Do you bring all your friends here?” 

Mingyu seemed to think about his question for a minute before his face split into a mischievous grin and then turned into a soft chuckle. When he saw Wonwoo quirking a brow at him he took a quick breath and explained, 

“Well, I’ve brought all the boys I like here.” 

Wonwoo choked on a sip of the mocha Mingyu had picked out for him, which he liked by the way, and Mingyu gave him some water to help settle him down. Mingyu was suppressing a couple giggles, but it was obvious even he was off caught guard with his response. Mingyu’s usually golden skin was flushed a bright glowy red and he could barely bring himself to make eye contact with Wonwoo. And Wonwoo too was bright red. His blush was a shocked fire engine red and he felt like he was radiating heat as if his cheeks were Mingyu’s tea kettle. After a couple of awkward beats trying to get accustomed to the silence, Mingyu said, 

“You know how I told you about how I went to the art school to be closer to my dad?” 

Mingyu’s voice came out soft, and solemn. He didn't sound sad but hurt was weaved through his words. Wonwoo made sure to face towards Mingyu nodding, silently indicating that he was actually listening and Mingyu got the hint. 

“Well, I didn't just go to be with him. I also went there because I needed space to figure myself out you know? I knew I was gay and stuff but I was scared to be myself.” 

Mingyu’s voice was more confident now. He found some ease in Wonwoo’s supportive eyes. 

“So there was this guy at art school who was really cute and really nice. His name was James, which is super boring, but he was my first real crush where I knew what was going on. I came here with him once.” 

Mingyu took his time mulling over something in his head before he spoke next. He didn’t seem afraid, but he was nervous to put himself out there. 

“At Glendale I felt like being gay was wrong but at the art school everyone was fine with it. And even though James didn’t like me like that he never made me feel bad for liking him in that way. It was nice.” 

Wonwoo wasn’t sure what to say. He felt guilty, even if it was only for a few days, that he made Mingyu feel like that. But something felt odd about what Mingyu was saying about James. Like it made sense but it hadn’t hit him in the heart yet. Unconsciously Wonwoo’s brows started to furrow and after a couple moments he said, 

“I don’t think I’ve ever really had a crush on anyone.” 

Mingyu raised his brows in surprise and asked, 

“What do you mean?” 

Wonwoo swallowed and his brows stayed knit together. Like he was thinking as hard as humanly possible. 

“Like… I’ve never really had feelings for a girl ever really. Like I can tell when a girl’s pretty but I’ve never wanted much more I guess…” 

Wonwoo looked over at Mingyu who looked like Wonwoo had just told him he was an alien or something and then quickly added, 

“That’s crazy isn’t it.” 

Mingyu’s eyes immediately widened and he said, 

“Uh… No. It’s not crazy. I get it.” 

Wonwoo nodded but wasn’t sure if he entirely believed what Mingyu was saying. Mingyu was trying to hide his suspicions but he was particularly bad at hiding how he felt from his face. His brain, no matter how hard he tried to avoid thinking about it, lingered on a singular question. 

_Could Wonwoo be gay?_

To distract himself, Mingyu started packing his stuff and suggested the two of them start leaving. And as he was throwing his stuff into his backpack the fog surrounding his little coffee get together with Wonwoo seemed to clear away. The whole time, things felt good, but now he was wondering if they were being almost too boyfriend. He chose Wonwoo’s drink, and their banter was a little more alive than usual. When they started talking things got intense quickly, but it felt natural. It became close, personal, and intimate in moments. But Wonwoo didn’t seem to mind, he kind of embraced it. Even now he realized how close his knees were to Wonwoo’s. They had been slowly decreasing the distance between each other the whole time. It would only take a quick bit of courage, a temporary lapse in judgement, and moving his hands an inch for them to connect with Wonwoo’s. But Mingyu was stuck wondering if that would really even be a lapse of judgement. 

And as Mingyu walked around the coffee shop looking for a trashcan, he was still thinking about everything. He was walking around in circles and Wonwoo watched from a distance, grinning to himself. Mingyu was distracted. It was painfully obvious and Wonwoo felt like it wasn't a good idea to ask him about it. So instead he decided to make fun of Mingyu’s fashion sense as they walked back to his car in an attempt to take Mingyu’s mind off of whatever he was thinking about, 

“You look like a denim blob Gyu.” 

“What does that even mean?” 

“I mean your whole body, like, gets lost in jeans you wear.” 

Mingyu let out a long semi-frustrated breath and rolled his eyes, 

“Fine, take me shopping then.” 

“Shopping? Like right now?” 

Mingyu laughed at how shocked Wonwoo seemed with his suggestion. In the matter of seconds he watched Wonwoo’s general expression switch from completely collected to wide-eyed and surprised. 

“Yeah right now. Where should we go?” 

Wonwoo looked at Mingyu seeing if his seriousness would falter, but when it didn’t he chuckled and said, 

“The mall by our house is a good place to start.” 

When they get to the mall, Mingyu is reminded why he basically shopped out of his dad’s closet. He hated the mall. It was loud, there were too many stores, and the music they played was awful. Wonwoo could see the panic in Mingyu’s eyes as soon as they walked into the mall so he tried to calm Mingyu down by directing him into the nearest department store. Mingyu’s first instinct was to wander aimlessly around the store looking at plates, and bedding, and a bunch of other stuff he wouldn’t need until he had his own house, but Wonwoo dragged him over to the Men’s department and directly into the denim section. 

Mingyu had no idea there were so many different types of pants. There was straight cut jeans, boot cut, skinny fit and then there was a million different other words for slacks. In the past, Mingyu had just put on pants and if they fit, they worked. But now he had no idea what to do, look at, or where to start. Luckily, Wonwoo saved him. He had a stack of black jeans piled up in his arms, and he was marching over towards Mingyu. He kind of stuck out his arms as if to offer Mingyu the pants as a sort of peace offering and said, 

“Here, try these on. I had to guess on the size but we can start from here.” 

Mingyu nodded, kind of bummed that Wonwoo had picked out 4 different pairs of pants for him to try on and followed Wonwoo to the fitting room. Wonwoo waited outside the fitting room and Mingyu went in with a pout on his face and tried on the first pair. The jeans were considerably tighter than anything he was used to wearing, but even he had to admit he looked pretty good in them. He stepped out of the changing room and said,  
“Wonwoo?” 

Wonwoo looked up from the waiting area magazine he had been busying himself with only to realize that Mingyu had _legs_. Well, he knew Mingyu had legs, but he didn’t know that they were so long, lean, and kind of muscular. The trashy jeans he usually wore hid all of that. Mingyu thought he noticed the tips of Wonwoo’s ears turning rosey, but he was pretty sure his mind was messing with him so he asked, 

“How do they look?” 

Wonwoo cleared his throat, and moved his eyes around to try and hide that he had been staring as he said, 

“Good. Erm... I mean they look fine. Do they feel okay?” 

Mingyu smiled and nodded, more than just Wonwoo’s ears seemed to glow a pretty pink now. He turned around to change, excited that he didn’t have to do more shopping but then he remembered something. He stuck his head and part of his torso out of the fitting room and asked, 

“We still have to find a replacement for my denim jacket right?” 

Wonwoo thought about it for a couple seconds, taking his time to come up with an answer. Then Mingyu watched Wonwoo’s face break out into the most earnest expression he had ever seen. His nose crinkled up and smile lines emphasized his mouth as he left out a giddy laugh as he said, 

“You know Gyu, it’s growing on me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all thank you to everyone who’s stuck with this fic, especially because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue. You guys all really encouraged and motivated me to go on. I loved reading what you had to say and it really does mean a lot to me and most fic writers. <3 <3 <3 
> 
> I hope that you guys like the tone of this chapter. It’s light and happy for once. I’m having fun writing Meanie, but tbh it was a lot harder writing fluff because I’m so used to angst. As always, feel free to talk to me in the comments or on tumblr!
> 
> Playlist: [here](http://suan.fm/mix/10s4NfX).  
> Tumblr: [@bronzegyu](http://bronzegyu.tumblr.com/)  
> Beta: [@kwoshi](http://kwoshi.tumblr.com/)


	10. All I want for Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu, Wonwoo and Seokmin's past and present collide. Somehow Vernon and Seungkwan find themselves stuck in the middle. 
> 
> {also if it's been awhile, rereading from chapter 8 helps contextualize this chapter}

Seokmin was stuck. Maybe even stunned. Mingyu has shut his door on him and he was standing, alone on his now former (?) best friend’s porch. And that’s about as much as Seokmin could process. Seokmin knew his relationship with Mingyu had been… contentious the last few weeks, but he didn’t think Mingyu would just end it. And now that Seokmin kind of got what he wanted, a version of his life where Mingyu wasn’t his friend, he started to panic. 

You could almost see his mind spiraling. Moments ago he was confronting Mingyu, trying to blame him for his ruined night but something in Seokmin’s eyes has shifted. They went from being sharp and focused and completely blinded by balled up hate to being a hazy sort of panicked in seconds. In just moments Seokmin had lost his best friend, but he also lost something else. He lost the hate that was driving him to act like a total maniac. And now he was stuck staring at himself and hating who he had become and what he had done to Mingyu. And that didn’t feel right. Seokmin couldn’t process that. He couldn’t process that he had turned into a monster. He couldn’t process that he had lost his best friend. He couldn’t process what the evil in his heart drove him to do, and how it didn’t make him feel any better. And suddenly, as all of the things he couldn’t process started piling up and weighing down on his conscious, the floor under him started to drip and ooze, and he felt numb. It was like he floated out of his body, and was stuck staring at his physical form unable to recognize where it stood.

But he had to start moving again, so he started walking slowly towards his house, taking his time, and trying to forget. Seokmin just felt foggy. He had been pushing his feeling of guilt to the back of his mind for weeks. It took him years to build his relationship up with Mingyu, and in one swift action, all of that seemed to melt away from existence and dismally drip down until it pooled around Seokmin’s ankles like sad dirty water. 

He was stuck staring at the sky to keep his sanity, but the sort of calming deep ink blue of the night sky seemed to disappear as Seokmin made his way closer to the street he lived on. As his house came into view he couldn't help but notice the way the harsh neon streetlights eerily illuminated his house. The light jolted his body and mind into being conscious again. Seokmin was aware of what was happening again, and he knew he had to deal with what was happening around him. He knew he was staring at the one thing that could make him feel more fucked up than he already felt–his house. 

Avoiding his own home had become normal to Seokmin. It was a skill he had picked up in the last couple of years. He couldn’t trace back when he first started distancing himself from his home, it just happened subconsciously. Any good memories he had of his home were tucked away in the deepest crevesases of his brain, and Seokmin hadn’t tried to access them in many years. The concept of a loving home seemed foreign. In the beginning he had some hope, that maybe one day things would get better. When he felt the tension at home plateau for a bit, he’d get his hopes up to only then spend a night tossing and turning in bed, trying to ignore his parent’s arguments and feeling in the base of his being that things were only going to get worse. 

That day Seokmin was stuck standing in front of his home unable to go in. He could feel faint vibrations coming from the sound of arguing in his house. He wasn’t in the mental space to go inside, but he didn’t have any other options either. Seokmin’s house never felt like a home, and he lost the thing he had that felt closest to home that night. He didn’t have Mingyu anymore. He didn’t have anyone. 

Seokmin wanted that day to be like one of the many days he slipped into the backdoor of his house running straight to his bedroom, completely unnoticed. Seokmin usually slipped into the house unnoticed. It had become habit and he proceeded to enter the house like he did most days, entering through the back door, and shutting the door softly as if it was reflex. But it wasn’t. Nothing about that night was normal in any way. 

Seokmin’s father’s snake like voice slithered down into the living from from his parent’s upstairs bedroom and infected the room he was standing in with toxic energy. But at this point Seokmin was more than used to it. It used to be that when he walked inside his home the kind of tension he felt right now would rattle him. If he thought hard enough he could feel that same feeling of complete helplessness again. But he didn’t want to, and he didn’t have to anymore. He was so used to the tension it didn’t startle him at all. Those times he used to be frightened–everything, his mind, his body, his entire being was consumed with uncertainty. It used to keep him up twisting his mind into knots late at night, not knowing if he should let his mom know the walls were thin and he could hear her soft sobbing. But after years of pain, Seokmin had learned to ignore all of that. He developed a new normal. His new normal was one where he reframed his mind, messily boxing up pain and careful to lock it away in an isolated part of his brain. 

And Seokmin’s really fucked up way of dealing with stuff worked most of the time, but that was not one of those nights. That night, as Seokmin sat at the kitchen table, letting the sounds of his parents argument float around him but not paying attention, something changed. His father’s voice got loud, louder than it usually was, 

“You aren’t thinking of Seok. He’s… _our_ son.” 

There was an extra emphasis on “our”, it was angry but it also sounded like Seokmin’s father was pleading somehow. Seokmin’s mom didn’t say anything for a long time. It couldn’t have been more than a minute but for the first time in years Seokmin felt scared again. Silence wasn’t something he was used to. The silence took him all the way back to when he was a kid, when he the arguments started. When he first started to put the fragments of their arguments and pieced together that his mother didn’t love his father. In fact she was pretty sure she didn’t like any men. She liked women. 

Seokmin had lost himself in old memories, and all of a sudden old fears started to seem new again. He had stopped listening to his parents arguments, he missed his mother’s quiet but thoughtful reply to his father and he also didn’t hear his mother calling his name out until it was too late and she was already coming down the stairs. 

“Seokmin?” 

His mother sounded scared almost. Her voice was what snapped him out of his trance and his eyes met hers. Behind the shocked glaze that swept her eyes there was something he rarely ever saw on her face–pain. He tried to look up at her but meeting her eyes was difficult. His mouth hung open and he didn’t know what to say. His mother spoke first, 

“Did you hear us, Seok? I don’t want you to worry we were just arguing...” 

That’s when Seokmin stopped listening for the second time. He was angry. Angry that he lost Mingyu. Angry that he had to live in a house where his parents were always fighting. But most of all he was angry that his own mother had spent years lying to him. He couldn’t put up with it anymore. His vision got fuzzy and everything surrounding him turned red hot and a blurry. Before he could stop himself he shouted, 

 

“Shut up!” 

His mother stopped talking and looked baffled. The pain behind her eyes shifted into something more like sadness and she started to say something but Seokmin cut her off, angry, sad-confused–tears ran down his face, and he started to whisper, 

“I know you’re gay but that doesn’t matter. I just– I just want all of this to be over.” 

That’s when Seokmin’s mother started to cry too. A million questions popped into her brain. 

 

_How long has he known. Why didn’t he tell me he knew. Was trying to hide all of this from him a good idea?_

 

But in that moment none of it mattered. She pushed every single question aside and focused on what mattered. Her son. He was her family. Gay or not she couldn’t justify any of this longer. When she looked at Seokmin crying big fat tears, the kind that came out after they had been held in for a long time. The kind of tears filled with sorrow, and the kind she knew all too well, her heart broke into even more little pieces. She was staring at the only boy she had ever truly loved, and for the first time, she realized that she was causing pain to the one she loved the most in life. 

This time she didn’t rush to say anything. She just pulled Seokmin close in a tight hug and let Seokmin wipe his tears in the crook of her shoulder as she patted his back to calm down. Once his breathing had evened out and his body felt calm. She pulled away, looking her son straight in the eyes, 

“I’m going to get help. I’m getting rid of this… this whole gay thing... I just want us to be happy Seok. That’s all I want for us.” 

***

Something was up with Wonwoo. Vernon could tell. He hadn’t known Wonwoo for very long, but Vernon felt like they had an established sense of camaraderie. When Jun said something particularly stupid Wonwoo would lock eyes with Vernon first, and Vernon would hold in a chuckle before nodding his head and prompting Wonwoo to roll out a snarky comment. Vernon could count on Wonwoo making a stop at his locker in the morning, and Vernon would take out his headphones for a second- just to offer Wonwoo a bit of gooey oatmeal or whatever weird thing he was eating before class. It was through those seemingly mundane everyday moments that Vernon had gotten to know Wonwoo, and had lead him to pick up on the faint bends and dips of Wonwoo’s personality. 

Vernon never really said much about these shifts in Wonwoo’s personality. Even noticing them seemed to feel like an invasion of Wonwoo’s privacy. But subconsciously Vernon carelessly stored the information in his mind. The slight shifts in Wonwoo’s personality didn’t ever worry Vernon til a day a week ago. He could just feel something from Wonwoo that he didn’t know what to make of. The only way Vernon could describe it was that Wonwoo was _sad_. But that word also didn’t capture exactly what Vernon was getting from Wonwoo. There was a general sense of gloom that followed him around for a couple days. And it was expressed subtly, through light lipped responses and a vacant stares behind the smudged glass of his silver specs. Vernon wasn’t sure if he should say anything, he had just begun to get to know Wonwoo and he didn’t want to overstep boundaries, but he couldn’t ignore that something was off. Vernon tried to crack a few extra jokes those days but he couldn’t get much out of Wonwoo other than a half hearted and half hearted smile aimed at the floor. But that only lasted a couple of days, and when Vernon saw Wonwoo a week later, he was happier than he had ever been. His smiles seemed to be wider, and his eyes just seemed softer. Everything about Wonwoo seemed to relax. 

One morning a week or two after Vernon noticed Wonwoo had been generally cheery, Wonwoo came over to his locker to chat. Vernon offered to break a browning banana in half to share, Wonwoo smelled it, crinkled his face and declined. But Vernon didn’t notice the disgust in Wonwoo’s face and he a big bite of it anyways and dove right into a choppy, long winded explanation about the importance of soundtracks in films, 

“...like in Jaws, it’s all about that music ya’ know, the whole _dunnn dun… duuuuuun dun_ thing.” Vernon waited for some sort of indication that Wonwoo was listening before he realized he had gone on his _Jaws_ rant for no reason. Vernon had gotten so caught up in what he had been saying it took him 5 minutes into his rant to realize that Wonwoo was not paying attention. Wonwoo, was looking at his phone smiling. His face was flushed peach, reminiscent of a perfect spring day, and Vernon could tell he was biting back a smile. Impulsively driven by his annoyance that Wonwoo wasn’t listening to his rant, and Vernon, rather forcefully asked, 

“Wonwoo who are you texting?” 

The peachy undertones in Wonwoo’s complexion instantly switched to dark beet red, and his eyes widened in surprise. As Wonwoo looked up at Vernon, and started to freeze up while Vernon could see him trying to formulate a response that could salvage him from his embarrassment, 

“Uh... I was just texting Seokmin” 

Vernon rolled his eyes, Wonwoo was trying to lie to him, 

“Dude, you and Seokmin barely talk” 

“Stop asking me questions Vern!” 

Vernon scoffed. He had a hard time believing Wonwoo, but the pleading look Wonwoo gave him was enough to get Vernon to put his curiosities on hold for a little bit. He thought it was odd Wonwoo was lying, but he also felt that he shouldn’t pry. Something was pushed Vernon to let it go, he could feel that Wonwoo simply needed more time. So instead he shrugged, acted as though he couldn’t tell that anything was off and said, 

“Well, put your phone away and listen to what I’m saying now.” 

 

So Wonwoo listened, and groaned at the appropriate intervals as Vernon went off on his dumb _Jaws_ rant as they both headed over to Chemistry together. Once they got into the classroom Vernon headed to his seat in the back row of class and Wonwoo sat in his towards the front. Usually Vernon fell asleep within the first ten minutes of class but that say something caught his eye. Just before the bell rang, Mingyu rushed into class and sat in his usual spot, right in front of Wonwoo, but Wonwoo, instead of busying himself with homework, tapped Mingyu on the shoulder and waved. Even though he was far away from Wonwoo, Vernon could tell that his face was flushed that same peach color. Vernon felt a bit creepy just watching them talk but he couldn’t help but notice how happy Wonwoo looked. His laugh seemed to come from the base of his stomach and he looked like he was floating. Vernon felt a bit of his mind wondering, putting together pieces, and realizing that Wonwoo was probably texting Mingyu. 

 

_Wonwoo liking Mingyu would... explain a lot_

 

But moments later Vernon didn’t need to wonder anymore, his suspicions were confirmed as he, sort of creepily, watched Wonwoo and Mingyu interact. Mingyu was turned around backwards straining his back so he could look at Wonwoo while talking to him. And Wonwoo focused all of the attention he usually saved for Chem lectures on Mingyu. His body leaned in toward Mingyu’s and he had his face rested gently on the palm of his hand as he watched Mingyu try and explain the lesson they were going over in Chemistry. And unsurprisingly after hours Mingyu and Wonwoo spend studying and messing around with each other, Mingyu had learned the lesson well. Wonwoo let out a real, full smile and nodded to let Mingyu know he got the concept down. 

All Mingyu could do in response was stare. He was mesmerized by the way Wonwoo’s nose wrinkled into perfect creases as he smiled. It wasn’t the first time he had seen that smile but it was the first time he realized he wasn’t going to get tired of it any time soon. And just as he got caught up in that thought, Wonwoo moved his free hand to brush a stray strand of Mingyu’s hair out of his face. Mingyu’s face turned an embarrassed fiery orange as he turned around, partly to focus on lecture, but mostly so Wonwoo wouldn’t see his burning cheeks or the grin he couldn’t suppress. 

Vernon watched as Mingyu turned around and released the smile he had been holding back to himself and all Vernon could do was think, 

 

_Wonwoo’s whipped for his art tutor._

 

Throughout class Vernon kept getting distracted, well more distracted than usual. Usually he was thinking about what he videogame he was going to play after school, or what to eat for lunch. But today he felt like he wasn’t even in class anymore. He kept looking over at the lab table Mingyu and Wonwoo were at. He now noticed a million new things in every interaction he had with Wonwoo. He saw how every sly comment, every exasperated complaint and every lunch he ditched skipped lunch with him, Seokmin, Jun, and Woozi all twisted together to create a messy, yet obvious path that lead right up to Wonwoo naturally falling for Mingyu. As Vernon thought about all the little signs his lips quirked into an astonished amazed half smile. Vernon wondered how he could have been so oblivious to it all, now that it was laid out in front of him he couldn’t unsee any of it. But then remembered how quickly Mingyu turned around before letting himself smile and wondered if he had no idea. If somehow he, Hansol Vernon Chwe, had picked up on the fact the two of them were gay for eachother before they had figured it out themselves. He looked over at Mingyu and Wonwoo working at their lab table together, and it dawned upon him, the story didn’t make sense unless the two of them were somehow still utterly clueless. 

When the bell rang Vernon threw his stuff into his backpack and started to head out, but after a moment of quick thinking he headed back into the classroom over to where Wonwoo was waiting on Mingyu to finish packing up his bag so they could leave. 

“Hey Wonwoo,” Vernon asked, catching both Mingyu and Wonwoo’s attention. 

“Yeah?” 

“Do you want to come down and eat lunch in the library today?” 

 

Wonwoo didn’t hesitate for a second before he started shaking his head and mumbling some sort of excuse, 

“Uh- it’s all good I’m gonna do some art practice with Gyu, so-” 

Part of Mingyu winced as “art practice” escaped Wonwoo’s mouth. Mingyu and Wonwoo were not practicing art, at least to him. They were getting close. He couldn’t call their relationship a friendship, not because they didn’t know eachother well enough, but because the word felt as though it didn’t mean enough to encapsulate what Wonwoo meant to him. Mingyu felt the two of them were becoming a unit, inseparable in some ways, but separate in so many more. 

It felt to Mingyu as though outside of school, he got Wonwoo. He got to hear his wholesome giggles, his lame jokes, and all the snark that came with him. But inside school, apart from when they were in Chemistry or during their shared lunch breaks, Wonwoo orbited in a different universe than him. He had different friends, different attitudes, and he seemed to be a hollowed out version of himself. But still Vernon was genuinely sweet, and Wonwoo had called him Gyu and Mingyu had this lingering feel of guilt from taking Wonwoo away from his school persona so no matter how much it pained him, and how much he wanted Wonwoo to stay and share lunch with him, he said, 

“Wonwoo, you should go say hi to your friends,” 

Wonwoo looked down at Mingyu, he couldn’t see his face. What Wonwoo didn’t know was that Mingyu was hiding from him, he didn’t want Wonwoo to pick up on the looming unease and fear of rejection on his face. Wonwoo’s features dipped, something felt weird but he couldn't figure it out, and he didn’t know if he wanted to either. At this point he couldn’t hide the starting of a frown on his face and a scary thought, one rooted in years of self loathing, and insecurity came to his mind, 

 

_Does he not want me around?_

 

After a moment of awkward silence Vernon cleared his throat, “See ya around Mingyu,” and motioned for Wonwoo to follow him out of the classroom and to the library. Part of Wonwoo hoped Mingyu get up and follow them. He knew this lunch wasn’t going to be fun, but Mingyu’s presence seemed to make anything more enjoyable. 

Walking back into the library was strange for Wonwoo. As he walked in, everything seemed foreign, out of place and miserable. The very things that once helped Wonwoo feel less alone, a designated lunch table to sit at, a group of guys to hang out with, and the air of superiority that came with it all now made him feel sick to his stomach. As he got closer to the table where Seokmin, Jun and Jihoon were sitting, the more repulsed he felt with himself for giving all of those arbitrary, exclusionary things power over his life and how he saw himself. 

Wonwoo let Vernon lead the way to their table. Vernon could almost hear the dread emitting from Wonwoo’s general presence. His feet were dragging, his eyes were half closed, cold and dead. He looked like a different person than he way just half an hour ago, when laughing with Mingyu. Part of Vernon wanted to dismiss the way Wonwoo was acting as dramatism, but a tiny, yet persistent part of his brain told him that wasn’t it- Wonwoo wasn’t the kind of guy to act out of line for no reason. 

When the two of them got to the table, Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon were already settled in for lunch and this were just awkward. Seokmin was talking to Jun about some math assignment and Jihoon was listening intently. None of them really payed attention to Vernon and Wonwoo who had just walked up to the table to join them. Jihoon briefly glanced up at Vernon and Wonwoo and gave a curt, apprehensive head nod. Jun looked up at both Vernon and Wonwoo, said nothing and went back to his conversation with Seokmin like nothing had happened at all. But, unsurprisingly Seokmin’s reaction was the coldest. He didn’t even turn his head when the two of them neared the table. 

The tension in the air clung to the bookshelves and wrapped itself around their table, suffocating every last morsel of Wonwoo’s energy and swallowed up all his words. Vernon’s palms got a bit clammy but he was still hoping for the best and he was still able to produce sound unlike Wonwoo. Vernon could feel his voice cut the tension hanging in the air with every word he spoke, 

“Erm, hey guys, uh… Wonwoo’s back.” 

Seokmin finally looked up from what he was doing and gave a sly half smile to Vernon before he opened his mouth to say, 

“Looks like Wonwoo doesn't need art tutoring anymore huh.” 

Seokmin’s words were just as calm as they were piercing, lawful as they were chaotic. It was impossible to be that cruel unknowingly and it’s just pissed Wonwoo off. He was tired. Wonwoo wasn’t in the mood to fight that day. He help back his anger, his frustration and every fear that had slowly taken away a piece of him and attempted to let it go. But he couldn’t. His feelings were still there and for the first time in a long time, he couldn’t properly mask them any more so he responded quietly, his voice colored with his signature brand of nasty sarcasm, 

“Good to see you too.” 

And even as Seokmin heard the bite in Wonwoo’s words he couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t act as though everything was okay. There was something itching inside of him, a bit of anger that needed to be released, 

“I see you’ve distanced yourself from your _friend_ for today.” 

Vernon grimaced as Seokmin said “friend”. The way Seokmin’s voice climbed an octave higher, the way his unapologetic grin twisted his features, and small snicker Jun let escape his breath gave him one of the last pieces he needed to solve the mystery of Wonwoo’s mood swings- Seokmin knew. Or at least he had picked up on the clues as well. 

Wonwoo felt as if he was frozen for a second. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, and what Seokmin was implying, 

“...excuse me?” 

Now, Jun let out a full blown laugh. It was his turn to taunt, his pearly white teeth sparkled in the odd lighting of the library, and all Wonwoo could do was hope the lighting wouldn’t exaggerate the the redness in his now burning face, 

“Relax Wonwoo, it’s a joke. Don’t get your panties all in a twist.”

And that was the only thing Wonwoo needed to hear to confirm his suspicions. 

_They knew._

His body felt like collapsing. There were a million stimulants attacking him all at once. He registered the feeling of Vernon patting his shoulder, asking if he was okay, in the periphery of his mind. But it was Seokmin and Jun’s laughs that bounced back and forth in the front parts of his brain. At the same time a bunch of old memories came to him in bits as well. The first time he learned dance was for girls, the first time he realized he didn’t _actually_ think the popular girls were hot, and this first time he heard Mingyu’s high pitched giggle- but he couldn’t focus on any of that now. All he could do was focus on the red hot embarrassment burning through his veins, and prompting him to leave. But something in him, maybe it was spite, maybe a stroke of courage, forced Wonwoo to whisper one last thing before he grabbed his bag and left, 

“And you guys still wonder why I don’t sit with you guys.”

***

 

The day after homecoming felt like a hangover to Mingyu. Or at least what he imagined a hangover would feel like. As soon as he woke up he could feel his head throbbing and as he tried to eat the big plate of pancakes his mom laid out for him he had trouble finding an appetite. After a couple of bites of food Mingyu physically felt nauseous and he had excused himself back up to his room. He just needed some time alone to figure out how he was feeling. 

But there was a slight complication. Mingyu didn’t feel anything and that was what scared him. He had felt so many emotions, jumped from one emotional extreme to another in a single day but now all that emotion was just gone and he felt blank. What Mingyu didn’t understand yet was that his body was tired from going through so many emotions. In the last couple weeks he had cycled through so many emotional extremes, his body had cut off emotion in hopes of salvaging Mingyu’s sanity. It was just easier that way. 

The next day at school was a blur. Mingyu skipped every routine that was ingrained within him. He didn’t stop to say hi to Seokmin, Jun and Jihoon in the morning. The confident stride and smile he wore into school, that had been slowly eroding in the past couple weeks, was now officially completely gone. 

When Mingyu walked into his first class of the day, he immediately was reminded of what he was desperately trying to forget. The worst part of it all was Devi. Mingyu was struck how her eyes were beautiful as ever, two almond shaped orbs lined with perfect eyeliner, even as they looked at Mingyu like they detested his existence. Her gaze seemed to linger longer than the others. Most of his peers tried to steal subtle looks, and whisper quietly. But Devi was confident, she had no shame in staring at him. He deserved it. 

Mingyu sat in the first spot he saw open. It was closer to the front than his usual spot but Mingyu didn’t really care. He just wanted the room to stop feeling like it was rocking him back and forth, and sitting as soon as possible was the only thing Mingyu thought would do that. He was sitting next to a kid he had never talked to before, but he didn’t stare at Mingyu or bat an eyelash as he sat down. He had a round face, one that he couldn’t describe as anything but adorable, and dyed blond hair cut into a awkward bowl cut. He radiated a sense of familiarity, he reminded Mingyu of his cousins back in Korea, and focusing on him helped Mingyu remember to drink some water to calm himself down. That’s when he turned to Mingyu, and smiled a shy but sincere smile and chirped, 

“Hello, My name is Seungkwan?” 

His speech had a distinctly Korean lilt, and it sounded so pure that for a second Mingyu could only look at his smile. 

“Hi, uh I’m Mingyu. It’s nice to meet you.” 

“I know, you are well known around here.” 

Mingyu, in all honestly was taken aback by Seungkwan’s honesty. He bit his lip hesitating to be candid, before weakly saying, 

“Not for long…” 

Seungkwan looked at him a bit confused and shrugged, 

“But it does not matter does it. I don’t uh,” Seungkwan trailed off for a second trying to remember the right word before saying, “feel it’s importance.” 

Mingyu smiled shly. It was nice to know someone at the school didn’t care but that didn’t take away from the looks he was getting in that class alone. 

Since Seungkwan and Mingyu were sitting next to each other they ended up doing the class assignment together and finishing it before most of the class. The two of them just chatted about random things. It was awkward, but not horribly so. Just the kind of awkward that naturally followed conversations with new people. And that took Mingyu’s mind off of the stares and whispers for a bit but a natural lull in their conversation eventually came by and Mingyu again became anxious. He knew he probably seemed like a jerk for leaving Devi behind at the dance, but he also had a gut feeling that wasn’t what everyone was talking about. He turned to Seungkwan and just asked him, in an act of total desperation, 

“What is everyone talking about?” 

Seungkwan’s big round eyes got even bigger and he struggled to make eye contact with Mingyu for the first time since the two of them started talking. His eyes finally settled on a random spot on the floor and he very hesitantly said, 

“It is not, uhh good idea to say.” 

“So you know?” 

“No, I-I didn’t mean- I do not think you want to know.” 

“I don’t want to know. I need to know.” 

It took Seungkwan a minute to respond. He only now noticed that Mingyu had chewed a the bottom corner of his lips dry, and he couldn’t stop tapping his foot in anticipation. But it wasn’t those things that convinced him to tell him the truth, it was the real sort of sadness Mingyu was carrying under his eyes. Seungkwan exhaled a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, and his eyebrows naturally folded, creating a groove in the middle of his face. He still couldn’t bare to look into Mingyu’s eyes as he told him the truth, 

“Everyone is saying that you are gay...” 

Mingyu doesn’t even try to deny it. There just wasn’t a point anymore. He took the words in and managed to say, “Oh.” before he turned away from Seungkwan completely humiliated. 

Seungkwan’s words bumped around his head, jumbled up with every horrible thing Seokmin ever said to him, and every disgusting thing he heard said about gay people growing up.  
Once again his body was put into overdrive. Mingyu was feeling too much, all at once and breathing got difficult. He wanted so badly to run out of the classroom and just stop existing. Stop having to deal with everything and everyone but he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave without everyone staring and saying even more. He didn’t have any choices. All he could do was close his eyes, put his head down and wipe the tears he couldn’t stop from falling. 

Mingyu was the first one out of class when the bell rang. It was lunch break and he broke the one goal he had that day, not talking to Seokmin, and headed straight to the place he knew he could find him- the library. 

Mingyu could vaguely recall a lesson from Psychology about fight or flight instincts. All this time his instinct had told him to run away. To find a way to survive and nothing more. But something shifted in him completely that day. Every part of his body that was conditioned to run away flipped and pushed him to fight- to run towards Seokmin and not away from him. And that’s exactly did when he saw Seokmin, and the rest of them in the library. 

He wasn’t careful about his volume, he didn’t try and be polite he just spit out the words that were coming out. The words that had been balled up within him all week. The words he, in a stroke of blind, raging, fervor, found courage to spit out. 

“You told all of them? I trusted you Seok!” 

Seokmin looked at him confused. His weekend hadn’t been amazing either. His mom was getting ready to move out and “fix” herself, and he didn’t really want to fight with Mingyu anymore. 

“What are you screaming about Gyu?” 

“Everyone in this school knows I’m gay Seokmin.” 

“I didn’t-” 

“You did. You were the only one who knew!” 

Mingyu was crying now. But he didn’t look sad- just mad. Jun and Jihoon were shocked. They heard whispers this morning, but they didn’t think anything of it. They knew, or they thought they knew, Mingyu wasn’t gay. 

Seokmin’s voice was softer now. He didn’t know what to say. Even if though he had just been fighting Mingyu a couple days ago seeing him cry, reminded him that Mingyu was still, at least to him, kind of a friend. 

“I… I didn’t say anything. I swear.” 

“I don’t believe you.” 

Hearing that got Seokmin angry again, and the horrible part of himself that he hated, but couldn’t lock away came back out. 

“You don’t have to! But I did tell you this would happen eventually. I warned you. I told you to put up a better act and this is what you get for not listening to me.” 

“You didn’t need to fucking tell them Seok.” 

Seokmin was about to say something but Jun cut in- he was confused. 

“Woah, you think Seok told everyone?” 

“No one else knew Jun. It had to be him.” 

Jihoon was barely processing what was happening. The conversation was moving past and he needed clarification. 

“Wait.. so you’re actually gay?” 

Mingyu scoffed, chuckling at how Jun and Jihoon chose to defend Seokmin until the end. 

 

“Don’t act like Seok didn't tell you both before he told the whole damn school.” 

Seokmin was really angry now. And like Mingyu his emotions took over, he was in rage mode. 

“That’s the thing Mingyu. I didn’t tell _anyone_.”

“I have no reason to trust you Seok- I mean Seokmin.” 

“So that’s it? You’re just throwing everything, all those years, out because you won’t believe me?” 

“I’m not throwing anything away. I’m leaving the trash.” 

And that was it. Mingyu bolted, he walked out of the that horrible library, and straight to his the closest Korean restaurant he could think of. He walked in, found the table farthest in the back of the restaurant and ordered bibimbap with extra kimchi. He hoped to god no one could hear his ugly sobs over the sound of the loud music playing in the background.

When Mingyu got home he went straight into his room. He didn’t think his mom heard him come in and he didn’t really want to tell her either. He just wanted to lay down and be alone. But when got to his bedroom the door was cracked open and Seokmin was sitting on his bed, flipping through some old soccer pictures. 

“Get out.” 

Mingyu’s voice came out even, but it was obvious he could break, and lose his sanity at any moment. 

“I just need to fucking explain Gyu.” 

“No! No, you don’t get to do that! Leave.” 

But Seokmin doesn’t, instead he starts saying something and walks starts getting closer to Mingyu. And Mingyu couldn’t anymore. No part of his brain was thinking about reason. He had officially lost all patience and that’s when Mingyu punched Seokmin. Right in the nose. Mingyu had sort of blacked out and only was aware of what he had done when he hear the oddly satisfying crack of the cartilage, and Seokmin cursing in pain. 

Mingyu locked himself in his bathroom and washed the blood off his hands. 

_Breaking a nose is no joke_

Mingyu refused to come out until he was sure Seokmin left, no matter how much his mother yelled at him in Korean. Seokmin did what he could to calm her down, and left immediatly. He walked home with a broken nose and an Ice Pack from Mingyu’s house. 

Once he was sure that Seokmin was gone Mingyu came out of the bathroom. His mother was all over the place. She had lost all her motherly composure and started a panicked sort of rambling at Mingyu. He only caught bits of what she was saying.

“...You are so lucky Seokmin’s parents didn’t get you in trouble… what’s gotten into you two?” 

But Mingyu wasn’t really listening. He interrupted to ask, 

“Can I transfer?” 

*** 

Seungkwan noticed Mingyu wasn’t in class the next day, but he wasn’t the only one who noticed. Everyone was talking about Seokmin’s broken nose and how the rumors about Mingyu were true. That day in the class Seungkwan, Mingyu and Devi usually shared the teacher put them into groups and Seungkwan had to work with Devi and her friend Anne. The two girls didn’t even give Seungkwan a second glance as he came to their table to work on their project. Seungkwan wasn’t surprised, he had just moved from Korea this year and most of the school simply assumed he was really smart, and couldn’t understand a lick of English. But neither of those things were true. Seungkwan tried to ask how they were going to split the work up but Devi stopped him before he could even start. She over patronizingly explained to him that he was just going to do the project alone, and then turned to gossip with Anne. 

They must have assumed Seungkwan didn’t really understand English because Devi didn’t even attempt to hush her voice as she talked, 

“I can’t believe Mingyu is transferring.” 

Anne giggled, “When you started that rumor about him being gay I had no idea he would actually turn out to be gay!” 

 

Devi smirked, “I guess I lucked out. He didn’t know it was me, and he didn’t break my nose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot to say... 
> 
> First of thank you to everyone who has stuck with this fic. Every comment, kudos, and subscription means the world. I'm not joking when I say that stuff makes my day. It really does so thank you! And I would like to say this chapter exists because of y'all. I was going through a really rough time and I had to take an unexpected hiatus but it genuinely made me happy when I saw someone was reading. It's those messages that helped me feel better. The truth is mental health wise I've been in a rough spot and realizing even writing fic wasn't fun anymore helped me seek out help. And now I feel so much better. Writing now makes me happy and I couldn't say that for a good chunk of time. So thank you for helping me out. 
> 
> And now to discuss the chapter... I told y'all Seokmin would get some insight and redemption. I hope you are able to understand his character better. His story arch/character is just starting to get developed and I hope you enjoyed this chapter's insight into him. And Seungkwan is back!! I love writing Seungkwan and I can confirm he's here to say so you can get excited about that if you want. 
> 
> Lastly, I want y'all to know I'm writing a Soonhoon Christmas fic. I am so so so excited about it so if you would like to read that please subscribe and that should be up by Christmas!
> 
> Links: 
> 
> Playlist: [here](http://suan.fm/mix/10s4NfX).  
> Tumblr: [@bronzegyu](http://bronzegyu.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	11. Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendship is a complicated web of history and feelings. And Jihoon, Seokmin, Wonwoo and Mingyu are all just trying to untangle that web.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best with formatting I hope it makes sense!

Mingyu was rather pleased with himself. A gentle smile danced just beneath the surface of his face. It was wriggling, moving, itching to surface and trespass into the realm of reality, but as much as he wanted to smile, he knew that if he did Wonwoo would pick up on the fact that something was up. Instead he funneled the energy from his anticipation into something else–watching Wonwoo draw. 

Mingyu was actually impressed with how far Wonwoo had gotten. His sketching skills, though still unquestionably average, were improving. The lines he drew now looked lighter, more fluid, and there were signs of ease and relaxation in his sketches. But art wasn’t the only place where Mingyu saw these comforting signs. He also could see it on Wonwoo’s face. A few weeks ago even, as Wonwoo focused on a drawing, something about him was rigid, almost frozen but now that aura was gone, it had thawed. 

When the bell rang to signal the end of class and the beginning of lunch, Wonwoo felt like he had been snapped out a trance. He looked up to see that Mingyu watching him, and immediately he felt a sharp heat radiate in his cheeks and the tips of his ears. 

_Was Mingyu watching him this whole time?_

Wonwoo wanted to come up with some quick joke, something to make fun of Mingyu but he couldn’t. Knowing that Mingyu had been watching him made Wonwoo’s heart rate pick up. He couldn’t hear anything but the thumping of his heart and he was starting to get flustered. Words weren’t easy when he was flustered. He didn’t know what to say so he looked at the floor and mumbled, 

“I’m uh… going to buy some lunch and come back.” 

“Wait, you can’t!” 

Wonwoo still wasn’t ready to look at Mingyu’s face but he knew that Mingyu was acting weird. 

What did he mean by “can’t?”

“Gyu- what do you mean?” 

 

“I mean that you need to wait here for a second until I come back.” Mingyu said as he walked out of the classroom. 

Wonwoo was confused, but he listened to Mingyu and waited. But just before Mingyu left the classroom he turned around and looked at him to say something, his cheeks were a warm rosey color and a little grin danced on his face, who turned around and added,

“By the way it’s weird when you don’t look at someone when they’re talking.” 

Mingyu came back a couple minutes later carrying a really big tote bag. He set it down on the table and started taking out multiple different boxes. One looked like it had a couple cookies in it. Another had fresh looking sandwiches and to top everything off Mingyu pulled out two Juice boxes from his bag. Wonwoo watched Mingyu set everything out, his face wrinkled into a cute but concentrated expression as he shuffled around the boxes trying to set their table the best he could. Something inside Wonwoo flipped as he came to the realization that Mingyu had made him lunch. The feeling was just as unpleasant as it was perfect. 

Wonwoo hadn’t said anything to Mingyu since he had gotten back from grabbing the tote. He was just kind of watching Mingyu set everything out which freaked Mingyu out. Wonwoo hadn’t even offered to help him set up the table, and Mingyu wasn’t sure if that was because Wonwoo awkward and didn't know any better or if it was because Wonwoo felt uncomfortable that Mingyu had brought him lunch. The inevitable, insecure voice whispered into his ear and said,

_What if Wonwoo thinks I’m being weird?_

Even the thought of that made Mingyu more anxious. His hands started to get clammy, only then considering that maybe bringing lunch was a bad idea. His mind started to race, and he couldn’t stand to look at Wonwoo just staring at him. So he decided to turn his back on him, that way he could get some space from Wonwoo to figure out what to do or say next. 

But it was hard for Mingyu to focus on what he was going to do or say next. He found himself dwelling over the fact that he had woken up early to make lunch for the two of them when Wonwoo probably though it was weird. So instead he shuffled the containers of food he brought hoping that doing so would ease the butterflies in his stomach and calm his nerves. But it didn’t, it just enabled him to start mumbling apology-like phrases at Wonwoo, 

“I… erm I guess… made lunch for us. But I know that’s weird and… you can just get cafeteria lunch if it is it’s all good… uh so yeah” 

When Mingyu didn’t hear Wonwoo say anything he turned around, only to find Wonwoo smiling a sheepish grin,

“I should be the one apologizing I drank my juice box already.” 

A little smile snuck onto Mingyu’s face, 

_He didn’t think it was weird…_

Mingyu rolled his eyes and Wonwoo took that as an invitation for him to sit next to him. Mingyu wasn’t really hungry, so he just sipped on a juicebox while Wonwoo started on one of the sandwiches he brought. He knew Wonwoo was talking to him but he couldn’t really listen. The only thing Mingyu could focus on were the little butterflies in his stomach. They were still there. But their presence felt different now. Earlier, the butterflies made him nervous, and they still did, but somehow being nervous didn’t freak Mingyu out anymore. 

 

Jihoon was not happy. It was a weeknight and Seokmin had invited him and Jun over for something he claimed was really important. Jihoon showed up on time, unlike Jun, and sat on the floor of Seokmin’s bedroom watching him pace around the room. Jihoon had asked Seokmin to just tell him what was going on but Seokmin was insisting on waiting for Jun. Seokmin was just pacing around his room. With every step Seokmin made took Jihoon felt himself slip deeper and deeper into confusion. Jihoon took into account that Seokmin could be a bit… dramatic at times but still, his behavior was strange. He seemed off balance. Jihoon could see the nervous ticks Seokmin usually concealed creep into his otherwise confident behavior. And all Jihoon could do was anticipate the thing that was so crazy Seokmin had to invite them over to talk about. 

Jun finally joined them half an hour late, his face captured some of the same anticipation that Jihoon felt (granted Jun looked a bit more excited than Jihoon) but he wasn’t picking up on the little hints Seokmin left about his nerves. 

The three friends sat on the floor. Jihoon’s eyebrows were crinkled, something felt ominous about what was going to happen. Maybe it was the way Seokmin kept looking at his hands avoiding eye contact, or the way Jun seemed to be oblivious to the tense energy in the room. Something just didn’t feel right to Jihoon. 

After a couple long seconds of contemplation Seokmin finally said something, 

“So… Mingyu is back.” 

Jun scoffed looking over at Jihoon to corroborate his disbelief but Jihoon was saying something else, 

“You mean like that Mingyu?” 

Seokmin nodded and Jihoon and Jun were stunned. Jihoon’s mouth hung open, not really understanding what Seokmin had said. But when Seokmin repeated himself, clarifying that Vernon had said something about Mingyu to him the other day it dawned on Jihoon and Jun that Mingyu was not just a part of their past, he was now very much a part of their present. 

Jun was the first one to say something after Seokmin told them. While Jihoon was at a loss of words, struggling to figure out how exactly to react Jun said the first silly thing that came to his mind,

“Ohhhh...” he sighed, the expelling the sound from the depth of his belly and trying to hide the unease in his voice with a sarcastic quip, “how’d we miss that?” 

Jihoon snicked. There was a sense of awkward discomfort in the air and his cackle attempted to crack it. Jun and Jihoon didn’t know how to react. They hadn’t spoken about Mingyu since the summer of their freshman year. And when Mingyu showed up in their wandering thoughts the two of them knew to tuck those moments back into the private depths of their brains. After their fall out with Mingyu Jun and Jihoon had quickly learned that Seokmin didn’t want to talk about it, and eventually the two of them got bored of talking about it too. They used to gossip about what happened with each other but eventually life moved on and they grew up. Mingyu was sort of a taboo topic but mostly they hadn’t talked about him because they had forgotten about him. But now the rules had changed. They were talking about Mingyu and Seokmin voluntarily brought him up. Everything sort of felt flipped, like the laws of gravity had changed in a second. And in this new world Jihoon figured laughing at Jun’s comment was acceptable. 

Seokmin rolled his eyes it was clear he was unnerved by Jihoon’s chuckle and Jihoon felt bad. He didn’t want to say anything explicitly, he wanted to protect Seokmin’s pride, so instead he apologized by asking him a question, 

“Have you run into him yet?” 

Seokmin fidgeted for a second, he looked restless and he spoke softly, devoid of his usual positive self assurance, 

“I haven’t. I think he’s like keeping a low profile or something. It’s just– I’m worried.” 

 

Jihoon nods, keeping a low profile makes sense to him but then he remembers the last bit of Seokmin’s sentence, “I’m worried”. His eyes narrow, something feels wrong about that. Why would Seokmin be worried? He isn’t sure why he couldn’t believe Seokmin but he feels himself becoming suspicious, 

“Worried? About what?” 

Seokmin clears his throat and beings slowly, 

“Well you know that guy Wonwoo’s been spending all his time with?” 

Jun and Jihoon nod, the latter getting impatient with Seokmin’s theatrics. 

“Well Wonwoo’s been spending all his time with Mingyu.” 

Jun lets out a soft gasp and laughs, it was a nervous impulse for him just like saying the first thing that came to his mind earlier. Unlike Jun’s reaction Jihoon’s was hard to read. He looked utterly perplexed. His face contorted with worry and his mind kept slipping into unease as he felt in his gut that something was wrong with Seokmin’s story. 

*** 

Wonwoo was thankful that Vernon didn’t have much to say to him that morning. He just wanted a little piece and quiet to start of his Friday. Wonwoo was sitting on the linoleum floor in front of Vernon’s locker reading a book, waiting for the class to start while Vernon next to him jamming to his “before school pump up mix.” 

“Wonwoo?” 

Wonwoo was caught off guard by the voice that called him name. He looked up and there was Jun accompanied by none other than Jihoon and Seokmin. Wonwoo had been avoiding the three of them lately. At first he thought he was being subtle, but in the last couple of weeks he realized that he was doing the exact opposite… and he didn’t really care. 

Wonwoo let out a soft breath of annoyance and moved to stand up, nudging Vernon to do the same. He lost sight of his peaceful morning before school and pretended to listen as Seokmin, Jihoon, Jun, and Vernon talked about weekend plans. Midway through their conversation, Vernon said one word that caught his attention,

“…Mingyu...” 

Wonwoo quickly looked over at Vernon confused, promoting Vernon to repeat himself, 

“I was just saying we should invite Mingyu to hang out with us tonight.” 

 

Wonwoo instinctively nodded, he wasn’t enthusiastic about Mingyu meeting Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon. He didn’t want Mingyu to think he was a jerk because he hung out with them. But at the same time Wonwoo knew that if he invited Mingyu, he would beam at him and adorably try to conceal his childish excitement and _that_ was something he could be enthusiastic about. So a gentle smile nuzzled itself onto Wonwoo’s face and he said,

“Sure, I think Mingyu would like that.” 

Seokmin’s face went pale as Vernon uttered Mingyu’s name. He had just told Jihoon and Jun about Mingyu the day before and wasn’t yet ready to see him. He could feel Jihoon and Jun’s eyes fixate on him, reading the expressions on his face and waiting for him to take a lead. 

So he did.

His voice lost all warmth, and the dark part of him came out, the side that even scared Seokmin a little bit, 

“I don’t think we should have people not all of us know hang out with us.” 

Seokmin’s voice came out confident and calm, even though he was feeling anything but that. He knew he was being a jerk, he knew what he was doing was mean and he could see it tearing Wonwoo apart. He noticed the glimmer of hurt in Wonwoo’s eyes, and the way his face tensed up. Seokmin knew, particularly in moments like those, that he was a jackass. 

Wonwoo’s frustration had been simmering and he couldn’t keep his voice even, so when he spoke it came out spiked with all the anger he had been suppressing the last couple months, 

“Why does everything have to be so fucking exclusive Seok?” 

Wonwoo was upset. He was upset with himself for letting him get excited about introducing Mingyu to everyone else, but he was also upset with Seokmin for molding him and his friends into a clique. But it wasn’t just upset, it was also anger. The type of anger he had gotten used to as he tried splitting his time between Mingyu and his other friends. The kind of guilt tripping anger he felt every time he found himself falling into Seokmin’s traps even though he knew he just wanted to hangout with Mingyu. And then he felt a pang of sickness creep into his stomach as he thought about what Mingyu would think of him if he knew he was friends with a bunch of jerks. 

Jihoon could see the angry heartbreak written all over Wonwoo’s face. But he also saw the dead clouds fogging up the look in Seokmin’s eyes. Jihoon didn’t understand Wonwoo’s anger, but he also couldn’t make sense of Seokmin’s expressions. He almost always understood the two of them, but that day he didn’t. He only felt questions bubble up in his mind. 

_Why does Seokmin look like he’s sick? Why does Wonwoo look heartbroken? What was even going on with the two of them?_

But what Jihoon didn’t understand is how even though Seokmin and Wonwoo were arguing with each other, he felt the same rage radiate off of both of them. Jihoon knew they were holding something back, and he assumed it was the pent up emotions that were spilling out of them at that moment. The anger, the frustration, the pain that Jihoon read from both of them was about something more, something realer than the question of inviting Mingyu to hang out with them. Jihoon didn’t know what to do about everything he saw. How was he supposed to decide who’s pain was more valid? He couldn’t. So he did what he knew how to do. Make peace. He chose to try and get Wonwoo to calm down. Sure, he was stubborn but not as stubborn as Seokmin. He looked at Wonwoo, his eyes glimmering, trying to communicate how torn he was and quietly pleaded, 

“Let’s just let this go.” 

Wonwoo scoffed. He left their group wondering why no one would take his side. 

The memory of what happened that morning kept replaying over and over in Seokmin’s head like a broken tape. Wonwoo’s look of utter distress and distrust was the only image frozen in his brain. There was something so incredibly familiar about Wonwoo’s look. Thinking about it helped nervous chills run down Seokmin’s back and soak into his spine. It took him some time but he finally placed why that feeling was so familiar, why it was so haunting. It was because he saw that same look on Mingyu’s face almost four years ago. Something about what happened that morning was taking him back to his own freshman year, and he felt the same emotions hitting him again. The same undeniable twists of guilt took over his gut and he started to feel anxious. 

He excused himself from class, grabbed a hall pass and tried to find the bathroom the farthest away from him. Glendale was actually a pretty big school and he knew he could wander around the halls for quite some time before he got into trouble. Eventually Seokmin came across a hallway he wasn’t familiar with and decided to walk through. It was the music, theater, and arts side of the school, and Seokmin hadn't been there since he took a required art class his freshman year. 

At the end of the hallway he found a bathroom, it was smaller than the rest in the school, but he didn’t mind. It felt private and that’s what Seokmin was looking for. He washed his face with cool water and tired to numb the writhing feeling that prompted his walk. As he wiped his face off with a scruffy paper towel when the class bell rang, and Seokmin realized he needed to rush back to his classroom and talk himself out of trouble for missing the last ten minutes of class.  
But as Seokmin opened the bathroom door and looked into the hallway the urgency he felt immediately dissipated. Even though there was a rush of students pouring out of the classrooms Seokmin’s eyes landed on Wonwoo and Mingyu. The two of them were leaving class together, laughing. Mingyu had a sloppy goofy grin plastered on his face as he watched Wonwoo look up towards the sky clapping his hands and laughing. Seokmin was focused on the image of just the two of them. The other people in the hallway became a blur, the only thing in focus was the joy on Mingyu and Wonwoo’s faces. 

They both looked so happy. There was something about the way the two of them looked each other that reminded him of his friendship with Mingyu. It was clear the two of them cared for each other and trusted one another completely. But at the same time there was this energy that bounced between the two of them was something more. What they had was realer than anything he ever had with Mingyu. What they had was tangible, Seokmin felt as though he could hold it in his hands if he wanted to. And that “it” made its home in the way Mingyu gently shoved Wonwoo aside as he teased him, and the way Wonwoo looked up at Mingyu, his gaze absorbed in complete awe. Seokmin hadn’t been that jealous of anything since the last time Mingyu was part of his life. 

*** 

Around four o’clock that night Wonwoo found himself standing across the street from Mingyu’s house. It looked just as cozy and humble and warm as he thought Mingyu looked. Mingyu’s house, to Wonwoo, felt like an extension of his closest friend. Wonwoo contemplated arriving at Mingyu’s door unannounced but for some reason that doesn’t feel right. Instead he decided to call Mingyu. 

“Hey Wonwoo, whats up,” 

“Hi, I erm…” 

Mingyu waited for Wonwoo to finish up his sentence but he doesn’t he just murmurs something indecipherable on the other end and Mingyu interrupts him, 

“Why’d you call? Shouldn’t you be busy or something, it’s afterschool on a Friday?” 

“Yeah… I guess. It’s just-”

“Are you okay? You sound strange?” 

Wonwoo knew he was acting weird. He could feel his palms get clammy and his shirt gets kinda sweaty but he couldn't tell Mingyu that. 

 

“No, yeah. I uhh I’m fine,” Wonwoo paused for a second, the only thing he could hear was his heart beating. He cleared his throat and then spoke, “what are you up to right now?” 

“I’m you know out or whatever” 

Wonwoo wanted to laugh, it’s so clear to him that Mingyu was lying but to double check he looked up at the window to Mingyu’s room. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw Mingyu wearing a dirty smock holding a paintbrush in one hand and holding a cell phone in the other. Wonwoo smirked and said, 

“You don’t need to lie to me. I’m a loser.” 

 

“No you’re not!” 

“Well would anyone but a lose stand outside his best friend’s house and call him to see what he was up to?” 

As soon as Wonwoo says “best friend” Mingyu’s heart thumps and he wonders,

_Is that what skipping a heartbeat feels like?_

Mingyu then rushed to the front door and opened it, his eyes meet Wonwoo’s and he smiled, 

“Well it’s okay. I like losers.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carving out time to write was my Valentine's day gift to myself. I hope you like this chapter! 
> 
> Links: 
> 
> Playlist: [here](http://suan.fm/mix/10s4NfX).  
> Tumblr: [@bronzegyu](http://bronzegyu.tumblr.com/)  
> Instagram: [meensmems](https://www.instagram.com/meensmems/)  
> 


	12. It's Been Awhile But...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vernon doesn't know what to do about the shitball his friend group has turned to but he runs into a familiar friend who helps him get on the path to figuring out what to do.

Vernon was a detention connoisseur. No matter which high school he had been at he hadn’t made it past a couple weeks without getting detention and then continuing to accumulate it somehow through his time at that school. Detention, no matter where was always a guaranteed drag. But Glendale’s detention was particularly horrifying, you weren’t allowed to bring anything. You just had to sit there and not fall asleep. But that Friday, the same Friday Wonwoo had stormed off during lunch, Vernon felt lucky to have detention. Maybe lucky wasn’t the right word, he was more like relieved. Having detention gave him an indisputable excuse so he could weasel his way out of hanging out with Seokmin, Jihoon, and Jun. Detention was just the right amount of boring to force Vernon to think. 

There were so many things he didn’t understand about what had happened earlier that day. He didn’t understand why inviting Mingyu to hang out twisted the knife in the wound that was Wonwoo and Seokmin’s already failing friendship. Seokmin was being a jerk, he understood that, but Wonwoo’s reaction wasn’t proportional to Seokmin’s offense. Wonwoo didn’t overreact to things, his thing was not reacting. So the fact that he had such a visceral reaction, a reaction that seemed to weigh heavier than Vernon could understand worried him. Wonwoo’s reaction didn’t make any sense to Vernon, the only thing that made sense to him was that Wonwoo was reacting to more than what he was letting onto. There was something deeper happening with Wonwoo. Vernon felt like he was seconds away from connecting the last couple pieces together before he could understand what was really going on between him and Seokmin. But before he could figure out that stuff, Vernon had to think back to how it all started. 

Vernon began his senior year by building Friday afternoons around spending time with Seokmin, Jun, Jihoon, and Wonwoo. The five of them would meet by Jihoon’s locker after school and then they’d walk to the mall across the street and grab something to eat before going to the movies or hanging out at someone’s house. They liked to go to this small town fast food chain called Dessie’s. They’d all pile into a booth, Jihoon and Jun on one side, Seokmin, Wonwoo, and Vernon squished on the other. Then they’d all listen as Wonwoo made his weekly plea to get a mint ice cream sundae to share instead of the usual vanilla. He was always stubbornly outvoted by Jun and Jihoon but it was never that serious. Wonwoo would sigh, mask a small smile, and resign his efforts. Most Friday’s, Seokmin would tack on a large side order of fries to dip into the sundae and eat. Vernon thought it was kinda weird at first but he learned to develop a weekly craving for ice-cream sundae and fries. Hanging out with all of them was fun, and simple. Two things it never seemed to be anymore. It was during those weekly hangouts that Vernon really got to know everyone. After a long hard week of school it seemed like all of them only melted into their actual selves at a booth at Dessie’s. 

Things went on like that for a while, everything was simple and made sense until it didn’t.

Until Wonwoo decided to stop coming to Dessie’s and everything started going to shit. 

Or maybe that was just how Vernon remembered it. He went through all their trips to Dessie’s again in his mind and he started to wonder. Maybe Vernon could hear disdain wrapped around Seokmin’s voice. Maybe he could see glimmers in Wonwoo’s eyes hinting that he was annoyed with Seokmin. Maybe he could feel how he was deliberately initiated into a clique. Vernon wondered if maybe what had exploded today had been bubbling and brewing and just waiting for the perfect moment to burst, but he had missed it because he got caught up with fitting in. But now Vernon could only wonder. 

Vernon was thankful when the bell rang to signify the end of detention. He took his time as he walked back to his locker to grab his stuff. He had a natural shuffle to his walk but all the stuff he was thinking about just exasperated his shuffling. He wasn’t paying attention to what was going on when he felt someone staring at him. He looked over and his eyes met Seungkwan. He was wearing a pastel yellow sweater and light grey trousers that were really trendy most places but not Glendale. His hair was still blonde and Vernon took notice of a little mole above his lip for the first time. Even though his appearance hadn’t changed much something about Seungkwan looked different to Vernon that day. There was no hint of the radiant smile or the warmth Vernon had learned to associate with Seungkwan. Seungkwan just looked confused, maybe even a little cautious, but still just as confident as Vernon remembers him being.

Seungkwan was one of those people that stuck out to everyone. There was something about him, even though it was something no one could name, that made everyone simultaneously respect and fear him at the same time. Seungkwan had a gift for respecting how he felt, something lots of kids in highschool didn’t have. Instead of trying to change or hide how he was feeling to please people, Seungkwan was wise enough to let himself go through his emotions. He took his time processing them, and he wasn’t ashamed of them. He was proud of how he felt, how he was, even if that meant kids made fun of him for being a teacher's pet or he came off as sort of bossy to his peers. Most people (Vernon included) had difficulty understanding that about Seungkwan. It was one of those things everyone who met Seungkwan picked up on but few could place what made him such a distinct character. The inability to categorize Seungkwan is what steered people away from him, but for Vernon that was what was so attractive about Seungkwan’s nature. 

Seungkwan hadn’t stopped staring at him and Vernon wasn’t sure what that meant. Without thinking too much he started walking quicker towards Seungkwan. Vernon hadn’t spoken to him since the beginning of the year and all of a sudden he was feeling nostalgic for a time before he became friends with Seokmin’s clique. He became nostalgic for when he was just casual acquaintances with Seungkwan. Vernon wondered if he had kept in touch with Seungkwan the two of them would have been friends. Maybe the two of them would have gone to Dessie’s together. Or maybe the two of them would have found a Korean restaurant to frequent together. An inexplicable warmth wrapped itself around Vernon as he thought of what could have been. But that warmth was shattered when Vernon looked back up at Seungkwan and sensed a coldness from him. 

Vernon was ashamed. Ashamed that he was the one that had ditched Seungkwan for a different clique. Vernon knew he was the only one who had something to be ashamed of. Seungkwan did nothing wrong. Vernon just ghosted him. He just stopped meeting Seungkwan before school, and slowly their text conversations got more and more awkward until they stopped completely. The emotion behind Seungkwan’s stare said so much. It was like a “fuck you” combined with “I feel bad for you” stare. Knowing that added to the growing mess of guilty, confusing emotions that lingered over Vernon all detention period. 

Vernon had walked up right in front of Seungkwan. He was close enough that he had to say something to him but he couldn’t find any words. Seungkwan was just staring at him and Vernon wanted to disappear. He didn’t find Seungkwan’s stare creepy or weird, but he knew it was the stare of someone he had hurt. He was angry at himself for hurting Seungkwan and embarrassed that he hadn’t realized he had hurt him until that moment.Vernon didn’t know what he could say or do that would make it right. Vernon wanted a second chance, and he knew he’d have to speak to get one. 

He waved a hesitant hello and spoke softly, 

“Hey… erm I know it’s been a while but how are you?” 

And that’s when Seungkwan stops his staring. He took a step back, Vernon was so close to his face. Seungkwan could feel blood rushing to his face turning it an embarrassed shade of red. So he turned to his open locker and threw some more stuff into his backpack to hide his face from Vernon. As much as he was disappointed in Vernon for ditching him, he couldn’t deny that Vernon was somehow more attractive than he remembered him being. Vernon’s jeans fit tight in all the right places and his messy floppy hair looked so soft that Seungkwan had to resist the urge to fix it himself. Seungkwan hated himself for getting flustered around Vernon, he thought he was over that, but apparently good looking sort of douchey boys still had a way with messing with his feelings. Seungkwan let out a sigh, put on his usual confident tone and replied, 

“I’m good, there’s a lot of stuff going with winter dance planning so a little busy actually,” he took a moment to pause and then added, “your friends are helping me plan it actually.” 

There was an exhausted exasperated tone as Seungkwan said the words “friends” and Vernon quickly noticed it. In that moment Vernon realized that Seungkwan had already figured out that Seokmin was sort of an ass, and he probably thought that Vernon was one too. Vernon let out an audible sigh and Seungkwan looked at him confused and asked, 

“What was that?” 

“What was what?”

“Your sigh Vernon,”

Vernon didn’t think his sigh had been that noticeable, nor did he expect Seungkwan to ask him about it so he ended up fumbling an answer, 

“I erm.. It just… I know they’re dick’s. I mean my friends are. Except Wonwoo he’s a nice guy.” 

Seungkwan was failing to hide the sly smile growing on his face. He let out a breath, happy he could be more transparent with Vernon and said, 

“Well, I’m stuck planning the dance with them so I’ve been spending more time with those diva’s than I’d like.” 

Vernon squinted at Seungkwan, cocked his head which prompted Seungkwan to explain, 

“You do know that Seokmin, Jun, Jihoon, I mean all your friends, are on Student Council right?” 

“Oh yeah…” Vernon slowly started to remember Jihoon mentioning something about Student Council, “I guess I just forgot,” 

Seungkwan chuckled, it sort of made sense to him that Vernon would be the kinda guy who was spacey enough to forget that his own friends were in Student Council. But Vernon wasn’t listening. He was lost in thought finding the right words to explain the rest of what he wanted to say, 

“... I don’t know if they’re my friends anymore.” 

For the first time in awhile Seungkwan couldn’t think of anything to say. He was completely stunned, it looked like Vernon was coming to terms with something much larger than Seungkwan could handle in an awkward hallway conversation. He shut his locker, the awkward slam ringing in the air until he said, 

“I always thought you were a lot nicer than them.” 

Vernon smiled but Seungkwan could tell he was sort of serious when he said “I don’t know about that,” the air hung heavy for a moment before he added “I always thought it was weird you didn’t have like a set group of friends”. 

“I guess I was happy enough just floating around”. 

“Are you still?” 

Seungkwan shrugged, not knowing exactly where he wanted the conversation to go. He had been carrying around some anger about Vernon ditching him, but in that moment, as Vernon was standing right next to him, he saw for the first time that Vernon cared. He was still confused and effortlessly cool but now there was a new air of authenticity around him. It was like there was a crack in the facade that Vernon used to protect himself with and he cared about Seungkwan, he wanted to know stuff about him. And that felt good. He wanted to know if he could become friends with Vernon. If he could give him another chance, and find something that both of them needed. So he asked Vernon if he was doing anything and when he said no he invited him over to his place to hangout for a bit.  


**Mingyu:** _i’mm SOO bored_  
**Wonwoo:** _thanks for sharing_  
**Mingyu:** _Why the fuck are you so rude?_  
**Wonwoo:** _cuz._  
**Wonwoo:** _See I can use slang too._  
**Mingyu:** _u put a period after cuz that hardly counts_  
**Wonwoo:** _It does._  
**Mingyu:** _well i don’t care if it does or doesnt. im home alone and I have nothing to do_  
**Wonwoo:** _Is this your sneaky way of asking if i’d come over?_  
**Mingyu:** _…_  
**Mingyu:** _is it pathetic if I say yes_  
**Wonwoo:** _I’ll be over in ten._

Wonwoo could hear what he believed to be Girls Generation as soon as he entered Mingyu’s house. Mingyu had left the front door partially open, something that was totally safe and common in their town. He followed the music upstairs to find Mingyu in front of his laptop dancing along to I Got A Boy, and from the looks of it it wasn’t his first time doing the whole routine. Although Wonwoo wanted to let out a snarky comment and make fun of Mingyu he couldn’t. He could barely get a word out because Mingyu’s was shirtless. He was wearing nothing but a feathered blue boa, and Wonwoo was trying to convince himself that it was totally normal to admire another guys muscles with such intensity. Not knowing what to say Wonwoo coughed to get Mingyu’s attention. Mingyu smiled and said, 

“Wonwoo come dance with me!” 

Wonwoo shook his head, 

“No fucking way Gyu”.

“Pleaaaaseee”

Wonwoo pointed at Mingyu’s boa and said “No, and you look like a dumbass”. 

Mingyu took the boa off, somehow managing to expose more of his chest, and Wonwoo practically choked while continuing to fail at concealing the blush that had creeped into his face. Mingyu walked up to Wonwoo, and wrapped the boa around him. He smirked and asked,

“Who looks like a dumbass now?” 

Wonwoo giggled, which prompted Mingyu to grab Wonwoo by the arms and pull him right next to him, 

“What are you so afraid of Wonwoo?” 

Wonwoo wanted to say something but he couldn’t it. What was stopping him? What Seokmin thought of him didn’t matter to him anymore. He looked at Mingyu, his eyes were mischievous and playful but also curious, like he really wanted to know what was stopping Wonwoo. But Wonwoo didn’t want to tell him about Seokmin. Not yet anyway. He didn’t need those two worlds to collide. Right now Seokmin was part of a different world, a different life. Mingyu was Wonwoo’s safe spot. When he was with him it was just the two of them. It was fun, honest, and safe. It was safe. Mingyu made Wonwoo feel safe. 

Wonwoo shrugged and grabbed Mingyu’s hands, leaning into the music, into Mingyu, into the world he had built with him. He let Mingyu guide him around their small makeshift dance floor. His movements started out tight, but they loosened eventually and he stopped thinking. He closed his eyes and his brain quieted down. He was present. All he focused on was the rough pressure of Mingyu’s calloused hands and the music playing in the background. When he finally opened his eyes he looked up at Mingyu who was grinning the cheesiest grin at him and Wonwoo did the same. 

The music eventually shuffled into something slower and Wonwoo rested his head on Mingyu’s chest. His best friends heart was thumping as fast as his. 

_Yeah, I feel safe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!! I hope you liked this update. I'm so glad Seungkwan is back in the mix he's literally my fav. If you've been reading this awhile and waiting for an update I'm so sorry. I took some time away from this fic to figure out my career (I just finished my freshman year of college and was struggling there for a bit) and focus on school but I'm back. I'm going to be writing more and updating more so please stick around if you can. I'm really excited to share the rest of this story! Thanks for reading <333333


	13. Falling In & Out of Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mingyu comes out to his mom and starts a new life at a new school. Vernon finds some answers to the questions he'd been asking.

Telling his mother he was gay was the hardest thing Mingyu had to do. He couldn’t explain to her why he wanted to transfer out of Glendale, move away from his best friends, and do it as soon as possible without telling her he was gay. He tried. He tried being brief. He tried saying Glendale was just too white and too annoying. He tried saying he needed space from the routine he had created at Glendale but his mother saw right through all of that. She was his mother and a good one. She knew something was wrong, and she didn’t let it go. She wasn’t aggressive, or invasive, she kept asking questions in a way that ebbed away at Mingyu. He loved his mother, and he wanted to be able to tell her anything. He wasn’t sure how she would take him being gay. He couldn’t believe that she would be one of those magical mom’s who would immediately go “Oh finally” but at the same time he also couldn't see his own mother as the kind of parent to kick him out of his house and turn her back on him. His mom loved him, more than anything, he knew that. And he had to tell her—even though he couldn’t be sure what was going to happen, or how she was going to react, he knew it had to happen. 

One day after an awkward dinner, the two of them were just standing around the kitchen, his mother cutting up an apple and Mingyu standing across from her, waiting to split it with her. Something about the strange intimacy of a kitchen and the late night air convinced him to just blur it out at his mother, he didn’t even think to look her in the eyes,

“I think I’m gay” 

His mother didn’t say anything for what felt like ages, she didn’t immediately pause cutting the apple or scream in shock, she took her time taking it in. Mingyu watched his mom look up at him, her eyes furrowing in a way he recognized as something he did when he was stressed, and the tears he had held his whole life started to leak. 

“I- I know it ma, I don’t think it. I’m gay.” 

Their conversation sort of stopped where Mingyu had started it. The weeks following him and his mom didn't talk too much. She didn’t say anything mean to Mingyu, she never guilted him into denying the fact he was gay, she just needed time. Mingyu could understand that but it didn’t make it any easier watching his mother struggle with who he was. He had noticed that she had closed in on herself. He found her pretending that everything was fine until it wasn’t. His mother would start off conversations with Mingyu just as she used to but halfway through something in her cracked. Her normal looking smile would fade and she got quiet, stress and worry painting her face to make her look older than she was. Mingyu thought she could only get halfway through the part before breaking character, before remembering that pretending wasn’t going to be enough. That she would have to find time to deal with the fact that her son was gay, and would always be. 

Part of Mingyu thought his mother was on the right track to want things to go back to how they were. He wanted to pretend that everything was fine, like if he had never come out to her, like if he was some sort of alternate universe Mingyu that was actually straight. One that would introduce his mom to his first girlfriend over a home-cooked Korean meal and take to prom or something. But Mingyu couldn't have that life anymore. His mom who had been waiting for Mingyu to grow up into the straight boy she had always envisioned was gone. In one conversation he had completely disappeared. Sure, Mingyu was still there but that idea of Mingyu, (one that even Mingyu was grieving) was gone. As much as both Mingyu and his mother wanted “normal” Mingyu back, they both knew they’d never have normal again. They would have to figure something out. The two of them would have to create a makeshift normal out of the pieces of Mingyu that they both still recognized and find places where the new pieces could fit. 

One night two weeks after he had originally come out to his mom, Mingyu woke up in the middle of the night. He could hear what sounded like sniffling coming from his mom. When he found her in the living room she was sitting on the floor surrounded by at least 60 pictures of Mingyu she had collected over the years. There were pictures from his first science fair, a couple from family vacations to Korea, photos with his dad, old yearbook photos, literally every memorable moment that Mingyu had in his life. 

“Mom?” 

His mom turned around desperately trying to dry her wet cheeks but Mingyu stopped her, 

“You don’t have to pretend like this isn’t hard. I- I get that it is you know?” 

Mingyu’s mom’s face broke out into a small smile, her eyes sort of sparkled like she just understood that nothing about Mingyu had changed. Tears started falling fatter and faster from her eyes as she pulled Mingyu into a hug. He eventually started to cry too. His sobs were loud and uncontrollable, he was letting out years of the guilt that came with being closeted out in one night. When he pulled away from her he blew his nose loudly into the sleeves of his own t-shirt and his mom chuckled and Mingyu ended up laughing too. It was the first time in a couple weeks the two of them had let out real, hearty laughs. It was then, as she watched her son laugh, that Mingyu’s mom knew that Mingyu needed to be at a school where he could laugh like that. She didn’t know all the details of what happened at Glendale but she knew enough to know that Mingyu was right, he couldn’t be there anymore. He needed to be somewhere where painful memories and old friends wouldn’t haunt him. He needed to be somewhere where he could feel safe. 

She took Mingyu’s hands in hers and said “I’ve been thinking a lot and I don’t care if you’re gay. I just needed time. I mean at the end of the day you’re my son and I love you. I want you to be happy, and I want you to know that I’ll always be there for you. You know that right?”

Mingyu nodded, of course he knew that, he had never doubted it and he never would. His mom would always stick up for him. 

“I know mom, and I won’t forget.” Mingyu smiled and looked around at photos surrounding him. He picked up a photo of him and Seokmin, they looked about 7, Mingyu was missing his front teeth and Seokmin’s hair was buzzed into a horrible army crew cut thing. He remembered that summer. It was the summer Mingyu had gotten some gooey honey mixture in Seokmin’s hair and his mom decided there was no solution other than to buzz it all off. The memory brought a little smile to Mingyu’s face, he missed Seokmin. He refused to believe the guy at Glendale was the Seokmin he was best friends with. Mingyu’s mom knew just by looking at her son’s face that he was still hurt but she also knew that Mingyu didn’t want to talk about it. She would listen when he was ready to tell her, maybe even ask one day but today wasn’t the right time. 

“So are you going to help me put all these photos back?” 

Mingyu started nodding and then something came to his mind, 

“Wait mom, could we pick some of these out to make a collage? I think they’d look nice over by the staircase.” 

His mother nodded, it was a good idea that wall was plain and boring. The two of them made plans to paint the wall a bright yellow and put up all the photos they had but it became one of those projects the two of them talked about more than did anything with. They had barely made any progress with their wall when it was time for Mingyu to move to his new high school. Mingyu’s mom was the one who encouraged Mingyu to build a portfolio for Hessner Academy for the Arts. She had found one of Mingyu’s sketch books and was convinced that he had to at least try. The school was perfect. It was only a fifteen minute bus ride from his dad’s place and it was close enough that his mom could make the two hour drive to visit on weekends. Mingyu always went home on long weekends and school holidays and eventually (it only took them 1.5 years) the two of them finished the photo wall they started. 

No one at Hessner cared that Mingyu was gay. At first he was shocked because so many of his new classmates were open about their sexualities. Even though they had uniforms a handful of boys expressed themselves with colorful eyeliner and big chunky earrings. And the school’s lesbian/bisexual clique practically ran the place. Everyone wanted to be them, date them, or be their friends. Even though Mingyu mostly kept to himself, didn't experiment much with his look (it always made the most sense to him to wear what was most comfortable), knowing that kids of all sexualities could be themselves and not be bullied put him at ease. He started to actually like coming to school. Hessner’s focus on self exploration gave him time and space to work things out. 

Art became a healing process for Mingyu. His first semester, before he had adjusted to the new pace at Hessner, he used art to simply distract him and help him forget what happened at Glendale. But eventually he started to make friends, open up to them, and he started opening up into his art as well. He let himself go and let his art guide him into arduous healing. His sophomore year all of his art was red, firey and angry but then it started to mellow out. He started using happy yellows and pinks in his paintings. He found a way to let go of the anger he had held on to against Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon. He started to think about the future without them, one brimming with possibilities and he was excited about it. He saw a future with a husband and some puppies and instead of that future being something he feared, he started to welcome it. He started using excited greens and bright yellows in his art. He started drawing guys the way he saw them, as precious, beautiful and loveable. He was able to find beauty amidst everything he used to hate about being gay, about being himself. He found inspiration in the way he felt when a cute boy smiled, or the way his first kiss with a boy felt. Things started to fall into place better than he could have imagined. Focusing on himself and doing what he loved had healed Mingyu. Living honestly as himself was a lot easier than living as the person he was at Glendale. 

But Glendale was an ecosystem, so it didn’t suffer when Mingyu left. People gossiped about it for a couple of days but eventually everyone moved on. Something more interesting always comes up in a highschool like Glendale. Jihoon and Jun tried to talk to Seokmin about what happened in the days afterwards, but he shut everyone out. Seokmin didn’t want to talk. He wanted to be alone and he isolated himself for a few weeks. Part of it had to do with the fact that things at home kept progressively getting worse. The fighting never seemed to end and eventually his mom decided to move out. A small part of Seokmin knew he should be happy for her, but he couldn’t be. He left her and now Seokmin was stuck with his abusive father and the only person he wanted to talk about it with was gone. And he wasn’t gone because he moved or something, it was because Seokmin literally chased him away. Looking back on everything that had happened, Seokmin could see that Mingyu held out and gave him chance after chance to realize what a dick he was being but he didn’t take any of the chances Mingyu gave him. Seokmin didn’t know how or why he had managed to fuck everything up so colossally but he did. He chased Mingyu away, ruining one of the few good things in his life. 

He tried calling Mingyu in the first couple months that he left, but he never got a response. He couldn’t even blame Mingyu, he understood why he wanted nothing to do with Seokmin. But understanding that didn’t really help Seokmin grow or move on. Instead, everything that happened turned Seokmin into something sort of nasty. He got possessive of Jihoon and Jun, he was constantly worried they’d find out who he really was and run away like Mingyu. He got paranoid and eventually created a persona for himself. He wanted to be cool, and confident kinda like Mingyu and somehow he found himself leading a clique by the time sophomore year started. He was actually pretty good at it. He knew how to keep the right amount of distance between him and the people around him to stay captivated by his mysterious energy. Both Seokmin and Mingyu hid parts of themselves because they were ashamed and in the end that’s what made them so good at leading cliques. It was because no one could ever really know who they were beneath everything.

***

Glendale, like any school with good taste and lots of white kids, had 3 school dances a year. Homecoming in the fall, Winter Ball in the winter, and Prom as the year was ending up. Student Council was unfortunately in charge of all three dances, which meant that Seungkwan was in charge of all the logistics. Under his leadership, the Student Council had to come up with a theme, find a DJ, and find cute finger food for the dance. It was a hard job, and one that was never appreciated. Everyone at Glendale, like most high school students, were only concerned with what was lacking at the dance, rather than appreciative of what went well. Seungkwan’s job was only complicated by the fact that a good portion of the Council didn’t do anything, and the senior boys: Jun, Jihoon, and Seokmin, encouraged their apathy. It was well known around the Council that Jun, Jihoon, and Seokmin were only part of it so they could have something seemingly important on their college applications. But for Seungkwan, Student Council was everything. 

Being it’s president gave him the perfect balance of theatrics, false importance, and leadership experience to satisfy his diva-esq needs. He loved being part of Glendale's political scene, even though he knew he was universally loathed by the student body for being Glendale’s first unpopular Student Council President. Seungkwan liked that his sheer talent, not his social standing, got him the gig. Half-way through the meeting Seungkwan started to designate who would be in charge of certain tasks for the dance. He got some freshman to volunteer to do drinks, he assigned the Vice President to be his point person, and got a group of cheerleaders to take on decorations. It came as a shock to everyone when Seokmin raised his hand and said, 

“Can Jun, Jihoon, and I be in charge of crowning the Winter Ball king and queen?” 

Seungkwan’s eyes narrowed trying to seek out if Seokmin was serious or not, but after a moment of quiet contemplation Seungkwan figured he might be serious. 

_Suspicious..._

Seungkwan shrugged, 

“Sure, I’ll put you down for that, just _please_ don’t mess it up because as you know I’ll have to take the fall for that. I don’t need a repeat of the Parent Teacher Conference fiasco”. 

The rest of the Student Council laughed, Seungkwan had a charming, authentic, brand of humor that they didn’t mind. But Seokmin only nodded, partly because he had no idea what all the “fiasco” talk was about, and partly because he was thinking about other things. Meanwhile Jun and Jihoon looked at Seokmin confused, they had had barely done anything for Student Council without coercion, let alone volunteered to do anything on their own accord. It was beyond Jun and Jihoon why this dance was any different. Jun, Jihoon, and Seokmin left the meeting together, meandering slowly out to the parking lot, but when the rest of the Council was out of earshot Jun nudged Seokmin in the stomach, 

“Why’d you volunteer us for that?” 

“Yeah,” Jihoon chimed, “crowing queen and king is like actually work, you have to count like all the votes”. 

A smirk danced on Seokmin’s face, 

“It’ll be worth it I swear. I’ll tell you about the plan when we get our ice cream at Dessie’s.” 

***

When Vernon walked into Chemistry class the first thing that caught his eye was an open seat next to Wonwoo and Mingyu. Wonwoo was jotting down some notes and Mingyu had his head down, presumably trying to squeeze in a power nap before class started. Vernon walked over, threw his stuff down by his chair and spoke to Wonwoo, 

“Hey” 

Wonwoo nodded in response and Mingyu snapped his head up, 

“Hey Vernon how are you?” 

 

Vernon smiled, he asked the question so genuinely, something Vernon had only really seen in Seungkwan in his years flip flopping around schools. Vernon slouched further into his seat, getting comfortable and said, 

“I’m good I guess,” Vernon then turned to Wonwoo and said, “I haven’t seen you in a while”.

Wonwoo scoffed, that got his attention, 

“Vern I saw you like two days ago!” 

“Try four…” 

“No…” 

Vernon shook his head and stared him down til Wonwoo turned red accepting his defeat. That was when Mingyu chimed in half teasing, half defending Wonwoo, 

“Well it’s probably because he’s been spending all his time with me.” 

Wonwoo wacked Mingyu in the head with his notebook and Mingyu giggled. That was the first time Vernon saw something strange in Wonwoo. He could have sworn that Wonwoo looked at Mingyu with the sort of affection reserved for people more than just friends. Vernon scooted his seat so that it made a horrible creaking sound and broke the little moment Mingyu and Wonwoo were having. 

“You know what guys, the three of us should hang out sometime, like outside this dumb Chem classroom”. 

Mingyu’s eyes lit up and he nodding got quick and excited, 

“Yeah, that’s a good idea, Wonwoo barely mentions any of his friends other than you so I’m down.”

Vernon looked over at Wonwoo confused, he was shifting uncomfortably in his seat at the very mention of his friends. Which confused both Vernon and Mingyu. Vernon had assumed Mingyu knew everything of the drama between him and Jun, Jihoon, and Seokmin because Mingyu and Wonwoo were inseparable, while Mingyu was confused at why the very mention of his friends made Wonwoo squirm. He didn’t understand why after all this time, after being certified best friends, fighting and finding each other again, Wonwoo still wouldn’t open up to him about his friends. Part of Mingyu wanted to believe that Wonwoo was a loner. He was quiet, invariably standoffish and well, alone more of the time. But there was something about the way Wonwoo shut down at the mention of friends and friendships that told Mingyu’s gut that he was wrong to assume. So Mingyu didn’t pry, he told himself it was because he didn’t want to push Wonwoo into talking about something he wasn’t ready to talk about but it was also partly because he didn’t want to believe Wonwoo would hide a part of who he was to Mingyu. And Mingyu also couldn't shut off the part of his brain that worried. What if Wonwoo didn't really trust him the way Mingyu trusted him? Or worse, what if part of Wonwoo was still embarrassed to be friends with Mingyu? 

After class, Vernon decided to walk over to Seungkwan’s locker. Vernon had been meeting Seungkwan there for lunch the last couple weeks and avoiding lunchtime in the library with Jun, Jihoon, and Seokmin. Ever since he’d been spending lunchtimes eating with Seungkwan helping him brainstorm and organize for the upcoming Winter Ball dance, Vernon had been feeling a little bit better. All the anxieties and questions he had the day he ran into Seungkwan had sort of found an answer. He learned to stop fixating on the mistakes he had made and now he simply was focusing on what made him happy. Which was eating lunch with Seungkwan as much as possible, avoiding the clique, and pushing off bigger existential moral quandaries about why Wonwoo and Seokmin hated each other so much. But that day Vernon didn’t get the luxury of avoiding the clique. Seungkwan had texted him that they couldn’t eat lunch together because he had some last minute Student Council thing come up. Which is why Vernon ended up eating lunch with Jun, Jihoon, and Seokmin instead. 

When Vernon sat down the boys didn’t even stop their conversation to say hello. They just kept talking about the Winter Ball. Vernon was just trying to focus on his lunch doing his best to tune out what Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon were talking about. But that changed when Jun asked, 

“Vernon, are you going?” 

Vernon blinked twice and looked around at everyone confused. Seokmin, Jun, and Jihoon were all looking at him for an answer but he hadn’t been listening, 

“What?” 

Jun rolled his eyes, 

“Are you going to the dance Vernon?” 

“Oh. Um, I dunno yet.” 

Jihoon arched his eyebrows curious and Seokmin grinned as he said, 

“Well I heard you were helping Seungkwan with some of the planning so you’re going right?” 

Vernon tried to respond but he was cut off by Seokmin finishing his thought, 

“If you are going I just wanted you to know that Jun, Jihoon, and I already have plans”. 

Vernon wanted to scoff but he knew he had to hold it in. 

_.What makes them think I even want to go with them?_

He was done letting Seokmin win. After a couple weeks seeing all of them less and less, and Seungkwan more, Vernon finally could understand why Wonwoo was so angry at Seokmin. He had finally snapped. This wasn’t to say Vernon fully understood the extent of Wonwoo’s rage, but now, even if he didn’t understand the intricacy of it, he could now see why it had built up until Wonwoo cracked. Seokmin was a bully. Plain and simple. There was no working around that and Vernon was tired of his shit. So he cleared his throat, making sure that he sounded calm and neutral, before saying what he knew would piss off Seokmin

“I’ll probably just go with Seungkwan, Wonwoo, and Mingyu then”.

Vernon expected to feel accomplished after he said that. He expected to feel whatever Seokmin felt when he smirked before saying something rude. He expected in some way to feel powerful but he didn’t feel anything. The air at the table had shifted into something cloudy, and ominous. Vernon had pushed Seokmin too close to the edge, and Seokmin did what he did best; he turned a loss into a win by playing dirty. Seokmin acted perfectly innocent and then teasingly said,

“I wouldn’t go with them”. 

Seokmin knew that would make Vernon simmer, and that it did. 

“Why?” Vernon spit back. 

“You know Mingyu’s gay don’t you?” 

Jihoon looked at Jun, the two of them hadn’t heard Seokmin mention that Mingyu was gay in years. It was always something none of them spoke but all of them understood. Jihoon could see the fear he felt in Jun’s eyes, but also an excitement that Jihoon didn't understand. Jun liked unpredictable Seokmin, but Jihoon wasn’t sure if welcoming him was the right thing to do. Something told Jihoon that this was that point of no return. Seokmin could rationalize anything, no matter how crazy, as long as it meant that he could hurt Mingyu and anyone that meant anything to Mingyu. 

Jihoon whispered something to Seokmin, trying to warn him not to take it any further but Seokmin just glared at him, his way of telling Jihoon to stay in his lane. And then Seokmin continued what he was saying, 

“Why would you want to go with someone like that?”

Vernon’s eyebrows furrowed, he just looked heartbroken now. He couldn’t understand why Seokmin, why anyone for that matter, could even come up with stuff like that to say. Vernon sort of sounded like he was pleading when he spoke next, but he wasn’t pleading for Seokmin to change his mind, he was pleading for Mingyu’s humanity, 

“You don’t even know him Seokmin…”

Jihoon started to move, but Jun grabbed his arm. He shook his head and Jihoon just looked at his shoes hoping that if he didn’t look everything would stop. Perhaps it was Jihoon’s way of praying that one day he could be braver, one day he’d do something instead of just stand by, even if it wasn’t in that moment. 

“Stop defending him Vern, he’s Wonwoo’s stupid charity case friend but you don’t have to hang out with them. You have no reason to be forced to be a part of that”. 

Vernon whispered “charity case?” to himself to make sense of those words, as if they could make sense. In a last ditch effort he looked over at Jihoon and Jun. Jun was still holding onto Jihoon’s bicep, Jihoon's eyes were sort of glazed and his face had gone totally pale, something even Vernon noticed. Vernon took in a deep breathe and didn’t let it go until he completely left the library. Vernon had tried, he tried to be as nasty as Seokmin but there was no way to beat a master at his own game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo even I can't believe I managed to get out another chapter so quick... I'm gonna try and get chapters out asap until I finish this fic because I have a bunch of fic ideas I want to start writing after this. Let me know if there's a particular ship you want me to write, right now my next fic idea is Meanie and Soonhoon but I'm open to a lot of things. Also, I hoped you liked this chapter the drama is really building and stuff so I'm quite excited to see your reactions to whats about to go down in the next couple chapters!
> 
> If you want to follow my ramblings and excitement for the upcoming comeback follow me on twitter @gayboygyu


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